I don't know why, but stories of Dean losing/lost Sam always seem so much more tragic and heartbreaking than the reverse. This story was certainly no different. My heartstrings have been tugged and I loved how you used the ipod as the final vestages of Dean's little brother. It's all finale but THEN you used "Dead or Alive" You turned irony into a blade and oh my, what sadness!
Nicely written. :) Thank you for posting.

I'd totally forgotten about that ipod. What a great way to let it be the focus of Dean's grief.

The first time Dean sees it, it's messy. Covered with grime and dirt and mysterious substances that could have come from anywhere. He doesn't recognize it at first because it's six in the morning, he's in the driver's seat of the Impala and the only thoughts that are running in his woozy brain are Drop Ben off at school and Where's that shopping list? and I want breakfast so he really isn't thinking straight at all.- I LOVE THIS!

I can't even believe this is your first SPN story, it's WONDERFUL!

The Dean folder is a stroke of genuis and this part:He trails off, leaving a pause for the "Oh yeah" before realizing with a jolt that it wasn't coming and it was never going to come and slamming down hard on the breaks as everything hits him all at once. The Impala skids for a few feet before coming to rest near the side of the road, Dean's heart pounding in his throat in tandem with his rhythmic mutterings of "Shit. Shit. Shit."

All he has time to think is I'm so pathetic before everything freezes and he knows that the embarrassing, overwhelming display of emotion is on its way. He rests his head on the wheel and feels the walls crack before letting out strangled sound of grief and completely breaks down.- So perfect, I don't have words.

From the little details (talking to Ben about cars and a fight with Lisa) to the big ones (Wanted Dead or Alive and grieving for Sam) this was amazing!

He swallows and pulls the car out of the awkward position he'd parked it in, slowly making his way home again. He can still feel his heart pounding, but now it's saying "Sam. Sam. Sam." and he's relieved for a second that he can feel it at all, that he misses hearing his heartbeat even if it opened up a gaping, painful wound.- And this...just this. You really have a way with words you know that.

I really enjoyed this and think it is fitting and a perfect tag to the year without Sam.

Thank you for writing it and welcome to the SPN fold. I hope this won't be the last SPN related fic we see from you.