So that just happened...

This is the part where I get very worried

This is going entirely too well

Holy shit this is a good fanfic. But why you no update? I NEED MORE! Please? Come on... You know you want too. Please? JUST DO IT!

I would have reviewed this a year ago, if not for retirement and the 4 surgeries leading up to it.

First, yay on divergence! That is one of the things fanfiction is for; going where the original material couldn't, wouldn't or didn't. You handled Yoshika and Lynn excellently in the beginning, with their different reasons for tripping over their own hormones. The hints of darkness in Lynn's past jibes much better with her behavior traits than just being uber-shy and intimidated. It adds conflict, motivation, and texture. I like that you worked in the more non-het acceptance as just a part of this world; after all, it may be based on this one, but it isn't this one. You did a good job in working Lynn's issues into the story in an organic way. The fear of adult men (which wouldn't show until she was around some), they 'I'm not good enough' showing itself in numerous ways. The fact that it took getting her out of her comfort zone before things began to break free and move forward for her. Sharing her special place, helping save the boy, being the one who moved them beyond 'good friends', it was all well balanced. The later scenes, the tenderness, the empathy, the rage, the solid right cross, all of it fit the character as written and the situation. Nothing felt forced.
Yoshika was also well written. Things got interesting when she nearly lost her life. Before that, Yoshika Miyafuji was pretty much as she was in the series; just a bit more sure of her own sexuality. But on the island... There we see how human she is. The scene when Lynn found her was suitably horrific for anyone with an imagination. Being only able to verbalize in her native tongue was evil icing on that cake.
Shirley was, imho, perfect. Whenever they weren't playing her for humor, she had a set of the biggest brass ovaries in the unit. The clash of defense mechanisms between her and Barkhorn was subtle and accurate (despite their claims, Shirley hides behind the laid back horndog routine, just as Barkhorn hides behind patriotic fervor).
Lucchini was her usual hyper self. Nuff Said.

The developed storyline is both balanced and believable in the context of the SW universe. Using Josef Mengele as the brains of the MAGI program was inspired; few figures in history would be so readily believable in that role. Continuing with the 'we don't really know what we're doing, but it's still Power!' theme fits. The back story of the 501st worked well.

The battle scenes are excellent, and the in process showdown is well assembled. Having Lynn's father present really adds to my anticipation (having seen the Strike Witch manga, and knowing a Witch can go 'feral', really makes one hope that Ms Bishop does so; nothing is nastier in dealing with issues than a cat is, and no one deserves to be hunted like Lord Bishop of Glys does...), and the coming together of forces gives a nice sense of destiny. And Lucchini deserved the first MAGI kill; between Vince, Shirley, Yoshika, Lynn, and the deaths of the MAGUS pilots, she needed some payback. Shirley will handle the payback for Bill and Lt Hughes more up close and personally. Hopefully, this tale will continue, as there is so much left to be told. All in all, well worth the read and the wait...

I really liked it, but are you ever going to finish? I'm sure I'm not the only one who was a bit disappointed it isn't finished.

Please. Don't torture us. Update this. Please. It's been half a year. And I need my SW story fix. Because you're good at this, and YoshikaxLynne is freaking awesome and cute and I need more. Update this, man.

Stay frosty, CJ

Wow, I just read this from start to finish. The feels. Amazing. Please keep writing! _

First off let me say how overjoyed I was to learn of a new chapter and you did not disappoint!

The way you set up the scene was wonderful, it really had me routing for our side that much more and the opening segment with Yoshika was emotional and well written, which was to be expect was it not?

The dog fights and the interactions between the characters were as wonderful as ever and brought a genuine smile to my face every time the interacted with one another. And it really did eat at me the way Elia went down at first, because I wasn't at all sure if she was gonna make it; thank all things good and holy she did otherwise I would have cried...

The arrivel of the 503rd was also well liked on my part and I wish more media was given to the other units more often. Over it was a beautifully and wonderfully written chapter that had me on the edge of my seat, physically and emotions, the whole way through.

Well done my friend, and wonderus job!

...

Oh you didn't think I could finish without saying how much I hate the guy from his first word now did you? You know how when some people get super mega angry they get that creepy Yandere smile going... Yeah that look is now plastered to my face. I dang near lost it when he mentioned her taste, like I feel like I should break something off inside his head; however, I'd probably be robbing our favorite raccoon dog of the pleasure.

There are charters you hate, then there are characters you love to hate, then there are characters you want skin and light on fire... Following twenty seven levels of increasing severity you will perhaps find this guy, if he isn't even further down then that!

Awe :) I'm loving this fic everytime I read it can't wait for the next chapter

Mother of God...Request permission to destroy Lord Bishop.

What a tough battle so far. I'm happy to see that Miyafuji has snapped out of her funk and is now fighting. That being said I am curious as to know how the Neroui was able to specifically target the area's in Miyafuji's brain to simulate her being violated. I'm pretty sure that Neroui are aliens and would be unaware of something like this but then again who knows? Maybe the Neroui are inherently able to absorb the mental processes of other living beings and are capable of understanding them in an instant (kind of like Martian Man Hunter from DC).

Lord William Bishop is a perverted man through and through. I enjoyed reading his passage. It's always nice to get into the mind of the perpetrator, so to speak. That and the fact that he can relate to that psychopath, Doctor Menelge. Honestly I hope he gets blasted to atoms. A man like him is far too dangerous to keep alive. Though a sick part of me hopes that you write an alternate ending where the bad guys win and you have Lord Bishop take possession of both Miyafuji and his daughter and have himself a little harem. But no...I wish only Lord Bishop a most painful death.

Overall this was a very good chapter and well worth the wait. Full of action and a good bridge leading to the end. I look forward to your next entry. Keep up the good work :D

Holy crap. You actually updated. I'm so happy. I almost thought this might go on hiatus. I have to say, you did a very good job on this fanfic and regret not dropping a review earlier (sorry sometimes too lazy to log in). I'm impressed with action and how you displayed Yoshika getting her senses back. Keep up the great work and hopefully update again soon.

That was intense. From the internal battles Yoshika is fighting to the commander's perspective, and the fighter's perspective you have pretty much everything covered. The different perspectives really helped form a clear picture of the overall situation. Poor Elia, she would have been a great asset for the rest of the battle, but in her position I would have done the same thing.

Looks like Vince also found a way into the action too, good ol' country boys can't ever stay down for long. I hope he gets a shot at one of the leaders so he can get some sort of closure for his two partners. Also with Lucchini there for him to team up with they're ready to show what the younger people are capable of.

Yoshika is doing everything she can, and it seems like each new action she takes is a large step towards her recovery. I can't imagine how much she must hurt after her experience, but she's moving on for the sake of all of her friends, and what she believes in. There's not really a better reason to become stronger than that. I think when everything is over, she'll be a stronger person for her experience.

Lynne is no doubt worrying over hearing about Yoshika, but she'll get her head on straight for sure once she sees how her "Wife" is doing back on deck. I think after their small reprieve Lynne will be much more able to focus on the fighting.

Also, Shirley had better get a promotion for all the crap she's been through on this trip, she deserves it. Some easy PR tour this turned out to be.

All in all this is shaping up for one epic last battle, but it looks like everything you've mentioned throughout the whole story is all coming together at once really nicely. As always, I'm always looking forward to more.

Glad to see this back and I look forward to more

Wow man another exciting chapter dude and yeah William is how do you say rather squicky to say the least he does realize who Lynne is rght? Oh well of course he does I am sure he considers that part of the fun. Anywho some quick facts I think I found this on the wiki but Eila is able to see exactly 2 seconds into the future during combat, hmmm oh yes well even though it hasn't really been covered yet most tank witches are actually on the eastern front in Orussia and actually any witch is able to use a striker unit air or land based they just need to be trained to do so. Anyways this was a great chapter well wourth the wait till next time and continue to do the yuri (and plz plz plzzzzz do a MioXMinna pairing in this story :) )