:D

Its Susan Bones and Hannah Abbott, Love the thing with Hufflepuff you got going on. Love the story~

Ooh. You might not like this but I do.

Beautiful. You gotta talent.

Wao~ Love how you wrote Ollivanders~ Everything about the scene, the interaction, is wow~ And Diagon Alley~

Wow, I love how Hermione's presence is a panther. That should totally be her animagus form!~ And comforting blanket? Is Harry a bunny?

I don't ususaly like Hermione at all, but your portrayal of characters makes this Hermione awesome. The bond created by the vows is something you can easily play with and you're doing a great jog, keep it up. Love the way you showed the nice, "rose tinted" parts of the Wizarding world and then the perjudiced, tainted parts at once, many people forget. Ollivander's was great, it was a nice idea to give them sibling wands. I am actually a Snape fan, but I have no problem admiting that he's the king of gits, fighting for the top place with Malfoy, Dudley, Dumbles and Moldyshorts. The way you wrote the forming of their opinions was great. I think few people can pull of writing like you do, but wow, I love reading your style of writing, add some Troye Sivan - Fun and Agnes Obel - Riverside and I'm in a perfectly philosophical mood, debating over the meaning of life. The whispers and fangirling over Harry is nicely written and the reactions to it too, different character's reactions and Hufflepuff's. Your portrayal is Hufflepuff made me smile, it's quite similar to mine - other houses bully them and underestimate them, so they band together against others. I'd love to read an interaction betwen Hermes, Harry and perhaps Sprout, Dumbledore, Ron or Malfoy and their thoughts. Can't wait for more c: I shall stop rambling now.

nice story i really like it
and hope you will take it up again sometime
(i guess you forgot about justin finch-fletchley as a hufflepuff firstie)

Interesting writing style- it has almost a... parable feel to it. Solemn and weighty in meaning, I suppose. Given the subject matter or plot or what have you, such a tone works very well. I'm a bit of a Harmonie fan but I don't need it to be romantic to enjoy it so I'm pretty happy with what you're writing here. Kind of curious what Hermione told her parents, how she explained her behavior with Harry but it would be a little hard to show it now.

The only real criticism I can offer is that you fall a little heavily on the 'tell' side of 'show, don't tell' writing concept. Your telling is better than most, but showing is more interesting on average. This last chapter, for example, had only one line of dialogue, with five words in it- not to say I didn't enjoy the chapter mind you.

Thanks for writing.

Nah, it's a good chapter I think. Sometimes when you keep reworking something like that, you just have to move on to the next part.

Snape... *grrr*

Yay! They're together, not split

Aww, I like it

nice can't wait to read more

cool