UPDATEupdateUPDATEupdateUPDATEupdateUPDATEupdateUPDATEupdateUPDATEupdateUPDATEupdateUPDATEupdateUPDATEupdateUPDATEupdateUPDATEupdateUPDATEupdateUPDATEupdateUPDATEupdateUPDATEupdateUPDATEupdateUPDATEupdateUPDATEupdateUPDATEupdateUPDATEupdateUPDATEupdateUPDATEupdateUPDATEupdateUPDATEupdateUPDATEupdateUPDATEupdateUPDATEupdateUPDATEupdateUPDATEupdateUPDATEupdateUPDATEupdateUPDATEupdateUPDATEupdateUPDATEupdateUPDATEupdateUPDATEupdateUPDATEupdateUPDATEupdateUPDATEupdateUPDATEupdateUPDATEupdate

wow.

WHY IS IT SO LONG?!

You couldn't have made it into chapters?!

Terrible. Not even worth saying more.

What in the iron tits of a seven armed space hooker is this pile. It's entirely unreadable. It reads like it was written by a drunk toddler who had never even heard English before.

Dafuq did I just read?

This is the worst story I have EVER EVER came across and I have read more MARY SUES than you have read fanfiction, this is worse than CUPCAKES, AGONY IN PINK, CALABRIAN AND THAT SORRY EXCUSE OF A MIND-FU*K My Immortal ...I hope you know that you have fu*ked up my day. Sincerly yours and all other readers who have read... this travesty against all that is right, just, fair, equal and Natural

$(_)} you

Oh jesus, I'm sorry. I tried reading it, but I just couldn't!

There are people with dyslexia that can spell better than you

Really? I would have to say that you must of did this as a joke because no one could spell that horribly. You rush through a lot of parts and your grammar is horrendous. It has all the direction of someone with intense ADD. This one needs a lot of work in order to be readable. And most of your original ideas are ridiculous.

love it
it was really good becuz of the scenes in it
love it

Gah, this is so poorly written I don't even have words for it.

You gave me eye cancer. But not joking when I say reading this gave me indigestion and a headache.

Go back to school

Please use spell check. I can't read half of your story easily and it is a pain in the ass to decipher nearly every sentence.