Not bad, honestly. I think of it more as a last-thoughts-of-life sort of drabble, but then, what do I know? I like it, and I think that this could be turned into something beautiful with a little more work. I kinda want to write a poem for this prompt now.
I loved the first two lines. You had me at the first two lines.

How can you say that this was a fail?

:O

That's silly!

This poem is A LOT better than other poems I've read.

I enjoyed it. _

*sniff* Poor Sasori.

Sasori is one of my favorite Akatsuki members; he's second after Kisame (I mean, anyone who's nickname is 'the Tailed Beast without a Tail' has GOT to be badass!). I was pretty upset when I read he died. He put up an amazing fight though; I know that if he fought me, I'd be dead in a heatbeat. .

I always thought that when these two were partners, it would be rather entertaining. I mean, Diedara partnered up with 'Tobi' is pretty funny too, but I love the art war between him and Sasori. (I kinda agree more with Sasori in the art thing but art can be fleeting as well, but it won't last long enough for loads of people to see it).

I don't think this is a fail. There's room for improvement, but this is far away from failure. Keep up the good work, and maybe I'll see you around the village, voting on polls you make again, lol. :)

Aww, this poem made me cry! Its not a fail... As I read it, I got flashbacks of Sasori's death... Nice try on how he felt when he died.