I think you did an absolutely fabulous job on nailing the P.I. perspective. When I started reading this, I got through the first paragraph and had to stop and tell my coworker how wonderfully done it was. I started reading it and about 5 words in automatically heard it in my head, as I was reading, just like the old Dick Tracy flicks and such.

Fantastically done! I wish it was easier for you to sustain because you, nailed it!

I liked this. Though I think the P.I. lighting up in the middle of the great hall of a school would have had someone yelling at him.

Very clever writing, Nd I can totally see it must be hard to sustain, but I do love the descriptors

Very interesting

Interesting idea. Imaginative.

Cute.

This is a job well done. I kept hearing the raspy voice off camera all the time. Pity you could not sustain in for longer, but I congratulate you on what you managed.

I like this. It is original, and better than you think. Thanks for sharing your tale.

Fun!

I like the way this private investigator is pissing Dumbles off because Dumbles tried legilimency on him.
Yay! at the thought of the private investigator roughing up Severus Snape, who's IMO had that roughing up coming for decades.
I like the way the private investigator roughed Snape up even further than what was strictly warranted.

LOL at the thought of professor McGonagall being thought of as a "dame".
And at Dumbles being thought of as "some bumblebee of a man".
The private investigator is not wrong about Dumbles being slimy underneath those sparkling eyes and friendly disposition, though.

I enjoyed this ; can see how it's difficult to write

an interesting point of view in this story :)

Just like Sam Spade or Philip Marlow...bring it on, kid!

this is fantastic though
I like how you can't really tell what gender the narrator is, but I imagine them as a take-no-prisoners, done-with-your-shit woman.