Very good

That's really great. i kept hoping someone would write about the scene in the elevator but this is the only story i found. thank you.

Firstly, I have to say that I was surprised that this was written from Callie's point of view. It works beautifully the way you've written it, I think I was just superimposing my thoughts about this scene onto what you might write about it and making assumptions based on that. I've always loved the way Arizona can't keep herself from Callie and seizes the moment. I get so swept up in that passionate instinct of hers and that was the perspective I was anticipating. So you surprised me and it was a good surprise, because it was a fresh and interesting perspective for me.
I can hardly tell you how much I loved this piece of writing and I want to do it justice in reviewing it, but I doubt that I will be able to in reality, because this writing is so moving and heart-felt and poetic, that my words could never capture its essence. It's a piece of ethereal beauty to be experienced, but I will do my best to try and articulate some of the many ways in which it moved me.
I can see why writing it was painful and made you sad, because you really have gotten inside Callie's head and beautifully expressed her aching heart-break. The way you described her suffering at losing Arizona, but still having to see her and be around her true love made my heart ache as I read. This line really encapsulated that pain:
“it's torture; it's like having my heart ripped out, pinned and then smashed to the floor.”
The way you've described Callie's sadness at the start of this one shot is so well done, I can feel the oppressive nature of her grief. You've written it so that her emotions are totally pervasive; I felt them all as I was reading and so understood her need to escape from the hospital and retreat to her apartment to drink and cry.
This line was so sad and yet, also beautiful.
“And all I can do is watch it happen, watch as she breathes the air I'm breathing and feel it get harder and harder with every passing second.”
The description below really resonated, that phenomenon of trying to adjust to the loss of the individual who's been the most significant person in your life and them being gone and the not knowing what is happening with them and still desperately wanting to know. You write with such truth and accuracy about intense emotions and events, that's why it resonates. You're not just putting yourself in Callie's mindset, you're showing such a depth of understanding and knowledge for the complexities of human experiences. It's writing like this that has a profound ability to move, because it speaks to your readers on such a personal level. Your ability to capture such truths shows remarkable skill and I think it's one of the things that could make you a treasured writer on a much wider scale than fan fiction writing. Although, you are undoubtedly already a treasured writer within the fan fiction community.
“I don't even know what she's doing right now, when I get home she won't be there to greet me or there won't be any texts telling me that she wants me to drop by or asking if she can come over. I don't know if she's in surgery now or if she's at home, if she's even home? And it kills me not knowing. Because all I do is think about her, all I do is trying not to think about her, but still she's the one thing my mind lets me think of. ”
I loved your title “How Do We Find Home?”. We've spoken about the importance of a good title, I so agree that a good title is needed not only to do justice to a great piece of writing, but also to entice and intrigue potential readers. You name your works' so well and I love how with this piece “How Do We Find Home?” isn't just a title, but also a theme that runs through it and the words below show how beautifully you've woven that theme throughout.
“Our different needs for a future are those big holes in the bumpy road, and it feels like even though we would discuss it to the end of time we will never be able to fill those holes for us to drive safely home – together.”
I love how you've referenced the painful irony for Callie, that she's found the person that she wants to share her life with, the person she wants to have a family with and that person doesn't share her desire to have a family. So what she wants most for her life she can't have with the only person she wants to share it with. It's so cruel and so sad and for all of the difficulties that Callie suffered, nothing could have been harder to deal with than this situation and you get right to the heart of the matter.
“I never thought the need of children would come as a barrier for my love life, or just my life. I never thought that I would find the love of my life and even less, I never thought a desire to create a family would be the thing tearing me away from that same love. So to say my life is pretty messed up right now would be an understatement. It's actually as screwed up as my life has ever been.”
Again with the description below I think you so expertly describe emotions that sit so perfectly with Callie's reaction/Sara's performance, it is remarkably spot on!
“There she is in all her majestic being; her golden locks softly curled and cascading down her shoulders, her eyes somehow still shining and her lips creating that small smile I always find so sexy. I think I died again, and just when I thought I couldn't hurt anymore she appears and kills me all over with her beauty and the fact that I can't have her…anymore.
"Hey," she softly speaks as she turns around, her back and that gorgeous blonde hair being the only thing I can look at.
"Hey," I breathe back.”
And following on from the hurt of Callie having to see Arizona in such painfully close proximity, you give us some respite in thoughts of hopefulness from Callie. Such is her need and desire to be with Arizona that she can't let go of the hope that maybe they could work with each other to find a solution to what at the time seems an insurmountable problem for them. Again, this is so truthful, that in the midst of such despair Callie is clinging to the hope that a relationship that was so perfect in all other respects could possibly find salvation in the hands of two people who love each other so much.
“What is it we're doing? Why are we doing this? How come we can't find a way where we can make a future of both our wishes? I know Arizona doesn't want kids but maybe, just maybe she will come around at some point? Maybe if we talk again or try to list off all the reasons why we want what we want, and then come up with some way to mix it, it could work out good? I need us to try again because I can't stand this anymore.”
Oh Nanna, the bittersweet beauty of this writing, it's wonderful. You capture the sweetness and warmth of their love and for a moment I was enveloped by that and then I came crashing back to reality with the most stinging description of Callie's pain.
“What am I going to do now? She's so, so close. I can smell her perfume as it creeps itself into my nostrils, making me remember all those nights I've been sniffing and inhaling her pillow when she's been working or the days I've spent cuddled up on the couch in the crook of her neck. And then it hurts again – like a knife cutting through every chamber of my heart, like a fist punching my stomach, like a hammer slamming my head again and again. I can't contain it anymore, I can't press my vehemently yearnings down anymore…”
I loved the next lines, more wonderfully real thoughts. Anyone who's ever experienced true heart-break has thought and experienced exactly what you describe. It's so well done, it's such a talent to be able to capture and express emotions that speak to people on such a personal level and you do so time and again.
“I'm going to die all over again…and from a heartbreak, even though people say it's not possible; but I'm going to prove all those people wrong, they clearly haven't been in love and then have that love taken away.”
And you give a voice to Arizona's pain through Callie, which is very clever. You did it in your last one-shot, too, when you allowed Arizona's observations to reflect what was going on with Callie and the following lines have the same impact:
“And I know that Arizona feels it too, I know she feels something. Because she was just as sad and miserable as I was when we broke, and though she might seem all calm and settled with this situation I know she isn't. I know her. She hurts too.”
One of the things I really loved about the elevator scene was actually the whole insight it gave into how torn and tortured Arizona was by the situation. I think we'd experienced the unfolding of events more from Callie's point of view, as she processed and dealt with the revelation that Arizona did not want children and this moment of raw need for the woman she loves from Arizona was so poignant and you manage to illuminate her pain, too.
Again, the following description just perfectly sums up the moment and Sara's performance.
“So I can't hold it back anymore, I need to say her name. I need for her to hear me, see me, touch me. Just the tiniest kind of contact…
"Arizona…" I breathe with a sigh as my heart cries, and I've only let her name slip from my lips before the soft, smooth lips I've been yearning for since I last felt them is on mine. The whole world stops as I let Arizona kiss me, as I let myself participate in something I know I should regret but don't.”
More poetry and so sweet and moving:
“I feel my entire body explode with love; because even though I'm so sad all I will ever be able to feel when Arizona kisses me is love. Anything else isn't possible.”
You capture the passion and competing emotions of the moment perfectly with the following:
“The kiss is greedy and needy but oh does it feel amazing. I want to cry and scream and push her away but hold her closer than I've ever done before, all at the same time.”
Another charmingly poetic reference to the theme of home and the hopefulness that Callie is beginning to foster in her heart.
“the way our hearts beat, makes me b

I'm speechless! You did it again! You caught all Callie's feelings and you wrote them wonderfully! And I have to say it...at some point a tear fell down my cheek, your words moved me so much! Thank you Nanna, you're amazing! :)
"I QUOTE EVERY SINGLE WORD"

perfection.

You really get these two. Like REALLY get them.
This is a more bearable scene to watch now and read because we know they are together(!)
You really bring your words to life,truly poetry in story form..
Beautiful 3

wow, this was just... wow!

I seen this on the updates page and thought it would be like all the other fics about this scene, but I mean wow, you totally out done them all. This is my favourite scene with Callie and Arizona too, and you did it justice!

This writing is phenomenal - I think that's how you spell it haha.-
So now i'm off to read the rest of your other stuff, great work. Love it!

Youre very good in this. I can clearly see it as it goes through Callies head. Keep doing one-shots like this...

i love your version !

That was heartwrenching. It is beautiful writing! Thanks for two in one day!

I dont think anyone could have captured the emotions from this scene better than you. I even believe if you asked the actress' themselves this is how they would see that characters emotions. Its just perfect.
You somehow managed (ooh Kate Walsh just appeared on my tv, she's hot!) anyway, to make me feel as if I was there in that elevator!

I cant explain any further, I dont even think i'm expressing enough how much praise you need for this!

Perfect! Amazing! Beautiful! Heartbreakingly sad! I certainly bought tears to my eyes!

I'm really liking these One-Shots! I hope you decide to write a lot more of them!

Very on spot with what was going on in Callie's head! Nice!

I really really like these one shots you are doing they are so emotional and descriptive just excellent . Please take care bye for now .

PERFECT.