Oh God, Marina, welcome back and this chapter needs more reviews ;) I'm so sorry for the delay in reviewing. I last saw this fic a good six years ago so had to reread to bring myself up to speed! Thank you for coming back to this fic. It's wonderful and deserves to be finished...

I like the confused staccato of the first few lines, though it's a bit of a jolt having to readjust to the tense changes. I'm not sure how you'd go about remedying it, though, as I don't know if those lines would work in past tense…
Given how you've already depicted the wonderful Zara, who is one of the greatest OC's I've ever read, I love that it's ambiguous as to whether her hitting the wall was a warning shot or just a lousy shot ;) Bless her. She's so real.
[Zara was hurting…] Given how much I love Zara and how well you've depicted her chronic pain, I did feel a little shortchanged in this paragraph because I wanted MORE… more about her pain from the inside, more about what she's doing to Erik from her own perspective. You could really punch it up here :) In short: MORE ZARA PLEASE.
I love that exchange about whether it would be right to tell Zara that she is safe to placate her, or to tell her the truth (and also placate her). Your moral conundrums in this fic have consistently been the best.
"I'm really tired and I hurt…" I love her, Marina. I'm sorry to gush rather than to give constructive criticism but I really do love her. She gets tired and she hurts and she sucks with guns and she cries even when it's inconvenient and she falls over sometimes and she gets hungry. PLEASE transplant her into an original work, because the world needs to see her and pay you for the privilege!

Some boring SPaG:

[… hands on Erik, and] No need for the comma here.
[away, and waited] Nor here.
[bleeding, and Zara took a breath, as she] I don't think you need either of the commas here, though you could get away with keeping the one after 'bleeding', OR you could write it as "bleeding, and Zara took a breath, looking back and forth at both of them."
[away, and waited] I don't think the comma is needed here, but it would be if you'd written "Charles watched him turn away, waiting to see what would happen to him next."]

Welcome back. You have been so very, very missed. xx

Hi, Marina
Excellent chapter. Zara has a new level of power and contentment, and Charles and Erik found a new level of passion. Love the hard, metallic kiss-unique and evocative. The description of their...activity... was subtle but still hot. Also liked the line about Zara taking the bread with her. It was phrased well to suggest her new-found control.
One thing to watch for is less active subject and verbs, such as 'She saw' or 'he felt'. You have more show than tell with something like, "Her mouth watered at the sight of the bread on the table..."
I hope I explained that well enough. I'm out of practice on reviews, but good to see another update from you.

The beginning of this chapter hooked me right in from the first few sentences. Erik is not taking Zara’s confession to heart, that Charles has feelings for him. Zara has a way to show Erik, and that’s through the ring. You did a fantastic job describing that scene in only a few key sentences.

Charles, in his conversation with Hank, wants to go back to the Cerebro, and this is where Hank describes it as being a long process, “like building muscle.” You did fantastic using that iteration to describe what goes on during such an intense process.

We now see Erik taking in the pictures from Zara’s memory. And he doesn’t want to hear it after some certain time. The rage he has against Zara bubbles over as he threatens to strangle her if she is found lying. Here, you did amazing building the tension from within – Erik doesn’t want to admit anything, and Zara is terrified of him not wanting to know. Excellent work capturing the raw emotions!

And then the ending – it comes out, Zara is in love with Erik in a similar way that Charles is. He still doesn’t want to hear it and Zara has had enough at this point, lashing out and throwing profanities at him. The last sentence brings it all in nicely; wonderful imagery you were able to paint.

Overall, this was a well-done chapter capturing the raw emotions of Erik and Zara, and we see progress by Charles within the Cerebro. I cannot wait to see what the next chapter has in store!

That is so epic! the emotion and the drama OO

Oh my gosh! You've updated! I can't wait for the next chapter!

I have honestly loved this fan fiction since I first saw it 5 years ago. It was so well developed and just amazing. I am so glad that I checked this website all these years later to see if you kept adding to it. I am probably going to have to reread it to refresh my memory but am ever happy to do it.

Thank you for your awesome writing!

I really liked this until the whole Charles love Erik crap. What is that about? I've always seen them two as brothers not lovers. Also how does Zara fit into this? What is it just going to be a 3 person couple? Ermm no thanks bye.

In the words of wise Master Kenobi, “Now that’s a story I’ve not heard in a long time.”

This chapter has an interesting opening. Hank is realizing how hindsight is 20/20. I assume what he saw there was Azazel which is never a good thing. It’s such a lesson though. Being careful what you wish for is never learned until you’ve passed that point.

Erik’s conflict when it comes to Zara is interesting. It makes me wonder where his growth is going. Sure, he resolves to lock her up later, but there is question as to what he really wants to do. It seems more like a jealousy factor though. I was a tad confused about why Emma tried to attack him.

Charles and Erik’s confrontation looks like it’ll heat up the next chapter. I do like that they have to face each other again. It looks like there’s a lot to be said even if those words never come out.

Sara id's really glue for them. She understands then better than they do themselves. The poetry adds beautiful to the tension in the beginning. Glad to read you again, Marina

Review from Writers Anonymous - some familiarity with X-Men (some comics, one or two of the movies)

"Professor Xavier always felt a sense of anticipation when a new mutant arrived at the school. For most of them, this was the first place where they would feel truly accepted." - This story started off with a very in character Xavier, establishing his desire to make students feel accepted and intellectual wish to anticipate and imagine what the new mutant will be able to do and become.

"The children needed a new experience, and she was one of the most qualified available to teach them this." - You established an intriguing mystery with this character, stating she was unaware of her powers (even while voluntarily walking into a mutant school) and yet having a very particular and mysterious experience. One mystery that I wanted to read on and find out more about was how Zara came to have a positive attitude toward mutants and agree to work in such a school.

"He could see the curve of her smile as she watched." - Early establishment of Charles/OC shipping here, focusing in on a personal gesture.

Ms. Reilly is a drama teacher! Combining Shakespeare with the X-Men sounds interesting, with so many possible connections between the two source materials.

"She could walk slowly if she needed to, move in the way that caused her the least pain." - Coming to this line made me theorise that Zara has a medical condition, feeling considerable pain but developing strategies to get through the day. Or perhaps the pain is part of her power. I thought it would be intriguing if she had both a medical condition that caused her pain and a second, unrelated superpower.

"She had her own bathroom and windows that looked over rolling green hills and a tiny sliver of lake in the distance." - Good description of the X-Men estate.

"The furnishings were luxurious." - Reading this line made me want to ask the question 'how' - are the furnishings comfortable and cozy, or beautiful like museum pieces you can't actually sit on in case of damaging them? Are they so luxurious as to be intimidating, or do they show signs of a considerate, detail-oriented choice that was carefully planned for a teacher's comfort? I felt like this description could have been added to provide more concrete detail and a stronger image.

"He knew Shakespeare, he knew books. Of course he does, you idiot, Zara muttered to herself. He's THE Professor, for God's sake." - That's definitely Xavier!

"You have two different editions of Shakespeare's complete works?" - I feel like this line was meant to make the audience feel more impressed with Zara than it does. As she points out in the second line, having multiple Shakespeare editions is normal and having two is on the low end for a professional Shakespeare teacher. But Xavier's next line is "This is wonderful. We must continue this conversation", even though it's not particularly wonderful and Zara hasn't shown any extraordinary Shakespeare skills yet.

""I will see you at breakfast in the morning," he called back, half-friendly and half-commanding." - I liked how you described this attitude; Xavier can be heavy-handed as well as benevolent. Your Charles point of view read well, talking about his powers and showing his analytical nature, desire to earn trust and desire to be responsible.

"Pain. Like a nail gun through the wrist; an ache in the neck. Careful, don't lift that with just one hand-" - Another interesting flash of Zara's painful issue.

"I've never heard that one before...but it actually sounds like Hank." - Although I don't think Xavier has every Shakespeare play memorised, given his status in the X-verse as a near universal genius I would be very surprised if he hadn't seen or read the Winter's Tale before. To me, this was along the lines of 'Xavier is more impressed than he ought to be' again. It's not that I think Xavier doesn't need a drama teacher at his school - he does; drama and Shakespeare are excellent subjects to learn and Xavier doesn't know everything and can't do anything. But as yet in the story I haven't seen Zara show any unusually brilliant understanding of Shakespeare or aptitude for drama teaching. Maybe slowing the pace and actually showing her teach a lesson with the students (I'd love to read Ororo's reaction to some Shakespeare plays!) would help the audience see why she's a talented teacher and what unique traits she brings to the table.

"They had enjoyed several fascinating conversations about Shakespeare and theatre." - It's very hard to write hyperintelligent characters; I think taking the 'tell not show' approach through this sentence was wise.

"Her mutation was attacking her." - Ah, mystery solved; so Zara's illness is indeed part of her superpower. What that superpower is, of course, remains a mystery!

"Those like Raven...he closed his eyes as her face flashed in his mind..." - Is this a crossover with the DC universe?

"They first had to understand why she had constructed them in the first place. For now, Charles moved carefully around the shields and allowed images from her mind to speak to him." - It sounds like Charles has decided to breach Zara's trust, invading her mind and attempting to heal and understand her without first talking to her and getting her permission.

"Her body was in a constant state of emergency, though she hid it brilliantly. Something was trying to make itself known to her and she wouldn't listen, so it had resorted to gaining her attention through pain and distress, like a child inviting punishment." - This description strongly conveyed Zara's nature and the pain she feels, and the characteristic compassion Xavier feels in response to that. You chose a strong point to end the chapter with Xavier's detailed description of Zara's state and his response to it.

Interesting first chapter! I think your Xavier characterisation is very strong, and bringing an OC to teach the young X-Men Shakespeare is certainly a promising premise. You've laid the plot hook of Zara's power that causes her pain here, though you haven't added any other possible plot hooks such as greater villains out to find Zara. I think the pace of this could have been slowed down, such as spreading these developments across multiple chapters and actually showing Zara teaching and building relationships with the students. I don't know if you're planning to bring some X-villains into the picture or if the story's going to concentrate on the romantic relationship, but introducing some bad guys early as well would add more suspense. Your writing style is easy to understand; occasionally it's a little bare of description. This was an intriguing beginning that brought the original character into the X-world.

Hope this review helps!

Hi, here again from review tag. I like that Charles sits down and talks to Zara about the kids' mutations here, since that not being addressed in the first chapter really confused me. It does make me wonder why he didn't bring this up with her before she started teaching, though. This fandom has so many anti-mutant antagonists - if Charles didn't say anything about mutants to Zara beforehand, how did he know she didn't share those views?

This chapter is obviously very talky, and while that's not inherently bad, a lot of their dialogue sounds pretty cordial, and after a while it gets a little unrealistic. I think it might help them sound less rehearsed if they falter or misspeak a few times.

I like that we get a little of Zara's backstory with her mutation here, but since it is just a little. She still feels like a pretty undeveloped OC, and I don't think there's been enough investment in her as one of the main characters expected to carry this story. I think it would help if this story opened up beyond her and Charles (seeing Zara interact with other teachers and students would be an opportunity to show-not-tell a lot about her), but even the references to the people around them are extremely vague ("the children," "my work"). It's almost starting to feel like Charles and Zara are living in a vacuum.

Down with Critics United!

They are the cancer to our society.

The root of heresy needs to be burnt to crisp

with over thousand innocent souls without remorse or guilt thereafter.

No sacrifice is too great and no treachery too small.

Remember, we all are walking under the immortal shadow of Him.

His light shines so brightly, it will guide us to our foreseen destiny that is in our grasp.

A great moment we all should not pass.

Praise Be The Emperor of Mankind!

If you are on the same page, cp this message.

And Bella119 is dumb.

Hybrid of Fate is nothing. She needs mental help.

cathrl, do u want to be my daddy? I won't promise to be a good girl :D

CrystalRei should quit.

Now onto the actual review:
"Very well. This is a beautiful school. I'm enjoying every minute."

The devout Christian persists in his belief. T-T

Down with Critics United!

They are the cancer to our society.

The root of heresy needs to be burnt to crisp

with over thousand innocent souls without remorse or guilt thereafter.

No sacrifice is too great and no treachery too small.

Remember, we all are walking under the immortal shadow of Him.

His light shines so brightly, it will guide us to our foreseen destiny that is in our grasp.

A great moment we all should not pass.

Praise Be The Emperor of Mankind!

If you are on the same page, cp this message.

And Bella119 is dumb.

Hybrid of Fate is nothing. She needs mental help.

cathrl, do u want to be my daddy? I won't promise to be a good girl :D

CrystalRei should quit.

Now onto the actual review:
She smiled back at him. "Whatever it takes, Professor."

Tom plotted to destroy the project. :D

Down with Critics United!

They are the cancer to our society.

The root of heresy needs to be burnt to crisp

with over thousand innocent souls without remorse or guilt thereafter.

No sacrifice is too great and no treachery too small.

Remember, we all are walking under the immortal shadow of Him.

His light shines so brightly, it will guide us to our foreseen destiny that is in our grasp.

A great moment we all should not pass.

Praise Be The Emperor of Mankind!

If you are on the same page, cp this message.

And Bella119 is dumb.

Hybrid of Fate is nothing. She needs mental help.

cathrl, do u want to be my daddy? I won't promise to be a good girl :D

CrystalRei should quit.

Now onto the actual review:
"Of course. You did quite well today. Ororo is especially excited." He turned and began walking down the hall. "I will see you at breakfast in the morning," he called back, half-friendly and half-commanding.

In present day Japan, "alchemy" is only used metaphorically; to refer to improper means of making money by politicians or religious hucksters with no morals or shame. T-T

Down with Critics United!

They are the cancer to our society.

The root of heresy needs to be burnt to crisp

with over thousand innocent souls without remorse or guilt thereafter.

No sacrifice is too great and no treachery too small.

Remember, we all are walking under the immortal shadow of Him.

His light shines so brightly, it will guide us to our foreseen destiny that is in our grasp.

A great moment we all should not pass.

Praise Be The Emperor of Mankind!

If you are on the same page, cp this message.

And Bella119 is dumb.

Hybrid of Fate is nothing. She needs mental help.

cathrl, do u want to be my daddy? I won't promise to be a good girl :D

CrystalRei should quit.

Now onto the actual review:
"Hello, Professor."

Tom has come up with a possible solution. ;P;