Really nice oneshot.
Thanks for sharing!

I just found this story - I know, I'm so far behind ;)

I love the narration-nice and clear. Easy to follow where the story is going. Personally, I've never had much love for either Kaidan or Ashley. I never know which one to leave behind on Virmire. Wish I could leave both, but alas...I can't.

I doesn't matter if you've played all 3 games a 1000 times or never heard of it; this is your interpretation of the characters. If you can write a well rounded character/story, even without knowing all there is to know about those characters, and have the story come out very well written, then I'd say you are a extremely gifted writer.

My only regret is that there isn't a 2nd chapter ;-)

I love your narration. That's my favourite thing about your stories. I know exactly what the characters are thinking, feeling, and what's going on in the scene because you are so descriptive. I'm sad it ended here but I thought it was off to a great start. Thanks for posting :)

Btw, there are a couple of reviews on here that make me want to punch people out. I wish I could erase them. I'm sorry you read them. No one has the right to attack anyone like that, especially not in such a horrible and downright mean way. You are wonderfully talented and you write so well. I see what you see in your mind because you express yourself with such clarity. Keep up with the writing because what you produce is fantastic.

This story is stupid as shit. Not only is Kaidan incredibly OOC, but quite frankly there is absolutely no chance the situation could go down this way. Kaidan is a military officer on a military ship who was openly disrespectful and the repeatedly threw his commanding officer across the ship. He's getting court martialed and drummed out of the military for that, without question. It doesn't matter if Shepard wants to let that go, she literally can't not without the entire discipline and military structure that the ship and crew rely on to function tumbling down around her.

And the writing is stuff and subpar as well. It's nearly entirely telling instead of showing.

I really enjoyed this story, I appreciate that this is one of your earlier ones in the ME universe but it's really well put together and the characterisation is spot-on for the most part :) I've been following your work with Rae on the K-Meme for a good while now and it's all amazing, but I regret that I hadn't thought to check your own work until now, something I'm glad to address.

You write fluidly and clearly, and your work is a joy to read. I look forward to your forthcoming writings :D

Erm...yeah it shows that you hadn't at the time you wrote this, played the 1st game all the way through. As well-written as this story is, Kaiden is WAY OOC. He's too soft-spoken and gentle a soul in-game to 1). show jealousy like that and 2). show such unfounded rage. I mean he went from wanting to be with Shepard, to wanting to be with Liara in seemingly the blink of an eye. But where did the rage come from? He likes the Commander (and there isn't even a *hint* that he likes Liara 'that way' in-game), so why is he filled with so much rage at Shepard and not Liara as well? It's just too out of character to be believable sorry, even though as I said it's still well-written.

I personally think that you have both Ashley and kaidan a little too uptight about Shepard and her interest in Liara.

I mean yes, they are professional soldiers who know the regs about fraternization, but I think they are taking it a little too far.

that siad, I do very much enjoy femshep/Liara stories. And this one involving a Shepard with a high standard of honor and duty was a pleasure to read. I'm almost wondering if there is a planned continuation.

A
I do hope there is more to come

Cool :) Defending a woman's honour ;) Well as much as Asari can be called woman.

I really enjoyed how you delved into their feelings. Especially Shepard's. Also I loved that Liara thought Shepard's reaction was from pain, not from being aroused by her simple touch. Loved this, I could definitely see Shepard reacting like that, flying off the handle - because it involves Liara.

This was wonderful ! I hope you'll write more Liara/Femshep in the future :D

Liked this a lot! I don't know that Kaidan would say something in quite that way but it definitely made for an interesting confrontation. And I loved Liara's thoughts. I can't get enough of awkward!ME1 Liara. :D

This is well-written! I like! x

Excellent

I like it very much :D

its not pure canon, but i have enjoyed all the embarrasing situation jeje

:D