Its good, Instead of Guarus and Tali dying you have mentioned they were helping organizing their own fleets around earth. Other than that is a good story. I wonder what tension will be in between the Alliance and Qunari?

This is an interesting story...

What about sending the Normandy back for a second trip for the crates?

you have grammaticla errors here and there, its minor and not too confusing, but still...

the deleted scene and harbinger got retconned in extened cut and they suvive IF ems is high enough, wounded and aved bybnormandy chck yourself

looking forward to the next chapter T_T

Well, while it has a lot of promise there is a lot of work that could be done to improve it.

Number one has to be the grammar and spelling. Often enough you use the wrong word. encase instead of in case. using "to" instead of too.

There are many times where you fail to add a suffix to the proper word or misuse an apostrophe. (Plural for Atlas would be Atlases. Atlas's would be showing ownership.

Dialogue feels overly simple and the action itself bland and exceedingly rough.

Hang in there!

I'm sad now :'(

Nice, as for sheilds, I was lead to believe that they can also hold back energy and disrupt biotics, hince why you can't use pyro or cryo on sheilded targets. A higher energy ready can get pass it as it only asorb up to a point, so arrows may not be able to depending on the quaility. Melee combat can get pass it for it has a higher mass, and that is why they have body armor. I think it be harder for any melee combat to get through the armor since they are design to stop high speed bullets and survive the charge of a Krogan.
Next would be why didn't they fly or drive there as I assume they do have the vechiles to do so. Or are they conserving on fuel.

There is no need to explain how EDI and the geth survived, simply leave them dead. If you picked Destroy you have to deal with that. Mass Effect is about choices and consequences, despite BioWare's poor effort in maintaining that. And if you want to have your cake and eat it too, then you're not really honoring what Mass Effect is about.

Still have your tenses all over the place.

We do, if we aske to alert us about a story.

gotta say the uuuuhhh EDI and Joker scene VERY funny almost stopped reading from laughing keep up the good work

We get alerts if a chapter gets changed.

I'd figured you'd used that Extended Cut DLC... just a thought to everyone else. But I have one question. And besides the point on the Qunari and the Mage and Templar war...

For now, I'm curious if you're going to add the Legacy and Mark of the Assassin? And if Jack will be in future chapters...?