loved it

This is amazing.

I really love this so far! It's nice to actually see stories being written that explore Iroh's past because they seem to be few and far between.

i loved it! can't wait for more!

I'm loving this story so far. I hated that we saw very little of Iroh in the series, and I absolutely love the character you've created him to be. He's very interesting. And Yana is just as headstrong and stubborn as he is, which I like. You've got an amazing writing style and a great voice that shines through. Keep up the great work; I can't wait for the next update! :)
StarrFlower

This story gets better and better! I really like Zumi as the story goes on and the Iroh you created for the story is awesome!

I have been following this fic since it was first posted. From the start I think that the idea for it is great. I love the concept of following Iroh from his start in the military, working to earn respect and rank.

However in practice the story has some good points and difficult points. I like the focus on action in the scenes, you have a great creative concept. The idea of chitinous subterranean badthings is compelling: what stirred them, what can beat them, what are they? Cool stuff.

Your action sequences run a bit like the soundtrack for a war movie where the screen is blurry. I think this had good points and bad points. Good being: war is crazy and chaotic. You can bring a bit of that chaos into the story and have it resonate very well. But in areas where it turns into mostly dialogue the action gets confusing and the dialogue becomes difficult to read. I know that the action is reflected in the dialogue, but in writing it is often better to clearly define what is going on (externally) and then the characters reaction (internally) to bring your reader along for the ride.

I'm also catching modern references: cigarette packs, "hold on to your hats" a few other war-movie dialogue references. To me this reads more like a Vietnam, or possibly World-War II era war rather than a steampunkian World War I (cigarettes, for instance, were sold in boxes in the 1910's, not packs, and usually kept in personal cases). These are tiny details, but they can bring a greater sense of realism to your story.

I think this story has some real potential and I'm curious to see where it ends up!

adskfdljklrd. This story is so brilliantly written! I love all the details you have put into this story. It's refreshing to read from the more common Republic City-centered stories. And I love that there are so many sub-plots to this story. Absolutely wonderful. Keep up the work; I'm looking forward to more.

This story is sooooo original, I love that you chose to make it :)

This story is great so far!