Nice, an update! I've already said some of my thoughts on this chapter in my PM to you, but I'll note a few others that have come to me. :)

I liked the banter among the Chosen adults; I think you have a talent for weaving plot important information into casual conversations and adding humor to it to prevent it from being a boring exposition dump. "The Queen of a country asked the time traveler" stood out as a pretty good line in particular. I still have yet to read the prequels, but I got a better idea of the backstory thanks to this conversation as well.

I like these references to events that took place in the past too, like the coup and the Happy Happyist cult. Feels like natural conversation for a group of superheroes.

My opinion that you have an unusually high number of action scenes persists; that said, I didn't think this one was bad. Even "Ghost" has opponents that can't easily be vanquished on his own, and it's good to see him use teamwork with the rest of the kids. Though I'm a little confused; I thought he was planning to reveal his identity to the others at the sleepover, along with information about his nature. I guess he didn't get the chance to before these assassins attacked? It makes sense he'd have to disguise himself to defeat them. The miscommunication with Talia also felt realistic, given the circumstances.

Ninten ex machina! There is something viscerally satisfying about seeing a tough mean dude get taken down so easily after putting up such a fight. And now Ninten has recognized "Ghost" as well...perhaps this'll lead to some interesting developments! I must wonder what these assassins were here for as well, Luke may or may not be correct in his assumptions.

Looking forward to the next chapter!

NINTEN TO THE RESCUE
things are heating up even further I see! Thank u for posting this chapter, it was awesomeee

Another update! Thank you I love it and I hope the kids and Luke stay safe next chapter oh no

I've seen your stories pop up on the site before, but I don't read fanfics that often, so I do have to say I avoided yours because of the typos/formatting problems. Anyway, I was bored (COVID-19 and global warming making my life hell right now), so I decided I'd take a look at this one. I did add your stories to favorites as potential reading material a while back.

I've read every chapter of this so far, although not the prequels (you've written over 400,000 words for this series!), so keep in mind my perspective is not completely informed. It's easy enough to grasp the basic premise, though - Lucas being Giegue and the main protagonists being best friends forever, having a connection through time, which I don't recall seeing done before (you seem to consistently misspell it as Gigue for some reason -the official localization of Earthbound Beginnings has an e in the middle).

As a reader, I have both positive and negative feedback. You don't have a lot of reviews - the fandom here is not very large, I think - so I thought I'd give you one, even if it may not be entirely to your liking.

Good things: The story held my interest throughout, which is actually harder than it may sound as I lose interest quickly if I find a story dull. I was intrigued by your premise, and "Ghost"'s character development is the most interesting part, watching his journey/struggles as he comes to terms with his humanity and learns about the shadows of his past. I enjoy the worldbuilding and your subtle political commentary at moments made me smile.

Also, I'm not sure if this is just because I haven't read the prequels, but it's an interesting challenge to try to figure out what's going on in your version of Earthbound, and it's fun to observe the tensions between different characters with different levels of information - the dynamics between Ness and Ninten in this chapter were a good example of this. Obviously, they're going to find out the truth sooner or later, and I don't think they're going to be happy with Jeff...

There were a few funny moments that made me smile or laugh - probably my favorite was Luke's line when interrogating "Spark" about "you eccentric types" with contact information.

I like the emotional moments in your story - generally the moments where Luke experiences character development and bonds with the other characters. They tug at me emotionally, and it's heartwarming to read. Ness and Ninten had a strong moment in this most recent chapter as well.

You say you aspire to be a writer - have you considered becoming a children's author? I feel like you could do a good job at that, you seem to have a knack for the kind of emotional moments you would see a lot in a children's book (elementary/middle school age). And EarthBound despite its cult classic status was originally a kids' game, after all - you seem to enjoy it a lot judging by the sheer amount you've written.

Could use improvement: There are some inconsistencies. I'm a little unclear on whether Luke is supposed to be a reincarnation of Lucas or just cloned using his DNA and some sufficiently advanced technology. If the latter, it's strange for him to have a memory of being Lucas - if the former, I feel the story misses potential in that it hasn't really explored the "reincarnation" thing a lot.

Luke's appearance not tipping off Ness and company as to his existence is likewise strange - in Chapter 1 he states he has a "timeless look". Ness later recognizes him(?) in their chase/combat scene, but doesn't say anything about it later on - you'd think he'd question Jeff - and doesn't seem to notice that Luke is a spitting image of Lucas. Plus, the name is a dead giveaway.

Characterization...this may be a bit harsh, but your characters - especially the ones that aren't the focus of the story - feel kind of simple (I think my past English teachers would call them "flat" as opposed to "round"). While you do have characters with secrets, emotional moments and interesting insights, which are pluses, none of the characters feel particularly deep in their characterization.

I think this is because most if not all of your characters wear their hearts on their sleeve and are unusually open emotionally. This is a good thing in children's literature (a reason I think you might enjoy that) but for a crime/drama/science fiction story...the characters seem to lack the kind of adult or even teenage subtleties that you'd see in regular people. This detracts from their characters and in turn from the story. I like your characters as characters, but they felt like characters to me as I read the story - they didn't feel like real people because of the lack of subtlety and depth to their characters. For instance, the neighborhood boys that suddenly make Luke a friend out of nowhere feel unrealistic, because it's an unusually friendly display for a group of real children. General Ross is one-dimensional and predictable, and the various bad guys aren't really distinguished from one another - all of them read virtually the same way minus Veronica (who I did find pretty interesting, but she's an exception).

I don't think it's entirely bad, and I don't think stories with emotional protagonists are a bad thing, but I feel you need to spend more time fleshing out your characters and giving them depth and subtlety. It feels like a lot of time is spent on action/fight scenes - and there are a LOT of them in this story - moreso than on making the characters feel like real people. Spending more time on that could improve your writing, in my opinion.

Lastly, the typos and formatting...if you ever hope to become a published author, you have to correct all the typos and formatting. I can tell you from my own experience that it dissuades potential readers. Beta readers and proofreaders are out there if you need them! You seem to have improved in terms of spelling as the story went on (although I'll note it's "Giegue" and "Tazmily"), but the story could use grammatical revision, and there are large blocks of text that are difficult to read.

Overall I enjoyed this story, I'm interested and I intend to continue following it (I might also check out the prequels as the premise is intriguing to me) but feel it could do better. I hope I haven't been too mean, I try to be constructive in my criticism so as to help the author improve their writing abilities. It isn't personal! :)

Have a great day and I hope you and your loved ones are staying safe in these dangerous times!

Story is bs

This fic is so good! I know I'm really late on it but I really enjoy it so much. I'm dying to see what happens next and it's kinda hard to find really good Mother/Earthbound fics. I love the concept of the story and how well you present the characters.I hope you can find some time to update when ever you can. Keep up the good work! :)

Woops. And I forgot to mention this... 2 chapters ago, I loved the interaction between Luke and Jeff *the one where they played computer chess and all*. :) I do hope their relationship as 'father and son' continue to bloom.

Hello!

First of all, I've been reading a lot of your Mother/Earthbound fics *especially the Motherbound series* and they are really great! I like your ideas and concepts and the fact you managed to connect all 3 games into 1 universe is truly amazing! Sure, there are some slight grammar and spelling errors, but those are pretty negligible most of the time. :)

And now... my opinions on this chapter:

I do hope Luke learns to come into terms with his 'humanity', the poor guy seemed more conflicted the moment he and Jeff went on this mission. And him interacting and socializing with more people who seem to care about him* a feat he hadn't done before* makes him even more confused and well, conflicted. The revelations aren't even helping. I feel sorry for him... At least Lucas had people to assure him that he was never alone. Luke had none of this and the fact that he never sees the good in humanity makes it even more hurting. Although the struggles both boys went through were almost parallel, Luke had it worse in my opinion.

What happens now? Are the Shorts going to be involved on this mess in the near future? What about Ninten and the others? Would they make a cameo appearance or will this strictly revolve around the Earthbound characters?

Awesome chapter as always! Awaiting for your next update! Thank you! ,

Yes! New chapter! I hope you do more soon!

oh gee, onyx black hair with blonde strands... wonder who that could be.

Next chapter plz, it was interesting and awesome *-*

So, Luke has all of Lucas' memories? Are they the same kind of person or different? How exactly does that work anyway...

At some point all hell is going to break loose when people discover the truth. Especially if (due to Chapter 9's events), all of Lucas's memories are buried deep in his mind, and he discovers what Jeff has done...

I'm loving it. Update soon plox.

Update please

I love this story. Can't wait to see what happens in the next chapter. Thanks for the update and be sure to update soon!