Amazing story please don't abandon it its one of the best on the site!

Making Sakura top student? Fr?

that reveal was banging tho, damn, absolutely did not expect Sakumo

Great job please continue

My review isn't about the story itself rather your first author note. You shouldn't only write because people are following and/or favoriting. A person writes because they enjoy it and want to share their ideas with others.

while I dig this you should have labeled it as slight au as it obviously confuzeled some guests haa

The Godamine hokage was Tsunade the Sadamine was Hizuren

Where' the rest?

From the first chapter, the story was an odd sort of disjointed. The reader is thrust into an alternate universe with not so much as a date or introduction anchor themselves with. Apparently, the reader not having a clue what is going on until it's already happened is supposed to be a major theme of the work as a whole.

The first few chapters up until a chapter or so ago essentially boiled down to "The Adventures of Pink Batman and the Tragic-Past Posse" with absolutely nothing being explained or explored and the only tastes of exposition the reader ever had a hope of getting was a character playing the pronoun game and lamenting having to use "that" or how bad it would be if someone found out about "him."

We are never told why "that" would be a bad thing. We are never made aware that there is anything more than superficial depth to any of the characters until a deus-ex-machina is asspulled while drowning the reader in overly dramatic language.

There is no comprehensible foreshadowing to be found anywhere in the story so far. Every story turn is either a direct retelling of canon or an unexplained act of god aside from Sakumo's character shift. Sakumo's character shift just goes to show how little effort it actually takes to meaningfully flesh out a character and just makes it more frustrating to see so much else go completely unjustified.

Over 100'000 words in and only now is the reader able to have some ballpark understanding of the capabilities of the ostensible main character. I say 'ostensible' because up until a chapter ago, Pink Batman had more characterization and depth than Yellow Jekyll did.

Now, don't take this the wrong way. Your vocabulary and word usage are fairly high-level. Your dramatic word choice would even fit well (and I'd imagine it does with other readers) when they aren't swayed by frustration
over yet another cliche being pulled out of a hat with no foreshadowing or leadup.

You probably disagree with this reviewer's claims of a lack of foreshadowing. I would remind you that due to your choice to incredibly and strictly limit the information the reader has about the setting and the characters within that setting, you as an omniscient author would be able to pick up on details and false-details that readers who are only given a superficial glance at the world you built would discard offhand.

Telling the reader three chapters previously in the midst of yet another pronoun game that there was yet another "that" or "those" to watch out for is NOT foreshadowing. It's like a Power Rangers "Freak of the Week" superpower or tragic past anecdote pulled straight from the author's ass. That strategy may be exiting for some readers, but for others, it's an incredibly cheap and superficial storytelling mechanic that ruins suspense rather than builds and enhances it.

Going forward, the only real issues I've seen are the ones I've listed aside from the occasional and rare grammar error or a misplaced word here and there. That said, one or two missing words per ten thousand typed and sent to final draft aren't bad at all for a non-profit fan work.

Overall, I'd drastically cut the amount of times I willingly played with the ignorance I forced upon the reader by playing pronoun games. If I'm not going to explain or give reliable clues about the scenes I'm putting to print through colorful, suspenseful exposition, then it isn't fair for me to simply substitute that good exposition for a main character complaining about having to use "That" and then using "That" several thousand words of angst later.

I can totally understand wanting the reader to discover the world I built at a careful pace and wanting them to always be hungry for more details and reasons and explanations, but to completely starve them of those details and rationalizations and instead feed them yet another hollow, worthless pronoun over and over and over and over again is frustrating to say the least. Personally, I want to know all the "that"s and "who"s and that's why simply hearing them over and over with no clues to put together for myself is all the more frustrating. I want to know who trained Naruto. I want to know all the stuff that Sakumo being alive changed. I want to know how Rin living influenced certain later events involving Obito if he is included (considering when this story was started certain key plot events to the canon series weren't available). I want to know where Jiraiya is. I want to know what all the hullabaloo about Rice/Sound waaaaaaay back in the first chapter was all about.

That's why I'm frustrated on a personal level. Because I know that at the rate the story is going and due to the common conventions it uses to convey meaning that the most I can hope for is more piles of pronouns and angst until eventually those plot points are revealed long after I've stopped caring.

Nice! The story is getting more intense and I like it. Anyway I'm looking forward to Hinabi being integrated into the story. Keep up the good
work!

I have to admit I skimmed past this a few times; I finally got to reading it though and unfortunately couldn't get passed the half-way mark of this chapter.
I don't know if its the style of writing (Because it is well written) or just the content but it really seems quite... dull. Not in the sense that nothing is happening, even though it isn't; however you just keep writing about these really inconsequential things which usually only happens if your building up atmosphere. However if the atmosphere is dull working day, there's no need to build it up as it slows down the rest of the fic. So as intrigued as I am about the pairing (So few do it well, but it is great when done so) I'll have to give it a miss.
The reviews are also quite a turn off if I'm honest.

Yes! Glad to see you back to writing, and hopefully to stay! If I had to describe Naruto thus far, I would use the words crybaby, coward, and fearful. Of course that is the character you have been describing within the previous chapter, but as a reader every time a scene comes up where he scared or has tears in his eyes, it can be rather frustrating.

This could be in part because of strong imagery, it makes me look back at his old confidence and the utterly destroys that aspect of his character. While not terribly surprised by the kyuubi's debut most Wave arc stories do, I hope to see more improvement as a ninja from him soon, and less kyuubi reliance!

The last part of this chapter with Sasuke and Sakura actually gave me some relief, beforehand it seemed like Naruto was the odd man with the gigantic (i)rational fear of zabuza and the extra character insight of Sasuke definitely helped. Sakura we know blocks emotions rather well and or has strong mental fortitude, though herself taking possession of Naru's katana without qualms is a bit disconcerting haha.

Thank you for your hard work! Hopefully there will be less need of revision/dissatisfaction with your own work! Please enjoy it, we certainly don't want writing to be chore to you! Till next time!

GReat chapter, God knows I'd wait for so long! And by the way, When is Hanabi comming again?

If Naruto's training was so intense, why is Sakura stronger?

An unlikable protagonist is rarely a good idea.