i seriously love this story but the only thing I've ever wondered about is why isn't Spartans mentioned, i mean i know this is about ODST's and i love the fact their getting the respect they deserve but it is a question ive always wondered

I don't know if you're still writing, but it would seem that both first and third-person perspectives are included in the same sentence, which has the potential to confuse readers regarding what tense the story is being told in. Stories of this type should be written in either, typically in the past-tense and the third-person, but never both. Not to make you feel like you're incompetent, but as an experienced reader and writer it seems to me that you don't understand the difference between the tenses or the how to write in one or the other. So I'm sorry, but it seems that your entire work will need to be reworked - gone through chapter by chapter from start to finish.

Also, there's nothing in established Halo lore that even hints at a suggestion that any of the Covenant races have anything resembling the games humans play when they're bored. I know it's creative license on your part, but little pastimes like "Rock, Paper, Scissors" aren't believable from a Covenant point of view. Remember that until the changing of the Prophets' Honor Guard, the Covenant's sole concern has been the eradication of humanity and beginning of the Great Journey by way of activating the Halo array.

Maybe you don't know the history of the Halo universe, but the Grunts have a master-slave relationship with the other Covenant races and would be spending their time in pursuit of much more productive efforts, like supporting their superiors and helping to secure combat zones.

I know this doesn't sound like it, but this is constructive criticism. Use it to hone your writing skill.

I just went through this all in one sitting and I don't regret it, in the slightest! This should be a fucking book, it's that good of a story! I'm in love with it and very sad it's ending here. I do wish to speak with you. (Not on here since I have 0 idea how to operate this site) but I would gladly talk to you on insta. (Mine is gavin_the_dragon_boi)

could you pls make a sequel the end was basically saying a sequel was coming

Knew it. Knew what was happening.

Sword base was on Reach.

Hm, yes, yes, quite please indeed.

Americans only say mate if they're mocking aussies.

H

it'd be cool If you did a sequel i'd love to read it so I can follow up on these guys adventures but its understandable If you dont want to otherwise epic story loved it

Yeah, this story was not good, at all. This was incredibly rushed (especially the relationship)

There’s simply way too many things that are wrong with it. And I struggled to find parts of the story that I liked, but I really didn’t. I really only read this because I was bored out of my mind and now I’m even more bored afterwards.

If you want all the details as to what you did wrong and how you can improve, don’t hesitate to PM me.

I hate to be a party pooper. But you had obviously no common sense when writing this. Absolutely no ODST or Elite for that matter would even shout in the middle of what’s going on in New Mombasa. Especially that Television business going on? C’mon bro, where’s the realism in this story? There all going to get shelled or shot up with all that noise and light going on.

Now Don’t get me wrong, I fucking LOVE humanxsangheili relationships, especially love on the battle field type of deal like what you have got goin’ on here, but everything is going WAY too fast for my tastes and realistically speaking. It’s just all these scenarios are incredibly unrealistic. Although, I am enjoying this story tbh, I just cringe so hard at everything that they do that can get them all killed in minutes.

You son of a bitch God damn it could have at least ended it off with a good teaser on what they did for dat week... Its a great story bro im just give you shit good story some parts tho i just was alittle like hmmm and others i was like yes dad plz give me more

No, "I like your smile" really? They've known each other for a couple hours and most of the time she was unconscious or attaching him... are you fucking serious..

Amazing