Gu

Really sorry to say, but please get a beta reader before writing a fic. The script format does not work, yes thats how it's writeen for actors on set, but not for people trying to read a story.

What the heck is this?

First of all, script format is just a pain in the ass to read. You say that that's how the show was written. Yes it was, but that's because the scripts are meant for actors, directors and crew to read so they can portray it on screen. Nobody reads scripts for enjoyment - people read story format, novel format, for their own enjoyment. So if you're writing a fanfic continuation, novel format is the way to go.

Now, I haven't read your previous work, and only got about 1/3 through the first chapter of this before I had to stop. The characters from the show are way out of character - and how they or any OCs speak: not how anyone in real life speaks. At all. I'm getting the impression from this that English isn't your first language. This is a terrible fic, I couldn't enjoy any of it. Try reading fics from really great authors to get a feel for what is good: TS Samuels, Veran, King Steve, JMHtheThird, DekardKain... these are all accomplished, talented writers. You might do well to read those stories and see what makes the difference between a good fic and a bad one - this story being the latter.

John Connor: After it rains, the sky always shows very beautiful atmosphere and bright sunlight. Somewhat like a new light of a new day. After every hard trouble gets pass us, we always meet beautiful clear things as worthy prizes. But what about my life? I still want a worthy prize. But until that day come, I have to get pass my rain of hell already.

Catherine: That can be both good and bad news. Bad that they don't come but good that they are gonna have two kids. So we should clap for them. Lets clap our hands for the Connors.

PF : Relax. Make your pure and enlighten your mind. Be ready to receive knowledge. Be conscious.

John: I think its better if you become another Buddha

Cameron: With anesthetic, I didn't feel anything much.

Emma Akagi: I have heard about that a lot from Stefan during a chat on Facebook. You both know future me as well.

.Brewster: Do I have to be afraid of you, bitch?

John: I think I really wanna meet my daughters

PF : We have talked, Ms. Connor. He doesn't want to get close to you too much. He doesn't wanna see you die again and he doesn't you to worry much about him.

Sarah: By cutting me off?

PF : Previous Sarah Reese died during the fight against the T-2000. Kyle absolutely couldn't help her. He saw her die. He never wants to see that and doesn't want to see that again. Now he's trying to work for our victory without you.

Sarah: Fucking plan. And if we can stop it tonight, everything you say won't happen anymore.

John: I think you should go. I and Mom will bomb this place. We'll destroy everything here. You should go down the basement to Skynet.

John: OH, I thank you for worrying. Its very usual for me. Most men are born to get bruises.

Cameron: And some women are born to care men's health. Does it hurt?

Sarah: Thought you might not wanna save my life

Kyle: I can't let you die anymore. Previous future Stefan talked with me. He was right. I shouldn't let you..

Sarah: No, I won't leave you. Lets go. Get up. You are a soldier. You have to stand up for me.

Kyle: I love you, Sarah. I know its not the right place and right time to say it but I really love you. I'm sorry for trying to get away from you. I just..

Sarah: No, Kyle, don't say too much. You have to live. Because..Because I..Cause I love you too.

GINYU: Hello Henry, I know you are here. I know you are around here. You know what? machines like you should be destroyed. You never bring the good to world. You just played toys. You never do anything.

Catherine: I already said. Everything I do, I do for you.

E. Boykins: Ashes to Ashes, dust to dust. Allison, Allison, you hear me? Its me, Stefan. Wake up please. Allison, its me. Open your eyes.

Allison: Stefan. OH! my love. I'm so happy you still alive.

John: Yes, I can. Nothing is more important than you. You can tell me whatever you want to do or eat. I'll try every way to indulge you. I love you.

Sarah: Very lucky that you were there when her water broke. But I have a question.

Sarah: So you want to ask me out for date.

Allison: I love you too. Tonight I really wanna love you. Please let me love you, Stefan.

E. Boykins: Both my soul and body belong to you

Let's go kick some metal ass

I loved this story especially at the part when Sarah reunited with John and everyone else

I have found some quotes in this chapter that I liked. I noticed there was a character that you named after me so thanks a lot lol.

Lucy Anny-Okay. Sacrifice for the greater good.

Old Woman: Damita Young. You can call me Dammy.

E. Boykins: You are hurting me. I'm sorry for his death.

Allison: You don't understand. Its painful.

Cameron: I'm sorry for your loss

John: My mom never wants me to cry for her. I just hope that I'll see my mom again.

E. Boykins: Many times I had tried to kill myself. But when I met you, I have been changed.

PF : You know what, Emma? Sometimes you were like my mother I would never have. Sometimes you were like my big sister I would never have.

PF Allison: I promise. I still love you anyway. I'll wait for you. I will always even it'll be very very long time. I won't love anyone else.

Kyle: Pain can be controlled

Allison: Please don't go anywhere else. I have only you now. You have taken care of me like dad. I lost him and never want to lose anybody else. Please stay with me making sure you are still alive all time.

Murch: Lets go. Today Thor was released. I know you like it much. I saw you read Thor comic book.

Jesse: I never bore the war. Its for the greater good of our people in the future but I am really not good to attack our friends.

Sarah: You are not her mother. Remember this, metal bitch.

Sarah: OK. Up to you. Supporting any bombs attack the world, I'll kill everyone in this room. I know how to kill you anyway. I ever did.

I loved this chapter, good job :)

I have found some quotes that I liked in this chapter.

Micky Sarkissian: OH, my love. This time I really wanna die. Please take care of everyone I love for me. Don't use your equipment to change my death because it'll change every right thing. I know how much you love me but please everything just happens in the name of nature and everything has to happen in the truth of life. Not even in another grandfather paradox. Sorry for not telling you about my cancer. It can't be cure anymore. Too late. I've chosen to live with you happily before I would die. Please be alive with Michael. Only him and you I love. Bye.

E. Boykins: She is gone. You have to live with it. I'm sorry, my friend. I know how its like to feel sad when love is gone.

Allison: For me and your kids. Noone is as brave as you. Noone is better than you and noone is sharper than you. You are always our hero.

Preecha: I'll live with you if I can, my son. I'll be both your father and mother. I love you very much. As much as I love your mother.

John: I have no quarrel with you. But she's my lady. You should be more respectful. She fought for every human and turned to be human for me.

Sarah: Please continue and don't stop until we climax

Maggie Moon: You helped me a lot. My family is dead because of the war. They became hypnoses. You always was like my real uncle. You were our good leader. You led us in the war against hypnoses. You sacrificed everything to win and with your last hope. You sent us both back to save both our lives and your heroes.

Kyle: Okay but we learn from the past. If we can't destroy everything about Skynet, all technologies will be the part of engineering for new Skynet. Free death.

John Henry: Yes, I need her. She's my mother.

I have found some quotes that I liked in this chapter.

Maggie Moon: Everyone has to die, Stefan. Its what happens.

Stefan Jr: I know. They have their long stories. At this point who will remember them excepting us.

Nelvin: Noone wants it happen, Stefan. Humans are gonna extinct. We can change it as well.

E. Boykins: I know. But its two days and nothing bad happens. I miss them. I wanna play with my kids when you aren't with me. They are my power.

Allison: I'll always be with you

Nelvin: If Cameron and John knew that I let this thing happen to would get out of their tombs and kill me themselves.

John: Yes, mom, dad. This was my plan to let you live together out there. I just wanna have a real family like others.

Kyle: I thank you for giving me a chance to have a family.

Marcus: I'm very sad, Claire. I want you here too but I couldn't take you back at this point. Its too late. Really too late. Its fruitless to cry more.

Everyone: Noone is ever safe

I found some quotes that I liked in this chapter. I liked the part when Kyle propsed to Sarah and they got married. I can't wait until they have a baby and give John a sibiling. They will be such one beautiful big happy family.

Maggie Moon: OH, you know the answer already because you read my mind. And you know that I love you.

Stefan JR: Come with me if you really wanna live

Allison: I don't wanna sleep. I wanna lie here with you and see your face all the time. I wanna see that you're still okay every second.

John Henry: My life is for the fate of human. This can destroy you and the psychics will destroy your children. I'm so proud of this.

: give me power.

Cameron: I don't want you to understand that I'm the best girl to you. Because of your love, you died in previous future. I was too selfish.

John: You're so beautiful. Not like Allison. You have different personalities. You are real for me, you will be forever.

Sarah: I think Kyle may like me much when I'm clean

Kyle: But I can say it now. My princess. You aren't too old for me. You're still a young woman. You a good fighter. You look like angel. Don't think you're too old or ugly. You are so beautiful for me.

E. Boykins: You are very beautiful. Thank you, Allison. I'll make you lunch.

Allison: Yeah. Your birthday. Happy birthday, Stefan.

All that I have to say is wow, great story once again. I loved the scenes with Sarah and Kyle, Stefan and Allison and John and Cameron.

I found a lot of quotes that I liked in the story.

: Time isn't what or who can wait. Its always hot-tempered. It doesn't know how to wait.

Sarah: Your story is long. Maybe it can be a good fiction.

PF Stefan: She'll come with me. She's my lucky charm.

Kyle: But you still male. Girl like Allison won't let anyone else see her womanhood.

Allison: I'm a good fighter. I know.

Debbie: Everybody's got a different story. Everybody wanna give their selves away but I'm still afraid.

PF Allison: I'm sorry for that, Stefan. I never think that you're dirty. I never think that you are disgusting. You're so gentle. I like or even love you.

Cameron: But we tried hard and always try hard. I'm not pregnant yet. I have my flow. But why now aren't we gonna have one of them as we want? I have seen that Stefan and Allison have two kids but we still don't have any children. Why, John?

Sarah: I think you should hug me, John

: We're all happy to see you here, aunt Sarah

Sarah: Kyle
Kyle: Sarah

I liked this story especially the parts with Stefan and Sarah plus Stefan and Allison plus John and Cameron. I found some quotes that I liked in the story. Please update this story in the near future.

The Engineer E. Boykins-We lost ones we love,

Sarah-Die here with the legend

Cameron: Time is the thing that never wait for us

: Mind can control everything. But my love is over my mind. I love you, Allison. We'll live together as long as we can.

John: Today is the day, Cameron. The day I never expected to see or even live for. I had always lived for my own idea and my own life. I had never thought of you. Anything about you never.

Cameron: I want the real sex

Kyle: Negative. I don't like hunting. I never want to kill living. Only bad machines I like to kill. You have anymore choices?

Allison: I'm sorry, mom, I'm so sorry. Its because of me. I'm a problem to everyone. Most of my people I loved have been always stricken because of me.

E. BOYKINS: Daughter is what I want. And this is daughter. Thanks to the ultrasound. Nevlin did it like
he's real doctor. He's very valuable to us.