A flashback, eh? This soon? While the content within it is great and I can't get enough of it, I feel it is . . . wasted, pace-wise, character-wise, and impact-wise. This flashback perhaps could've been saved as a dream Ambrosia had about the nature of war (perhaps with war looms later in this story), and Niko comforts her after she wakes up, and it might influence her passiveness. Maybe [depending on how magic is later in the series] Niko is naive to what Ambrosia went through and through some means he is able to see first-hand what is described in this chapter and narrate it that way. So not only do you get the flashback, but you get additional character development of some kind and make good use of the chapter slot.

Despite this, hindsight is 20/20, and as it is now, I'm still invested into the story and beyond those missed opportunities, the chapter itself and the details revealed are simply fantastic. I guess that is to be expected coming from me, given my preference to history/lore/warfare. These kind of things add a lot of depth to your constructed world, it helps shape certain elements about the characters and society. Needless to say, in general, it is a great addition.

Though, as I'm sure you've predicted, I do have to start by nit-picking/discussing the warfare-aspects to provide a new angle/perspective on them. And then move on to discussing the fantastic character emotions and details surrounding them. A balanced approach, what not to like?

Firstly, I'm saying right now even without hindsight there's literally no way the Fyromians can win this battle assuming the Cydonians are competent. They are outclassed in every metric of the word tactically. While I could go into detail about things like the lack of siege weaponry on the Fyromian side. Let me just draw your attention to one key aspect: the Fyromians lack of airborne forces.

There is literally no way the Fyromians can win in this situation unless they have an overwhelming numerical superiority. They NEED air superiority and I'm not stating this just because of my aviation-bias. Consider all of these tactical factors the Fyromians can't counter, not even including the air-attacks:

1: Cydonian owls can literally shadow Fyromian ground forces uncontested, hearing all communications be it day or night. The Cydonians would literally know the Fyromian's every move and plan be it at the local tactical level, or the strategic level. The only way the Fyromians could hope to counter this is by using codes or written messages, but even then, the messengers could be picked off or intercepted unless they're heavily guarded. Which means less Fyromian soldiers for the front-lines. This could be remedied if the Fyromians rely on telepathy, but magic doesn't seem common.

2: Cydonian raptors (including owls) can also gather intelligence visually, counting the Fyromians' numbers and tracking their movements. With messengers relaying these movements to the queen/strategic council. Later in this battle it is mentioned that the Fyromians concentrated their forces on one gate. The Cydonians should've been fully prepared for this given their recon-advantage, and transferred most of their forces to the gate the Fyromians are heading to. Later, Cydonian troops also rush into an ambush, completely unneeded loss of life given how Cydonian raptors can do reconnaissance and spot this.

3: Assuming the siege is meant to encircle the city. These birds can literally fly out and get supplies for the city uncontested. They also can keep communications open as the Fyromians can't cut them off.

So on, so forth. The Fyromians are screwed without even some avian support. They can't make any tactical movements without the Cydonians being aware of it and exploiting it. There's certain things that could've helped "balance" it, so to speak. Some unique things like telepathy would be interesting, perhaps invisibility as well. Maybe since the Fyromians are ground-oriented, they favor heavy armor and are superior in training and skill while the Cydonians favor mobility and tactics. I'd picture the Fyromians would dig under the walls and sneak in that way. While the heavily-armored creatures fight at the main gate.

Does any of this sour my enjoyment of the battle? No, far from it. Maybe all of this is what caused the Fyromians to lose in the first place, as mentioned earlier in the chapter. The fact you introduced logical concepts like the bird's ability to drop projectiles on ground creatures rather than fight on the ground like how humans do it is fantastic. It is a simple change, yet, often overlooked in other stories because it is different. More than anything, I'm just glad as a reader we can see what these battles look like.

Anyhow, onto the other main aspect of this chapter. The characters.

I particularly fancy the fact Ambrosia is shown as a "weak-link" and consistently makes mistakes due to her relative inexperience compared to her brother and mother. This is one of the big things that separates a good female character from a Mary Sue. Ambrosia was trained by the best, had a skilled brother and many allies to look after her, and still found herself almost being killed and learning from mistakes the hard way. These battles and experience would go on to justify her abilities in the actual plot, she isn't powerful without reason, she had to fight through blood, mud, and tears to earn these abilities. Simply splendid.

I find your ability to mesh small personal fights with the bigger picture to be quite pleasing. It isn't jarring at all, you know the overall battle situation, but can still follow what is going on with the characters in just about real-time, with the imagery and imagination filling in the gaps. There's small personal goals with Ambrosia and Leonidas, like finding their mother, that are realistic and not arbitrarily set.

For the sake of consistency, I will point out that I do personally think this chapter could've been even better had some more time been spent on Ambrosia/Leo, perhaps during their break outside of the battle. With them talking and kind of establishing some more development for Leo to make his death even more significant. Little things just to make an already great chapter even better.

I could go on about other things I like, such as the gloomy outlook Ambrosia has at the end of the chapter. But, for now, I think this review serves its purpose.

As a summary of my thoughts, I find the flashback itself to be great, but I do feel narrative-wise it could've been better used at another point in the plot. The battle itself is fantastic and despite the nit-picks I may have, for something made 7 years ago and given how warfare isn't a natural focus for you writing-wise, it is more than pleasing to the average reader. The characters itself is great and serves its purpose, it certainly will come in handy to show why Ambrosia might make a certain action later in the series.

I'll end the review for now, all-in-all, great read!

Well now, best I get out a review while I still can. Needless to say even before I really dig into this chapter, it is quite solid just like the intro. It has the perfect balance between an extremely calm, settling-in pace for the characters. All the while, it also establishes goals, objectives, and gives both the reader and characters a far more detailed image of the setting most of the story will be occurring at. In other words, this chapter could be best described as a literal introduction for the characters and plot-wise, while the previous chapter was more of a setting/origins entry.

The dynamics between Ambrosia and Nikomedes is simply fascinating. While it is obvious they represent Jewel and Blu respectively, they cannot be equated character-wise to the latter beyond physically due to ever apparent variations of their characters, as such, they should be considered separate characters entirely and are not off-character.

This story defies convention in establishing the romance between characters in fiction, as there isn't a wedge to initially overcome, rather, it is already established nearly as fact that the two are invested into each other. It isn't a question of if, rather, a question of when. On the surface such romance may seem shallow and flat, but you somehow managed to make the dynamics between the two even more interesting using this method.

My best guess for why this relationship is so interesting perhaps has to do with the just beautiful way you demonstrate the awkwardness between the two. They don't magically just have no restraints and accept their romance. Nikomedes is still far too established in his ways and modest to confidently proceed or advance the relationship, while Ambrosia clearly has no intentions to rush it blindly. The factors that inhibit their relationship is what makes it special, not the relationship itself. It adds build-up to the inevitable, which makes the reader all the more invested to see how it comes to true fruition.

I was initially skeptical as to why you revealed Ambrosia's background again after already revealing it in the first chapter. It made me consider if it might've just been better to save the revelation until this point exactly. But, I can see what you were going with in having her reveal that to Nikomedes. It is clearly purposeful, establishing to Nikomedes that the trials of conduct and ruling are not easy, and explaining the reasons why she herself eventually came to honor them. This is surely going to impact Niko's way of thinking when the inevitable difficulty arises in his own learning. Clever, below-the-radar insertion. Only in time will I see if this comes true or not.

This also explains why she reveals it despite the sensitive and almost inappropriate nature of the question Niko asked. It is clear she revealed it due to the relevance it would have. And, author-wise, the dialogue also brought up builds on her character's origins further.

One of my main praises for this chapter is how smoothly you integrate character-goals with calm pacing/introductions all in one chapter without it feeling the least bit awkward. An aimless main character isn't truly a main character, you've addressed this from the very beginning with Niko wanting to help his family finanically. But you also don't stop there, Niko has more short-term goals both he has wanted from the start, or that are offered up to him. Such as the coronation ceremony, immortality, and improving his magical skills. All of this in one chapter.

This is one of the easiest ways to tell how a plot will shape out, and if it'll be good or not. More goals means more struggles, more struggles means more conflict, more conflict means more plot. More plot means more enjoyment for the reader. And this is all ignoring the ultimate goal the two seem to have, and even then, there's no telling what else the characters will be after in the future. Which makes me all the more interested to keep reading.

I could go on and on, but, I feel it would get old real quick. My TL;DR verdict? Another solid chapter. Can't wait to move on. Though, I might have to pause briefly to work on my own projects.

Now for some less serious points of note.

Ambrosia: "Bend over, please."
Niko: ( ͡ ͜ʖ ͡) *Lenny face.*

0/10, wasted opportunity for Ambrosia to make a joke to Niko. I would kill to see how Niko would react if she said The Games of Destiny were a "Best of Three". But then again, that might be downright cruel.

Alright, I'll leave it at that, hopefully this entire review gets through!

Now this is the last thing I'll review for this present day. But it is something I should get started on, hence, I'll just leave this little review here for your first chapter.

You may be wondering why my reviews (especially my recent ones) always tend to point out stuff (in particular, how much better the idea could be if more content had been added) for your stories I've reviewed. It isn't because I think your stories are bad or the like, oh no, far from it. They themselves are fantastic (and I hope my reviews show as much), but after being spoiled from this single story of yours and the perfection it bestows, I just cannot — will not — ever be appeased again.

It almost makes me jealous in a way, to think all of this time and effort was spent on the Rio idea rather than a GoGH one. If you had a story of this caliber on the GoGH archive, you easily would've not only firmly establish your place as the best GoGH writer, but you would've had the best GoGH story to boot. When I think of the name Bluetech, one of the first things that come to mind is the intricacy and dedication you put into this story. Dare I say, it blows most other things on this archive out of the water, at least, for me.

So if you're wondering, I'd like to reiterate once again the main reason my reviews for . . . say, Metamorphosis nit-picks about the cursory nature of the story, it's because of all of this right here. Which brings you from a fantastic writer, to a legacy-one.

Sadly, lack of time for you means such possible stories will never be seen again. But as the saying goes: "Don't cry because it's over, smile because it happened."

To start, there's literally nothing I can really critique about your opening. It's just that solid. You have the perfect mix of establishing background/lore/history, while also setting the stage for your story all in one chapter. The readers can picture the world they're entering without the least bit of difficulty, and also get a perfect idea for how the story is going to proceed forward, all the while keeping what is to happen a secret, thus, just making the reader all the more interested.

You don't waste any time with trivial backstories just yet, you're just here for the hook. And soon enough, you provide the origins of the main characters just when the reader has committed to the story and like to know more. It isn't needlessly told just as the character is introduced. Only for the queen is it necessary, yet, there is still that mysterious aura about her, even though things seem so obvious.

Of course, I wouldn't be me if I had my own: "This is how I'd do it." thoughts. Yet, I cannot possibly pin them on you here, with this story made seven years ago, and literally only meant to be a short-story. Even though I could raise an eyebrow about certain lore details, it still literally beats most other fantasy stories like this on the Rio archive of this type. To expect perfection from this already solid story would be unfair.

This story is partially what inspired me to do my own world-building project of a similar type. Mostly because it requires a level of creativity only a certain few are gifted with, you being one of those people. Even though this story may be inspired by a few other works, it still has far more original elements than other ideas on here. For that, praise must be given.

As I stressed before, when I read your recent ideas, I just can't help but think: "If Bluetech had the time and dedication like before. What would his short-story like 'Your Worst Daymare' or 'TftS: Fantasy' look like?" The latter of which you did put more effort to (which I praise), but you get what I mean. Some ideas aren't meant to have word counts in the six-digits, yes. But I'd also argue that they shouldn't be below the five digit mark either. It can be done, but me personally, I just find a more wholesome experience with such stories for the most part. But enough about that, I'm sure it's beating a dead horse at this point.

So anything else I should say? It's literally that straightforward. I need not mention the things I like, from history to the queen's unusual goal, to the developing circumstances that set the stage for the story. It's best I save the more chapter-focused analysis for the next chapter, this one, is simply too self-evident to even bother stating my more elaborate thoughts on it. It's a shame this story had to be left incomplete, but I'll go through all I can despite that.

In time, I'll get to Chapter Two, but for now that'll be it for me and my short little reviewing-spree. Best of wishes with whatever you're doing, and hope you have a good holiday season.

I remember finding this gem of a story a while back, when you had a different name. I unfortunately forgot to favorite you as an author then, and when your name changed it took me a long time to 1) Realize that it had changed, and 2) to find you again. I finally got caught up with the story recently, and am greatly saddened to find it hasn't been updated in almost three years. I know its been awhile, but I still am holding out hope that you will someday continue this beautiful work of art.

Plz update this coz its awesome!

First and foremost I want to apologize for dropping off the face of the planet like that. I really did want to catch up on your magnificent story but I was caught up in other matters.

So for the review:

This is truly one of the most heart warming chapters yet (I yet to catch up to Chapter 26 but that will be soon) You really did a splendid job with this chapter and I enjoyed it to its fullest extent.

I really love this transcendence that Niko has made froa shy, awkward farm bird toa worthy and noble ruler of a kingdom. The way he has evolved from chapter one is amazing and the way he has faced his own internal struggles inspires me to do the same in my day to day life. I really feel as if he could be a real being. He's gone from rags to riches yet he still posseses that humble and honorable nature that he had when he worked on a farm.

However though, I do feel that somewhere among all this happiness lies a problem or conflict waiting to rear its ugly head. It's probably me being way to paranoid and pessimistic, but I can't help but feel that it has to do with the people closest to Ambrosia. It's all just speculation but still...it's kind of unnerving to think of all the worst scenarios that could happen to them.

Me and my crazy speculations...hahaha.

On other aspects of the chapter, it really felt like the next step in Niko and Ambrosia's saga. I can't wait to see how they handle parenthood! At first I was a bit reluctant to trust that they would move so quickly (I read novels where the main character takes absolute AGES to get with his love interest, so by comparison 23 chapters is pretty fast. Granted all the chapters were fairly lengthy but still...) but I am now a true believer of their union and am looking forward to seeing life go well for them.

On a side note, I've been meaning to ask you something. Have you ever considered becoming an author? I mean, I've seen good authors out in this community but you seem to be one of the few authors who can write eloquent sagas that rival that of already published authors. I remember the first story that I read by you (Happy Birthday, I still have chills up to this day) and the horror in the story could rival any horror movie or story.

Sorry I took so long to review. I cannot apologize enough for being gone so long and not reviewing. Hope you forgive me :-)!

Your friend, FtGM

Well, I hate to say this, but this was a great story. It saddens me to come to the realization that this story won't be updated for a while, but I can see why. It sucks because this was one of your best stories that I've seen, and I've become extremely engrossed in the plot and in the development of everything too. I just hope that it does get finished in the future.

Like I've said in previous reviews, Ivannah is a picture perfect result of Niko and Ambrosia. She's a simply enthralling character and a completely perfect addition to the story. It's a shame that I won't be seeing any further development in her character for a while. However, it was satisfying to know that she will become a powerful Mage in the near future.

I really enjoyed the part where Ambrosia and Luke had the sparring match. I've done hand-to-hand sparring matches before, but never with swords. It's gotta take a lot of guts - and hell, probably a lot of balls too - to use swords or any lethal weapons for that matter. I know that I couldn't do it on a moments notice, and without armor or any kind of protection for that matter.

And now for the last part. Yes! The question that I've been asking since Niko became immortal has finally been answered. So, if I was to go at this scientifically (which is damn near pointless, considering the use of magic) I'd say that immortality does something to the host's DNA that makes them immortal. And when two people (or macaws) that are immortal procreate, the DNA passes the "immortality gene" from the parents to the offspring. But in all honesty, I don't really care about the scientific or magical way of describing it. All that care about is that it's just plain awesome!

Anyway, I loved the "last" chapter, and it was really fitting how it ended, considering that it's going on a hiatus. So, I guess I'll be waiting until you continue this story or any future stories.

Razgriz Out!
...
For now.

So Ivanna is immortal, sweet, she vs be with her parents forever

Yay! She has 'dat immortality as well! Dat cool!.. so... yeah... :D..

-Xerion

Outstanding. How telekinesis and super speed can create an ice mage is beyond be, but hey that's magic. Genetic trait inheridence doesn't hold here.

As for the chapter, i love the division of time to pin point key moments in the chicks life. It really made for an enjoyable read. (Along with her innocence to her parents "alone time" in the bathroom) Ivanna is turning out to be a very loveable character and i look forward to reading future chapters.

The only spark of worry for me is the shift in the story's main character. Up till this point the story has been about Niko and how much his life has changed ever since he "killed" Ambrosia. Now it almost feels as if the story is going to focus more on the development of Ivanna.

Okay, now this was an incredibly heartfelt chapter, through and through. It was simply a pleasure to read this update, and I'm sad that it had to end. Everything about it screamed heartwarming love and tender feelings.

The first section of Ivannah's life was simply beautiful. Having already seen the growth of a baby bird from the very beginning, I can personally connect with this. She seemed too adorable to even describe, and yet it was marvelously written. There's nothing much to say about this part except how much of a pleasure it was to read.

The second chunk of Ivannah's life. She seems to have blossomed into an incredibly adept and intelligent bird. Sure, she has a few shortcomings, like her mother's strong will, but that's not necessarily a bad thing. It just seems like it might be a problem between she and Ambrosia. Moving on, her flight training didn't go too well. But that's to be expected. Like I said, I've raised baby birds, and it's hard training them to fly, especially since I can't talk to them and I lack wings. :P

Time for the third chunk. I was wondering when I started reading this I wondered if Ivannah would have any special powers or abilities. I guess that my query would be answered. However, I do wonder how she got an ability anyway. Unfortunately there's not a whole lot more for me to say about this chunk.

The last chunk though... She seems to be a beautiful hybrid of Niko and Ambrosia's personalities and colorations. On that note though, it's hard to say who Ivannah is more bonded to. She's a female, so naturally she'd be closer to her mother, but she has a personality like her father. I really can't see her preferring one over the other though. Moving on now, she's master flight with flying colors, pardon the pun. And it appears that she is also...an ice mage? Huh... Where'd that power come from. Niko is telekinetic, and Ambrosia is telepathic, so I wonder where the ice comes in.

Anyway, complete pleasure to read this update. However, it saddens me to see that this story will be on a temporary hiatus. I've come to love whenever I catch wind of a future update. ;) Well, I'm glad to have been able to read this. Hopefully I'll be able to see a few more updates before the premiere of Rio 2.

Ice Mage...? HAXX! THE HAXX! SO MUCH HAXX-!? ...

.. Don't mind the most randomness above.. so.. I like how you added Ivanna as.. a dialogue character.. if I said that right.. and.. yeah.. :D

-Xerion

Looks like Niko and Ambrosia are having fun looking after their daughter, so she's an ice Mage, that's cool, can't wait for more

Very good! As you know, my previous review stated that there were too many insignificant details. This chapter had lots of details too, but they were all appropriate and added lots of depth to the moment. Your way of describing the battle was fantastic by the way! Also, how you depict the character's emotions through similes and other methods is very effective. I have no complaints about this chapter( since it was action-packed! ) and I'll conclude by saying you've delivered yet another great, solid chapter! I loved every sentence and can't wait until it's the weekend so I can spend it all reading this great story! Ok, bye bye now! Keep it up! Possibly your biggest fan - Gravy storm 24

Argh, damn! I was wrong...again. Then again, when you wrote NtY:TSC, Blu and Jewel had one chick, and that chick was a female. But...I realized this too late. Oh well.

Ahh...this chapter couldn't have come at a better time. I actually have a pair of Peace Doves (white colored pigeons) that I rescued a couple of months back when someone shot and killed their parents, and they had an egg around Christmas day. The egg just hatched yesterday, and then you update today and Niko and Ambrosia's egg hatches. That couldn't be better timing.

Alright, onto more pressing matters. Okay, as much as I love hunting for exotic crystals, I will never go into a cave that I can't see the end of from the entrance. What happened to...Ambrosia, I think...is exactly why. I don't like the thought of a mountain hanging precariously above my head.

Where next? Ah! And now...the royal family is complete. However...no one said that there wasn't room for more kids. Right? Anyway, I loved the choice of name for their daughter. Ivannah seems to be a very regal and fitting name for her. Also, I love how you took my question about their daughter being immortal and included it in the dialogue between Niko and Ambrosia. Very nice.

I noticed that when Niko went to visit his parents, he got there unusually fast. But, he was flying if I remember correctly. Anyway, his parents seemed shocked when they found out that they were grandparents. Then again, my parents would probably be too.

I loved the part with Sigma visiting. If you want my honest opinion, if my Sigma's personality could be personified into an alter ego, I'd say you hit it pretty spot on. I love how humorous he is, and his entrance in this chapter was marvelous, if that was him that brought that squall.

Anyway, amazing chapter, through and through. I only wish that I could read more. Preferably straight from the source. Ah, I'm kidding. Anyway, it was a pleasure to read, and I'm ecstatic to read more.