So I came to this story late and as someone who loves all Jasper stories I had to jump right in. However, I have to admit I am sad how it ended. I never imagined this would be the end. What a sad ending. I will admit I don't really like sad endings especially during right now when everything in the world seems to be so sad. I did enjoy the journey though and happy that in the end Jasper and Bella did end up together. :)

Wow, that was unexpected.
Really, if it was the end you always planned. Hmm... fair enough. I don’t feel like it was the end this story was crying out for though. Or the end the readers deserved, If that makes sense. But more, it didn’t feel true. Some stories you can sort of feel the terrible end coming. You’re hoping against it, but you feel it. I did think, maybe half way through, this might turn out to be one of those stories, but it didn’t. It moved on from that.

So here’s my honest review. This story has a lot of potential and the first half or maybe 3/4s were really great. I feel like there was a point where you started to lose it, perhaps following the plan, but your heart wasn’t as in it. We started getting more narrative summary and less emotion.
And if that was the end you were planning, if I were your editor, I would have suggested rewriting the last few chapters to be less humourous/over the top.
I was feeling already that the battle, and her acceptance of Jasper, didn’t have the climactic feel that they should have; again, more a sense of summary than story (it’s that old ‘show don’t tell’ thing). Which in a sense I understand now, because this is the climax you were leading to. But... it just didn’t really work with the style of those last few chapters.
All that said, I think you really do have a talent, and I know that the episodic nature of writing And publishing fan fiction kinds of lends itself to this issue. If you were writing a novel, you’d now go back and edit the thing as a whole, before publication. So, I’d definitely read more from you if you published a new story (I think I looked on your profile and saw you haven’t published anything since this one?).

So he never did call Rosalie to sound her out, hey?

Okay, I think J proved me right and Pete wrong. Just as well!
Smiling now.

Sigh. I have to say I think Pete and Char are eating here. What she needs is Jasper to be there for her, to grovel, to tell her what he suspects happened and how they were betrayed, to tell her he’ll always love her, as always loved her, no matter what.
Of course, maybe Pete knows Jasper better than I do... let’s see how he does!

Well! Bloody typical that they-didn’t-have The conversation (or not effectively). I knew it was too soon for you to put us out if our misery that way.
I figured it was cancer. Gah!

But Caius? Now that was a surprise.

Sadly I really *have* to go to bed now! The rest will have to wait. Even though I’m now all tied up in knots!

Ah, finally! I thought you’d make us wait longer for that conversation but I’m glad you haven’t! (You really haven’t right? We’re going to get it in the next chapter?)

Okay, so this answers that question!
But what the Fk Jasper?! Pete told you the train they hadn’t wanted him to visit while she was there was in case he accidebtally let’s something slip to the Cullens which would be dangerous for her! So what does he do? Calls Rosalie and tells her. Idiot!

Hmm, but can he trust Rosalie? Was she - or any of the Cullens - involved in what ever happened? I guess they really did think she was dead, so it wasn’t that Alice faked that. But she doesn’t want the to know she’s alive either...

Also, her shooting Jasper? Pure gold! LOL.

Well... wow!

Wow! What the F happened in her past? Well, some of it’s pretty clear from that I guess but where does Jasoer come in to it? And for that matter, what exactly just happened in her present?
Okay, moving on...

Oh! Very Interesting beginning! I don’t know how I never came across this story before!

I hate it

Omg, what! This story has made me cry like a baby from start to finish, I was holding out for a happy ending, now my heart is broken :(

Such a good story...that coulda and shoulda been better, even great. However, in my opinion, with the ending you chose made the story, pointless.
I feel that I was cheated and THAT makes me sad.
Because your effort and time is worth MORE than a sadly cheated feeling reviewer.
So, in the future...
don't write with a broken pencil, because unfortunately, just like this story? it's pointless.

Now I'm depressed and in a doldrummy kind of funk. :( and I don't like it!

I respect an Author's choice, however, May I suggest that you add a second alternative ending with the HEA? I read the reviews for chapter 16 & most all of your reviewer's were hoping for an HEA. By doing this, it would possibly make-up for your disappointed reviewers.

So, I guess I'm throwing down the gauntlet. I'm challenging you.
To take a good story(Just like Tony the Tiger would say...)
Tiger Stripes...it's not just good...it's Grrrreat!

Come on...I know you wanna make your readers feel...worth it!

Just a concerned, but, hopeful reviewer...Now, get to stepping!
CentauRita, NorCal Gal