In not sure how to feel about this chapter. Sej is a strong and proud warrior. I don't think sneaking in quietly would be her style. It doesn't suit her. But that's just me. Anyway what's going to happen next? :o

Good start.

FIRST FAN FICTION? THIS WAS AMAZING

Oh I get it...a skilled hand

One of the best, if not, THE best lemon i've seen, great job and keep it up.

I liked how you made the story to begin with, in my opinion it was even better than the lemon in my opinion

Wonderful writer you are thus why I leave this happy review good job with the lemon are u goin to continue the story?

Hey just wanted to say i really loved the story and the attention to making it realistic. i only found like one grammer error personally i dont care about it haha. i just started reading fan fic and this is my favorite so far. so good job and thanks for writing on sejuani she is the best. i havent read your other story yet but i plan on doing it soon. After i get more of a feel for fan fic i might give it a try my self. im not a new author but i am new to the fan fic scene and i love League of Legends so keep it up.

I liked the metaphors, although some did seem to be too long. You gave many images to the reader without leaving some place for his/her own imagination. However, most of them were very interesting, with fairly different verbs and feeling, creating a varied a detailed scenery.
The sexual scene started off well, but I felt it lost some momentum in the middle, especially with some actions I thought did not belong to the characters in itself. It was well explained, yet lacked some emotional sensitivity for my taste.
Overall, your descriptive style made up for the parts that didnt suit me as a reader. It is a well-written story.

wwwdotadultfanfictiondotnet

They need stories like this.

This is pretty much the most pretentious pile of garbage I've ever encountered. You type like you workshopped every line with a thesaurus and a disapproving scoff towards the conventional. Every paragraph is a complex web of petty similes and forced metaphors. Learn to write with even an ounce of brevity and humility. I hope you get beaten to death with a length of lead pipe.

your an awesome author and this is an awesome story 1000/10. (my grammer is terrible because i'm writing this on a 3ds)

dafuq.

I liked the realistic take!

I'm shocked... And quite frankly confused... You're a good author. Three chapters in, and yet no reviews...

Did you just shove the whole story through in a single night?

Anyways, your 'serious' lemon is pretty good. I only have two complaints.

Ashe and Sejuani don't seem to have met before? They were originally part of the same tribe until Sejuani got pissed at Ashe for some political thing or another (It's in the League of Legends newspaper thing), and split off, taking some followers with her and forming another tribe. If you're going to rewrite history, you should probably mention that you're creating a completely different 'world' than what the official lore suggests in the beginning author's notes.

Second... You added yourself into the first chapter. I like that you didn't go into flashback mode like many others that add themselves into their stories (where they attempt to flesh out their own characters, when the plot really doesn't need it), but still... Be warned, don't make your personal character an integral part of your future stories (should you write any, which I hope you do ), it comes off as creepy. Having a random Davelin pop up every now and then with a couple lines is fine, though.

Aside from all that, I'm putting you on Alert, so I'll get messages when you make new stories. You did a really good job, and I hope to see more in the future