please continue

plz update!

YES! Please Continue the story! It's been so long since you updated. Like 5 years? I read this previously, but you still haven't posted. Please make another chapter.

Continue the story

yes i loved the story you should continue.

Do it. This is a good story with good ideas. Continue working with this story.

I think this story could be really good, but its a lot of little things that let you down. Try and fix your sentence structure, and spread out your paragraphs a bit more.

A little rule of thumb; when you're reading a sentence out loud, every time you pause for breath is when you have to put a full stop. Every time you change topic, or speaker, or focus is when you have to start a new paragraph. Little things can get the story flowing a lot better for the reader.

Sorry, I really don't want to criticise you over grammar; it is a nice plot, I like the dialogue, and the story looks promising. Readers could just appreciate it more if you smoothed out your writing style. Perhaps try to find a Beta reader if you're having trouble.

Hope you keep on writing :)

Well, I think this sets it up for a good plot. There are quite a few grammar mistakes, but I like the premise.
My advice would be to fix up the grammar quickly. It's a nice story, but lots of people can get distracted if all the dots and capitals aren't in the right place. I know its boring, but if you can get that right then a lot of readers will appreciate it more.

Continue

UPDATE

YES!It's awesome

epic

you should continue its a very interesting story and i to see how the story goes

plz continue this story! thanks :D

it's totally awesome so far and i love the idea too :)

Continue, I see a lot of can come out of this story, but at the moment, there;s little I can say except that you should definately continue.