Great story so far! Looking forward to the next chapter!

Fun chapter, only noticed one error and it was a minor one, maybe i missed a few but if there were other errors they were not serious enough to be bothered with. Anyway, keep up the good work :)

As you yourself said there might be some grammatical errors, and there is (Sorry to say). You could ask for someone to proofread it for you. Anyway, intresting story, i hope it receives more attention.

A fun concept, and an interesting start, though marred by grammatical errors. I can appreciate what's trying to be said, but the grammar undermines the story as a whole. I would recommend a beta reader to help you improve. Like I said though, I'm interested in what you're trying to do, and wish you the best of luck!