Xd cool

I love this story so far. Please don't take it down. Ya there is time it makes no seances but it still good to me.

it makes sense, the chapters just seem to miss a couple of points between them but I have been enjoying this fan fic

You should continue it, if for no other reason then to improve upon your skills

I like the whole plot with mai as an angel and a I don't like all these other different characters. I think you should continue with this idea but start over again. The chapters and story do not make sense. I believe that you could write better if you keep the plot idea, with some changes, and make a better story. Work on your punctuation a little bit and the story process and you should do fine. Try again and Im sure that it will be wonderful.

* ' * •. . • *' * •. . • * ' * •. . • *' * •. . •

::: (\ _ (\ ... * ... * ... * ... * ... * ... * ... * ... * ... * ... * .. . * ... *

*: ( ':') :::::::: So Cool! :::::::::::

• .. (, ('') ('') ... * ... * ... * ... * ... * ... * ... * ... * ... * ... * ... *

. • * ' * •. . • *' * •. . • * ' * •. . • *' * •.

I love it. Update soon please!

I'm not trying to knock you down but, you can do better.

Don't even know what to say about this... You're fully aware you're a bad writer, and yet you do nothing to fix it. At least run spell check if nothing else. To have this many mistakes and words that run together.. You could fix that easily with spell check, to not do so is pure laziness.

The characters make no sense, Mai went from being semi normal, albeit whiny and annoying, to evil and sadistic, to a weird mix of the two. You have random characters with no background who are apparently important although you don't say why other then they are immortals.

To me the story is rambling and makes no sense, add in your spelling mistakes and the odd words that are just wrong... I want the time it took to read this hoping it would get better back.

Who ever your editor is, is obviously asleep or just doesn't care. Stop being lazy, pay attention to what you write, try and use correct words, write out a structure so the story makes sense, and if you really can't spell then for the love of good use spell check.

Hmm. I'm somewhat confused in the flow of your story. Hehe.

Keep goin this is the best ghost hunt story I've read

Ermm Im not gonna hit you with a bat so dont worry

All ive got to say is that your story is a bit short I really liked your story but..

Is it ok for me to tell this well it lacks imagination you need to put a little more describings to the characters even if the others hate it you should continue doing it

Btw I can be your editor if you want ;D

Hey I wasn't being a troll or anything, It's a good storyline, I was just saying that it's not the characters of ghost hunt anymore, it's like you've made your own story (in a good way in case there are some overly sensitive people .) and i was just saying that seeming as you've pretty much made your own story you could upload it onto fictionpress as a different title because it's not ghosthunt besides the fact you've used their names, geez if people don't get that then it's annoying.

wow ... one bad thing ... it was sort T.T other than that it was good 3 but it was kinda strange that Naru , or aka Oliver and the brown haired boy was named Oliver as well and no one said anything about it ... and i dont mind helping being a editor if u want , since all i got is pic's deadlines , so i have lot of freetime X3

Damn I want to know what happened to Mai. This is really good so far I like that Mai isn't the sweet innocent one and has a dark side :)