strawmanning opponents writer kun? bad.

WOW!

I liked the story.

You really surprised me with the final "fight"... I thought that Naru giving Keitaro her blood that way would give him extra power and allow him to win against Urashima... The priests coming and finishing the Evil One (TM ;-p) got me totally by surprise!

For a time, I thought that Naru would come back as a vampire, but then I realized that she should not go to hell (Keitaro only went because of the soul sharing thing with his ancestor)... I then wondered if she could come back from heaven... If you hadn't had them come back to Hinata during the day, I would have imagined that Keitaro had sacrificed HIS way out of this to resurrect Naru.

(On a side note, Keitaro was supposed to be extra graceful... But when the girls knew about his state, he came back to be his usual clumsiness...)

Thanks again for posting it!

Check out an anime called hellsing. its awesome

O.o

OMG...

Excellent fic. Thanks a million.

"I associate Victorian England and England in general with vampires"

Well, both see roughly the same amount of sunlight I suppose... Sigh...

Hm... very nice. I congradulate you on coming up with this idea(I believe), though I see a few problems, this is a very good fic.

Now, onto being critical... I felt the action was a bit oddly paced, or perhaps it's the way you wrote it... I'm not sure. Also, while I have nothing against Deus Ex Machina, you made it far far too obvious, and rushed right past the details. Also, unless he was seen far far earlier and has been a mysterious figure for a while, God NEVER admits who he is; it may be implied or directly guessed by the characters, but he never comes right out and says it so blatantly. Makes the total Deus Ex Machina so much worse.

I liked the beginning and the middle of this fic, but the ending fails to reach the same level, I think. Though I've no room to talk about endings, seeing as I haven't managed to write one yet. Good work, and I hope to see more.

"A man never stands as tall as when he kneels to help a child."

That is the best quote I've ever seen in a fanfic. Words can't explain how true that saying is.

Back to the story... This is a great fic, using the much better Kuei-jin over the stereotypical Transylvanian vampire. The ending semmed a bit rushed, though, with Keitaro magically returning to normal without explination.

Other than that, keep on writing. I hope someday my skills will be on par with yours. Ja ne!

Very Good! I enjoyed every bit of this fic. Your wording was good...good action...long writing, and A nice ending! I've got to say my man...got to give you your props!

Very Good! I enjoyed every bit of this fic. Your wording was good...good action...long writing, and A nice ending! I've got to say my man...got to give you your props!

No one ever suspects the old preiste until it's to Karma indeed. A truley awesome story.
Peace.

Very interesting story, hope you create another love hina story as good as this...

Very very well done. This is the best written Love Hina fic i'v read.

This is a pretty good story, interesting in parts. Naru has been pretty annoying so far though, and normally I like her. I'd give it a six or seven out of ten. The main detraction was the way Naru kept involving herself in the action for no reason. It sort of grated on me.