Poor sonic, but he does deserve it. Things are getting interesting, plz update soon

Please update this story soon! I like it very much and am very curious as to where it's going next! Please update!

GREAT STORY. PLEASE DO NOT STOP WRITING THIS. I LOVE IT. YOU'RE A GREAT AUTHOR. THANKS.

Man, I didn't think Sonic would go this far as to 'hurt' someone and not give a damn about it. Geez, what happened to the fun and cheerful blue hedgehog 'I' knew? Anyways, nice chapter, I was waiting for you to update again. Please update soon.

I would love for you to continue this story.

[How you ask?]

With openers that immediately switch to a flashback, the reader already feels a bit unnerved. There is no need to start the fic at any other point than the beginning of the story, especially if you won't do anything with the introduction.

[Well, in order to fully understand this particular situation]

What's with this string of words? This isn't romance. This is like I'm reading a government form. Choose choice words to get the message across.

[the point was]

Something's redundant.

[a peaceful day."]

That would be nice if you didn't tell us it was a peaceful day three times before.

The intro doesn't feel like a Sonic fic. Mainly because Sonic likes to RUN! I think he'd get bored with relaxing. And the joke "nothing could go wrong" is overused to death. It doesn't really fit Sonic's personality, anyway.

[Muttered Sonic, the owner of the previously mentioned voice rapidly approached him.]

Brevity, brevity, brevity. Also, make your sentence structures work.

[It wasn't like he hated her, she was actually a good friend,]

I'm afraid I'll have to be a little rude here to get my feelings across on this subject, but what I just read was

BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH...

Show! Don't tell. Amy is a good friend with Sonic? Give us an example, show us that she is! Don't say something like "Amy is a friend of Sonic" without giving us a sign that she IS a friend of Sonic.

[sonic]

Inexcusable.

["Yeah, what is Amy?"]

Ooh, Romance!

[this time with a bit of anger in his voice.]

Please please please please don't make this the "hate Sonic day" cliche. Have you seen a cutscene from Sega? Tell me if Sonic has gotten angry over this. He would be Sonic! He would run away, or look for an exit, and it makes more sense for AMY to be angry.

[we would get married and have four children]

It might be funny if it wasn't overused.

[Sonic was angry- No furious!]

Why would he care? He'd just run off at this point.

[Sonic said in a low whisper...
Yelled Sonic]

I wouldn't mind this if you had put a "gradual increase" or something like that, but this makes it sound like Sonic's voice just abruptly shifted.

I think in the midst of the story, you forgot that Sonic and Amy aren't people. They don't think about romance like we do. It doesn't help your case when you can change the names of characters and put this story in another fandom, easily.

Forgettable and cliche. If spell check was used, I am a monkey.

explodinghead
Member of Eliminator

I think this story so far is getting ultra mega good. I am wondering are you planning to add Noah Raymond Thompson a male panda bear & Spencer Timothy Metzner a male gorilla into this story?

This is totally getting ultra mega interesting, keep up the good work.

This is getting so good that i don't want any cliffhangers.

This story is way ultra mega awesome, keep up the good work.

This is getting ultra mega awesome, keep up the good work.

This story is really interesting, keep up the good work.

I think what Sonic did was so mean that i think he never deserves to have a girlfriend ever. What do you think?

No! Don't stop! This is such an interesting story!

Its Ok but still keep going! :)