So and that means...Ash will leave Angie for Misty or what?

I love Ash so much. He can be such a sweetheart.

I thought you captured well that bittersweet emotion of a one-sided love and the regret of not going for it. I especially liked your turn of phrase in describing memories running through her with "rushes of nostalgia at every twist and turn of the tracks" - great image. Though to make that metaphor stronger, I would suggest using a different verb than "crash" - something that suggests more "a movement through something" than something coming to an end or breaking through - a choice such as "barreling" or "careening", etc.

Nice choice of details in describing Angie and Ash at the beginning to really hammer home the awkwardness and heartache of the ride for Misty. The bit about "her fingers still obtrusively intertwined with his" was particularly effective for that.

I'm surprised that she didn't say anything when he took her phone though - too shocked to do so? And I wonder what drove him to do it.

That he left her a message through text on her own phone was cute, but I'm a bit disconcerted that he gave so little thought seemingly to how Angie would feel - it comes across as quite insensitive. I would've liked a bit more consideration for how hurt she'll be on both their parts, but I definitely shipped this pairing back when I watched Pokemon, so I'm happy for them. But poor Angie! Yeah she probably won't die of a heartbreak, but it still sucks to be dumped for another girl. Sweet ending though for Misty. It was a lovely choice to end it on the the warm thought that "She had finally made it home" in more ways than one.

Oohh… I feel ya here, just straight from the start, agh the most frustrating thing in the world to be in a situation like that. Hehe signs and signals, I dunno why, but that made me smile. I'm more surprised she doesn't say anything when he takes her phone (because you can see all those worries and thoughts in her head, so I'd assume she'd at least do of say -something-, yano? Like a "Hey" or a— anyway XD) I'm kinda glad to see Angie isn't completely bastardised and even seen as nice—since it just shows how human they [both] are; we just have a naturally jealous nature.

And he's a snooper. :P That's a really sweet note you left us off at. Overall, I really like that your characterisations were really round and cute for Misty, but I'm just curious if Ash is being serious or not because a playful nature does show here, so the question remains hanging. XD Thanks for the read! Cheers!

Tune

Lovely one-shot centered around my favorite Pokémon pairings! Yay for the original, the truth, that is Misty/Ash!

I loved your descriptions of Misty's feelings toward Ash, and how she felt about Angie since they (her and Ash) were currently dating. And yes, eight years is a long time...not counting a few season in the canon.

Lol for the Twitter and Facebook references; so that's what they got over there, eh?

And aww, Ash loves Misty! Well it's about time you tell her, and I'm glad that Angie will be fine through all of this. Loved the reference to the first encounter and rushing to the nearest hospital! Good old nostalgia!

In terms of SPAG, no mistakes were spotted, so nice work with that! Once again, I really enjoyed reading this fabulous one-shot! :)

Aww that was sweet, although it had an abrupt ending. And I feel like there's a lot more that needs to be explained with the whole Angie/Ash relationship but since this is a one shot I'll let it go XD Still, amazingly well written story :)

.For the Reviewathon.

I love how you've crammed so much characterisation in the first line. Already, we can tell that Misty is feeling distraught about something, and it's also enticing, since we want to find out why she's feeling that way as well. :) I love that she's sat in the train next to Ash and his girlfriend as well, since she's just got no choice but to look at him with another girl, and that's bound to make one horrificly jealous. XD [He was too busy staring out the window and stroking her hair with his free hand to notice the pained look on Misty's face.] I liked this line a lot, since it really shows how she wants his attention, but can't have it, because he's too busy focusing on another girl. Poor old Misty. :(

[Yet she'd refused to tell him.] I think your idea for the characterisation seems good here. I like how you've made her give him 'signs anf signals', as if she's expecting him to just notice her, since it seems realistic- I bet a lot of people would do that, just expect the attention. :P [be it a tender peck on the cheek or a kiss on the lips] It's good that you chose to word this so romantically, as it makes it seem even more sickening for Misty to have to watch.

[But he wasn't that nosy, right? He knew not to invade her private conversations…didn't he? ] I love how she's questioning herself about the man she loves here. Would he do such a thing? Maybe Misty's been too caught up in her love for him to ever think he might not be that trustworthy... Also, Chatter and Pokebook made me giggle. XD

Oh, so that's what he was doing- writing her a message? I would say it seemed sweet of him, but how could he love her when he clearly seemed to love Angie? I think that was just a white lie to make her feel better. I suppose Misty got what she wanted, though- she got him to notice her heartbreak, and at least he tried to make her feel better, I suppose. :)

I love how you've made her arrive home at the end. Home is an area of comfort, so it's kind of like she's comfortable now, knowing Ash noticed her.

I have no critique/suggestions for this piece. Keep up the good work! :D

So. Before I begin with this review I just thought I might get something out of the way first. I noticed that you said a similar situation happened to you in real life, so I just wanted to make sure that any concrit I put here isn't aimed at you personally or anything, but just sort of what I saw while reading through your fic based off of the characters you put forth here. Just figured I'd start with that to let you know I'm not trying to hurt your feelings or something, and I'm just talking about your fic here.

And wow, that was a great way to start things off. Now I probably sound like some super meany-butt head or something. xD

Anywho, it was an interesting AU. You definitely included some unique things in here, like the Ash and Angie pairing, which you don't see a lot of, and the little original things like the mention of Chatter and Pokébook. They were all pretty cool things to see.

You also did a really good job expressing Misty's thoughts and feelings in here. You did a very nice job not only getting into the thoughts and feelings of a character here but also presenting them in a rather nice fashion to the reader. There really was a ton of emotion put into this fic, and it just had a lot of life and feeling to it because of it.

I did think there were a few places in there where Misty was a bit overly dramatic. Now, I understand that it is a romance fic, and with the conflict you set up here there was bound to be some drama. Or actually, lots of drama. And for the most part, you did a nice job balancing it so it wasn't too over-the-top. But there were a few places where I sort of thought you crossed the line, like here for example:

"Every single conversation they'd ever had, every battle she'd ever watched, every time her mallet struck him upside the head; every single moment they'd shared together, all spent in vain."

Now, this line stuck out in particular for me mainly because of that last little bit about it all being spent in vain. I get that Misty is upset and feels like she's never going to be with Ash at this point, but to have her basically say that every moment she had ever spent with him was basically useless kind of was a bit much I thought, especially for Misty's character. Granted, this is coming from a teenage male, so you might want to take it with a grain of salt, haha.

The biggest thing that I thought was kind of out of place was the fact that Ash sort of took Misty's cell phone right out of her hands without asking for it and began going through it without her even protesting a bit to him. I mean, she knew that she had incriminating evidence in there saying she loved him even though he was with another girl, which in itself I would think is more than enough reason to at least protest him taking it. But then you even went so far as to mention how she thought that if Angie ever found out about her feelings for Ash, she would probably never see him again. Yeah, she might have dismissed her at that point because she was asleep, but if Ash knew, there was no guarantee he wouldn't spill the beans to Angie later. Threatened with not only being embarrassed by him learning her true feelings and with potentially never being able to really see him again, it just seems really kind of unrealistic to me that Misty wouldn't put up a fight.

That being said, I had mixed emotions about the ending. On the one hand, I couldn't help but feel like Ash sort of came off a bit jerk-ish. I mean, there he is with another girl asleep on top of him that he had been making out with all day long, and then he basically just goes and says she means nothing to him, which kind of ruins the moment for me a bit. But on the other hand, I think you ended on a very nice note. Besides the fact that it was a feel-good happy ending despite Ash's semi-jerkishness, the last paragraph you have here was probably one of the best in the entire fic. Not only did you once again doing a very nice job of expressing Misty's feelings rather simply and effectively to the reader, but the last line about making it home just packed a lot of feeling with the double meaning. It was really a great note to end on, so kudos to you for that.

So yeah. Overall, I thought there were some things that were a bit iffy in there, but it was still a very nice fic. You did a really nice job conveying Misty's emotions, and it was very well written to boot, which isn't something I can say about a lot of Pokemon fics, haha. Good job, and be sure to keep on writing! :)

[What a fool she'd been, thinking he'd finally come to notice the feelings she'd grown for him from day one. It would've saved her a whole lot of heartache; that was for sure. Rejection would've been easier to put up with than this tight-chested feeling of regret.] I've thought this so many times! And I'm lots of other people have to so we can relate to the way Misty is feeling in this. You've described it really well, too. And then there's Ash's obliviousness:
[She'd given more than enough signs and signals. But Ash didn't work quite that way; his obliviousness wouldn't allow it] Haha, typical boys!

[Or the contents of her stomach, for that matter.] this made me smile!

[Her stomach was in a billion knots, writhing and wriggling like a snake, and her heart was clattering against her ribs like a restless bird trapped in its cage] you really do have a way with words, especially here, and the flow you have is excellent!

[Chatter or Pokébook] loved this :)

There is one thing, there isn't much reason for Ash to suddenly take her phone from her and read her messages. It just seems rather forced. I haven't watched Pokemon in so long, so I dunno if this is something Ash would do. But yeah, that's all.

I really liked the [She had finally made it home.] bit at the end, I feel it could not only mean physically, but emotionally as well, that she's finally been acknowledged by Ash and that he's her home.

Lovely little one-shot, I really enjoyed it :)

While Misty and Ash are a cute pair, I sort of got attached to Angie in that Diamond and Pearl arc due to how similar they were. This is a lovely one-shot none the less, but I wish that there was just more of an expansion. I hoped to see more of Ash and Angie's relationship and how they got together because it feels so abrupt for Ash to give that text message. Plus, this is probably just me, there is only one text message shown when the title is in plural.

Ash's love confession just feels out of place as we have Misty all alone trying to understand what's going on. Why and how Ash realized Misty was the one he was meant to be with is so odd. I wish to have seen more interactions and scenes of Misty and Ash talking, and how Angie will be so cool with this relationship is weird. I assume that Angie understands that Ash belongs to someone else and she can move on, but I'm not sure. This is still a sweet rainy day fic where you cheer the heroine on for finding their loved one. Any girl who finds a boy going through their text messages is embarrassing and I'm glad you noticed that Ash isn't that type of guy.

All in all, a pretty nice fic. I hope to see more stories like these from you in the future.

Hi :) I don't know much about Pokemon except through the fanfics of others, but I thought I'd give this one a go anyway :) I tend to review by commenting on things as I find them, so even if something is mentioned first, it doesn't always follow that I thought it the most important thing :)

The first thing I noticed here was that there was no formatting that separated your A/N from your story proper, which made it a bit confusing for a few seconds and sort of derailed the beginning of your story. If this were mine I'd actually cut off the A/N altogether because I don't think any of it is crucial for understanding your story, but if you're not keen on deleting it, I'd consider putting it at the bottom with a line break to indicate that it's an A/N.

I really like the combination of, "discomfort and contempt", and later when you use "obtrusively" as well. Being a third-wheel sucks, especially when people insist on being all lovely-dovey. Yerk.

I'm probably missing something, but why didn't she yank her phone back when Ash took it? Anyone did that to me and I'd probably raise merry hell :) The word "conceivably" made me pause; I don't think it's precisely the word you want, though I know what you were trying to convey. Perhaps it might be worth reworking that sentence?

"Anything like the first..." I was a bit confused by that part... the first what?

Aww, happy fuzzy ending (I'm sorry to hear it wasn't so happy or fuzzy IRL.) Really enjoyed this little vignette, thank you for writing x

Yay for Pokemon stories!

Okay, so I didn't see any big things jump out at me, grammar-wise. Actually, none at all. But one thing I did notice, it's that you don't really show a difference between thoughts and regular text. Maybe add apostrophe's or quotes?

Chatter... Chatot. Smart!brains, yes. But I loved that part. I thought it was really clever to put Facebook/Pokebook and Twitter/Chatter on there. Add a sense of reality to it.

And the train... Magnet Train? It seems likely to me, since they're riding home, and the Magnet train goes to Kanto. Unless this is big time AU and they have trains going everywhere in Kanto now.

But, yes, I liked this story. I thought it was really cute, even with Ash being OOC. Kudos.

This was so sweet, I loved it so much. :)

- O.O

I like this character piece. Misty in love isn't something I really thought of before, but hey, happens to everyone. The sort of bygone jealousy of not having someone you've had feelings for while someone else has the HELL out of them is god damned frustrating. More often than not, you move on.

Which was why I was rightly uncomfortable with the ending. And he way you wrote it, it feels like I'm not supposed to be? Cause I am but I guess it fits, how Misty doesn't really give a damn because goddamnit Ash is all hers now, but still, that's fucked up that he did that to Angie as she peacefully slept on his side. Literally right in front of her. I almost wish there was more. Just so we can see how this plays out or falls apart. Cause if the moral of the story is 'who cares if your crush has to cheat on his long time partner and dump her while she's asleep right next to her if that means he's yours now,' then needless to say I'm not impressed. If you were playing that in sort of a satirical way (cause lord knows we have that feeling as then other half of longtime unrequited crushes- just get rid of him, damn it) then you did it well.

Nonetheless, a good read.

Ahh this was cute x) I don't see Ash as being quite the type to cheat/give up on Angie that quickly, so I guess that was a bit ooc imo, but I guess time changes people?

I think you captured Misty's nerves, apprehension, confusion, and conflicted feelings pretty well. Kudos, although I'm not sure if canon Ash would purposefully go through someone's phone like that. But sake of the story, right?

Not many (if any) grammatical errors, so that's good. :)

-Apheleia

(and also... this happened to you? mind just went /explosion)