Wat da fuk dood, lern sum spcing scrb.

Seriously though, there are so many grammatical errors and as well as a few spelling errors, and your just bad at writing. I'm not saying you'll never get better or anything, but I cringed so many times this chapter because it was just so boring and bland.

'I had 2 health potions, 2 wet stones, and an accessory called 'the warrior's pendant.' I opened it's info.'
Firstly, you should say (type) two, not '2'.
Secondly, you're referring to an item, CAPITALIZE.
Thirdly, 'it's' means it is. I opened it is info? No, it should be 'its'.

That's only one of the many horrid sentences in this ONE chapter. You bold '5 minutes later' yet one HOUR later is just randomly thrown in there with some more stupid ellipsis? Your OC'd are as boring and bland as your writing, (not to mention mainstream as fuck) but they aren't the worst I've seen.

Also, what the hell is with the amount of ellipsis?

NNNNNOOOO THIS CANT BE THE LAST CHAPTER. IT WAS GOING SO WELL!

Holy cow. This story is perfection in the finest. Plus you barely have any grammar mistakes! oh and if you could pm me thst would be spectacular.

Wow! Really good story!

I think you may want to rephrase some of your sentences. How can a glare be daggered and how can you catch a glare?

'Well, since everything is set, shall we be off?' I don't know which form of sentence you like better. Yours or mine.

Instead of 'Nathan caught the gaze of Makey', try describing 'Makey snuck a glance at Nathan.' and then 'Nathan caught Makey's eyes before he could look away.' Something like that.

What about instead of putting that Kade 'head some info that the boss of this level is about 9 or 10 miles East by North East', you could put 'I have picked up on conversation about the boss of this level. As it just so turns out, he/she is located about 9 or 10 miles North East'. You could also use words like 'unanimous source' or 'source' or 'sources'.

'he stopped and stood at Nathan's door and pondered the current situation.'

'I think I had my dose of excitement and theories for the night. I'm good for now. I'm going to hit the sack.'

'An overdose of excitement and theories is bad for the health. I've had more than enough. Now, I'm going to bed.'

'I have had my fill of excitement and theories. I'm all excitement-ed and theory-ed out. It's my bedtime.'

You could also put, 'Oh, Nathan, you wouldn't lie to me, would you?'

Instead of 'hollered', you could use words like 'commanded' or 'ordered'.

'Hey, I'm outside. I believe I see a member of the Laughing Coffin. It is a male about...' you could do like the people do in these shows with detectives, cops, supernatural beings, etc. The gender and age is reported to the higher ups. 'He appears to be watching my every motion and listening to my every word.' or you could use 'spying'.

What was that other term? Lurking, was it? Someone is lurking around or sneaking around or cowardly hiding out and waiting for the victim to let down his/her guard. Stealth is another good word to use.

Words for angry... peeved, livid.

'Vin burst out laughing, waking everyone else up and in just a matter of minutes, everyone was ready to go back out to the frontlines. Each individual was ready to start clearing the path once more in order to reach the end.' Something like that.

Wow. I like how you displayed Sam's emotions.

Again, you used 'busted'. It is supposed to be 'burst'. You don't 'busted' out laughing. You 'burst' out laughing.

Other phrases to use instead of 'burst out laughing'... 'broke into a fit of laughter'

Useful words... 'amused', 'charming', 'bemused'...

More useful phrases/words... 'contagious laughter', 'peals of laughter' 'uncontrollable laughing fit' 'uncontrollable fit of laughter'.

He/she was on the brink of tears, he/she was laughing so much. "Ow...my ribs..." or "Ow...now my stomach hurts." or "Oh, wow. My cheeks really ache from smiling and laughing so much."

'laughter from the bottom of his/her heart' 'laugh heartily' 'genuine laughter'.

Sorry if you have already thought of all this.

Wow! Good job at building the intensity!

What is with the '...' constantly? How about some '.', or '!' or '?'

Instead of 'backed off', you could try 'retreated' or 'stepped aside' or 'got out of the way' or 'fell back'.

You put 'shopkeep' instead of 'shopkeeper'.

What is 'sleeked'?

Why is the shopkeeper called 'keep'?

Be careful with your 'to' and 'too'. 'And I really wanted that mask, too!'

More words that may come in handy... jest, banter, gibe.