Hello! I'm here from the community Reviews Lounge, Too since a recommendation was made on this piece for the archive, so as a fair warning, I'm not super familiar with the first Suikoden game, but that won't be too big of a cripple. :) I really liked the way you presented the power balance (/is a hardcore feminist haha), having our brutish-swaggered Anita and the curious Miklotov. As well, the characterisations contrasted well from one another, giving us a sense of Camus' flirtatiousness and Leona's experienced nature.

["It's always like this." Leona shook her head. Miklotov dragged a seat, asking curiously,"You know her?" which was met with the older woman's nod. He helped her gathering the broken bottles, examining a dent on the floor where her sword was smashed against. "She was my regular customer back in Muse too. Often seen frustrated of something, drinking too much till she could barely stand. She's mostly calm enough when drunken, but every now and then stuff like this happens."]

Taking this paragraph as an example, you'd generally want to separate the dialogue into paragraphs according to each speaker, not subject, to make it clearer on who's saying what. In other words: new person, new paragraph.

Some of your narrations also stop abruptly like it's missing an entire phrase that comes after, such as: [Camus always said he was terrible in lying, so a second after she sipped her liquor.] as a note to mention.

I do like how you brought a different side of Anita as well, that roundness we get to see from her. Miklotov strikes me as almost having a hint of innocence in a way with that curiosity, helper-eagerness, and focused mindset of his; I like him. XD Cheers!

Tune

Ah, what a lovely fic about Miklotov (which is sadly, difficult to be found in the fandom). How nice of Miklotov to Anita, agreeing to help her to defeat Valeria. And I like it when you picture Anita when she was drunk (scaring off many people). The characterization of Miklotov is awesome too: polite but lacking the ability to tell a lie. You did a good job in writing this short yet adorable fic. :)

That was good.

Mohon maaf karena aku ngereview pakai Bahasa Indonesia lagi /headwall

Aku suka sekali dengan FanFicnya Q/Q. Miklotov yang dere-dere lucu sekali.

Great story, I enjoyed reading it! An interesting and original relationship between them, well done -