Not bad, not bad at all.

.-.

While the story is competently written so far, you did make a major mistake in describing the Legion as preferring hit-and-run tactics, which is straight up incorrect. The Legion is made up of 87 conquered tribes, preferring melee fights and shock tactics as in a conversation with Moore:

"The Courier: "What do you know about Caesar's Legion?"
Cassandra Moore: "They're organized, I'll give them that. The few times I've encountered them firsthand, I've been impressed with their discipline. I've heard they don't allow women in their military, considering them nothing more than breeding stock. Their men, however, are typically quite large, in phenomenal condition, and prefer close-quarter weapons. Recent engagements have taught us to fear their shock attacks, so it's a blessing that we seem to have superior firearms."

From how you've written them so far however, they seem to be little better than common raiders which is generally missing the point of the Legion; they're absolutely brutal and hinge around the word of one man, yes, but they get results which is something more than the very spread out NCR can claim. If they win, even under Lanius's control, as the ending goes "Civilization, unforgiving/savage as it was, finally came to the Mojave".

It's a jarringly major error that's somewhat offputting.

I personally find it also difficult to believe that the Courier simply walked into the Fort and killed every Legionary there and strangled Caesar in front of the Praetorian Guard over the sight of one child slave since that seems like a major overreaction for something that's fairly common in all honesty in the Wasteland. However, this comes down to me taking issue with the characterization of the Courier. I will admit this is ultimately down to personal preference on how to write the Courier since they are the ultimate blank slate in Fallout.

Good story you got there, hope you could continue it.

He's the Fuckmothering Courier, he is insane.

Very interesting story. I hope you continue with the series and I see great potential in this story.

Damn. This hasn't been updated for a while

will this ever be continued? I love it

for all that marcus is supposed to be about bringing a gun to a sword fight it only seems to apply to mooks, i dont care how good a swordswoman claudette is a 44 round kills her just as dead, its still a shame this wasnt continued though

while most of the population wouldnt recognise gunfire (his former travelling companions excepted) you would think that repeated shotgun blasts would attrac a great deal of attention: guns are LOUD

i suspect his former companions would be appauled by his actions, but assassination is far from the worst thing he's done, even if the shotgun wasnt exactly an elegant way to go about things

I wonder what gun he decided to leave in his pack?

dang Marcus can be scary cold when he cuts loose...

its good that despite the tricks in his sleeve the courier can still get his ass kicked in a spar. i suspect that in an all out melee his ruthlessness would give him the upper hand though

I wonder who the courier lost on the homefront, Cass? he really should have put that bullet in the soul suckers head though and double tapped for good measure