This is the longest piece of fanfiction I have ever reviewed so far. I must say, it speaks volumes that I managed to tread through this bulk of text until the end without dropping it midway somewhere around chapter 4, as is the usual with me. Even more so, that Jareth does not appear as frequently as I would like like, but the plot indeed kept me entertained with Toby’s teenage problems, so kudos!

The whole narrative reads like a movie script. There is much attention to detail and it feels very descriptive overall. I think this would have made a fine sequel movie-wise, had there been bravery and David Bowie alive. I think I also got the overall theme right – anything that is not earned, but is wished, will not stay and if made happen, will mangle not only the life of the wish-maker, but of those around him/her. Shane eventually forgiving Toby and slowly becoming his friend again is a great example of that – what is true will remain true.

Toby is the central character of this story and the narrative goes from his PoV. I’m sure there have been many comparisons with Subtilior’s “Advent” (which, incidentally, remains one of my all time favourite fanfictions out there) made and yes, I concur that there are certain similarities plotwise, but the feel, the essence and the characters are vastly different and allow me to fully enjoy this piece in its own right.

This Toby is very much ordinary. His character is just that of the teenaged Average Joe throughout the major part of the story. He tends to place fault in others most of the time and is eager to get his wishes gratified. He is not evil, nor is he particularly selfish, but he is just the right amount of shallow to disregard potential implications and warning signs when he gets them. He also believes (mistakenly) that he will be able to outsmart the powerful being such as Jareth with setting the “right framework” to his wishes, which is way too overconfident. I also find that accepting a bracelet for Sarah to wear seems like a very blatant disregard for his sister, to put it mildly. By now he should be perfectly aware that Jareth is not to be trifled with. But again, in his true nature he is willing to forego all sense and reason and place even his beloved sister into danger at the cost of getting his wish fulfilled.

One might argue that Toby’s acceptance of the bracelet actually is motivated by his sense of solidarity with Jareth. He kind of bonds with him over the issue of unrequited love. However, instead of making the right parallel and understanding that no love should be forced on another and thus give up his pursuit of Angie, he instead enables Jareth to do the same.

Even though Toby’s wishes are mostly harmless and not aimed at anybody’s particular expense, the third one, the one he makes about Angie, is truly sinister. It is notable that initially he just wants Angie and Shane to break up, but ends up wishing her to fall in love with him, essentially securing an effortless victory over her. He later tries to rectify this somehow by a period of extensive flirting, but it does little to make up for the fact. The third wish is truly malicious – he wishes own happiness at the expense of Shane’s and, potentially, Angie’s. I think this is exactly why the relevant crystal is black as obsidian and heavy – it bears the weight of disregard to other humans that Toby accepts.

This swiftly brings me to the question of whether Toby was worthy of Sarah’s sacrifice in the end. One may argue that he was not – even his quasi-redemptional actions towards the end of the piece, when he asks for forgiveness from Angie and spends time with his parents, seem to be motivated by his impeding doom, rather than any true remorse. But maybe it’s just me – whether or not he really grows as a person remains to be seen in the sequel (which, hopefully, the author manages to finish!).

Sarah is very natural here. I like how down-to-earth she is. She is very believable and relatable. I would think the real Sarah would have become something of this sort in her early thirties. She’s smart, resourceful, moderately ambitious and very devoted to her brother. One thing that does baffle me though, is when she consoles her brother over death of Heather – in my mind, given her previous experience with wishing, she should not be convincing Toby that it’s okay to wish harm upon others, however inconsequential. What’s said is said and not truly meaning malice does not negate the weight of it.

It is also evident that, as much as she is reluctant to admit, she is still infatuated by the Goblin King. When pressured by Toby into it, she halfheartedly admits that she does not know whether she would have refused the Goblin King, had Toby not been involved. She also seems overwhelmed and pleased when she finds out that Jareth is still after her, even after all these years. In the end, it appears that she is actually making the sacrifice for Toby not prompted by the worth of Toby as a character himself, but by the fact that she takes the blame of initially bringing Jareth into the picture in the first place. She tends to disregard the entire chain of events prompted by Toby’s wishes and takes the whole responsibility. This is how she atones for a very careless wish she made years ago. Her sacrifice is for her benefit, one to cleanse her of guilt, of which she is apparently tired.

This Jareth is singular. He is much angrier that others that I have come across in the fandom. He frequently loses his temper and does not shy away from actually proving himself the very dangerous being that he is – veiled threats are not for this Jareth. This is the man of action. We learn that this Jareth is a Siabhra, placing him in a definitive mythological category. He seems a very committed Siabhra at that – I love how the smatterings of him appear throughout the story – he has been keeping an eye on Sarah for a while now, which is evident from minute interventions in her life. He apparently got rid of her classmate, who took a role of Hermia; he made her boyfriend in college disappear; he arranged for a crash of an actress playing in the show Sarah was producing, conveniently allowing for her to get the role instead. It is apparent that not all his actions are motivated by selfishness – his methods are evil, but his motivations here are pure – he genuinely wished success for Sarah even before the opening with Toby came along. My personal favorite of the whole story is the moment which perfectly illustrates Jareth’s tender feelings - when Jareth picks up the handkerchief that Sarah cried in, he wonders what troubles her. It shows a very unexpected side of Jareth, who is willing to relieve Sarah of all her troubles. He wants her happy and content and believes himself to be able to deliver it to her. Underneath it all, he genuinely cares, but all his better impulses get crushed and distorted by eons of being a Siabhra. His love is strong – human weak substitute has nothing on it – but it is also cruel and ruthless in its strength. From his standpoint, quarrels are the spice of matrimony, he is convinced that Sarah is his soulmate (and he does not shy away from intervening with anything that makes it seem otherwise) and he feels entitled to have her (Goblin King’s heart beats once an eon and it beats for Sarah). In that way, he is very similar to Toby – he believes that his love for Sarah will justify her reluctance to be with him. In contrast to Toby, however, Jareth does respect Sarah to the extent of sparing her the artificial infatuation – he leaves her with full comprehension of her fate and in full command of own mind.

In the end the question is – is Jareth truly the bad guy here? Or is he just a magnifying glass that makes it apparent that human malice knows no boundaries? He only comes when called, that much is true, and he has no power over people that made no ill wishes. Yes, Jareth is limited in his powers, but he is unlimited in his wants, so it is not surprising that he twisted the circumstances to his benefit. For once, he will have others fulfill his one true wish. After all, having an evil being fall in love with you is not something that is supposed to fare well – by catching the attention of the monster, choice is being forfeit.

Sarah managed to win Toby back and get out of the Labyrinth, thus emerging victorious and becoming a better person, a better sister. She used the lessons wisely. All the peril that she is placed in now, however, is Toby’s handiwork. Whether or not the experience will be as cathartic for Toby, remains to be seen!

Until then,

Much love.

This has kept me gripped for the last 36 hours. I am now moving to the sequel. You are truely gifted. I love a dark jareth

i guess she's lucky jareth didn't give her a necklace! Great fic! Im so glad my friend referred it to me. cant wait for the sequel, i am so heading over there now!

I don't want Toby to get her back! I love this! Dark Jareth is so sexy! Finally! Sarah belongs to the Goblin King!

Loved it! I keep re-reading. Please update Tobys revenge! I can't wait -

One of my all time favorite stories

This was amazing! The first one I've read to actually give Toby a personality and to point out the creepiness of Jareth's 'love' for Sarah. It was spendidly done!
I have so many questions about Sarah's fate. Is she ok? Is he harming her (by human standards)? Will she form Stockholm syndrome? Will she fall for him genuinely after how devious he turned out to be (especially after all of the soulmates references)? Will Toby save her? Can they still beat Jareth?

thoroughly enjoyed this fan fic! a different take on things, thanks for sharing :)

I LOVED IT. Of course! the bracelet bound her to him in chains; its so typically JARETH! I would have loved to read this story written from Jareth's perspective, because I always love the stories when Jareth is evil and also completely obsessed with Sarah. Best ending EVER! Cant wait for you to come back with more chapters for Toby's Revenge. I would love to see how Sarah and Jareth interact with each other now. Not to sound overly demanding but I hate it when a story I love gets left unfinished. please please finish.

This was a fantastic story, one of the few I've read that portrays Jareth as truly evil. Despite generally preferring difficult (but at least eventually consensual) romance arcs, this story drew me in and kept me wanting and reading more. I haven't seen a lot of works that focus on Toby or developing his character, nor many that use the 1986 release of the movie for the timeline basis.

I'm moving straight on to Toby's continuing adventures (technically, I already have but scrolled back to leave my comment about this story over here). Well done, thank you for writing this and continuing the story in the sequel as well.

Amazing story I couldn't stop reading until the end. This is going straight to the favorites.

I just now realized how incredible this story is. I look forward to the sequel.

Well shit just got real.

They keep getting better and better.

Damn you, Jareth!

Also: shackle. Totally called it.