Please update I want to see what happens next! Great story

um it's very dramatic
a few grammar mistakes , the plot was pretty good but mostly all over the place . the characters started dating pretty quickly , I dunno is it wrong that I prefer a slow route ?
Sorry but not a Jily story in my eyes
maybe you should try writing your own stories with your own characters? I find it easier myself...
work a bit on different angles !
X

Oh my I love this! At first I wasn't so sure, but I thought I should try it out and it's great! But I'm still remembering Amos's "You'll regret this". Is that going to come up?

Great story..keep up the great work!

This chapter was kind of all over the place. First they're in the broom cupboard, and in the next paragraph they're in the common room. You need to be a little more consistent and focus on the details.

Lily go out with other guys.. james get jelaous... Lily and random guys break up.. started to like james... cheap plot... boring...

Lily says she loves James, yet go out with other guys and let them feel her up in some broom closet... cheap girl... cheap definition of love... this is not love...

amateur story.. dont like it...sorry

This is so good!

its really good poor lilly when are you going to bring snape in i love lilly and james

so far so good look forward to reading more of ur story and how u end up putting james and lily together!