please update :)

Oh My Poop..!Update!

Who is it an PLEASE make the fabrication a narusaku

I love narusaku I HATE sasgay

...She was two are you kidding or just being stupid if a grown man was to rape a two year old she would have died most likely or severely damaged down there please think before you write stupid thing like this.

i know its been awhile since you updated this but i love it! please...pretty please write more soon! X)

love this forwrd to the update!

I've read the entire fanfic, and will try my best not to be mean. Cough*I'm looking at you, Ryan*cough.
All in all, the fanfic's plot is kinda overused. Not that it's your fault. I remember it started with Mei-chan4's Akatsuki baby. And that's when the baby madness started.
I mean, it's okay to have that kinda overused plot, yes, it's perfectly fine. But you have to make it special. Like give it some twist and maybe even some good character development. Or some extra plot twist.
Another one is the family. You should do a little research on families with new babies. That's what I did. A lot of thing's change when a baby's involve. So do some changes! Like maybe the Akatsuki can't sleep properly anymore at night, or Kakuzu fainting die to the diaper prices. Just something has to change, when a baby comes in, anything would be fine.
And speaking of the Akatsuki, another thing is that you've made them kinda out of character.
Like, really out of character.
Always remember when writing an Akatsuki fic, they are s-rank ninjas with super duper powers. You must never make them occ! It's badly written and often annoying.
Look at it this way, let's say you're a NARUTO character, and you are the strong silent type. Now, what if, some random fanfic writer comes along and changes your personality that into a playboy with no brains. Not very pleasant, is it?
What I mean is, don't change the character's personality. A prime example would be this:

Naturally, all of the members had been shocked, but had welcomed her rather... ... kindly. Well, kind enough for a bunch of odd criminals in a criminal organization where each of them had at least over a hundred thousand ryo bounty on their heads.

Kakuzu had been kind enough to protect the baby's ears when Hidan got the news and had decided to curse by shooting out a hand to cover Hidan's mouth.

"Hey! Kakuzu! What's your problem? What's wrong with me saying a little fu-" "WWWWWAAAAAHHHH!" He was interupted. He looked at the baby. And tried again.

"And another fu-" "Waaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhh!"

Angered, he stomped over to the baby and glared and screamed at her, "WHAT THE FUCK IS YOUR PROBLEM YOU FUCKIN MOTHERFUCKING BITCH BABY!"

She stared up at him, her soft rosie cheeks reddening even more, glittering emerald eyes tearing up. Her forehead crinkled and she whimpered a little. Her lower lips trembling. Tears began falling. Luminescent droplets.

She did not wail, or cry, she just started whimpering. Non-stop. Sobbing and whimpering her way into Hidan's messed up heart.
She broke through his defenses...

As he stared at her, his glare melted and he crumbled. Sighing, he patted her head. Trying to get her to stop crying and to ease his guilt. He just felt so so so bad... he made her cry...

Let's all remember that Hidan is a selfish, vulgar and violent jackass who only cares about his god. He is extremely disrespectful, and has violent tendencies. He kills without remorse, all for his immortality. ( we all still love him though. )
Imagine a character like that, handling a baby. I mean it's fine to have him act like that, but it should only happen after a few years or so. Which means more time for bonding scenes.

Another thing I would like to note on:

At two years old, she had demanded in her broken Japanese to be trained. When they didn't, she stomped her foot and ran out. They didn't notice that all their shuriken, senbon and kunai had gone missing. When they did they realised that their training ground was rather... damaged...

Trees had been uprooted, how she did it so quietly they did not know, and their leaves had been used for target practice.

When she asked whether she could borrow samehada from Kisame and he refused, she took it anyway. By mid-morning, their training grounds were near beyond repair. Giant fissures Tsunade would have fainted from were on the ground. But they did not realize that until Pein removed the genjutsu, with quite some effort on his part. Slight pants were concealed quite well.

Somehow or rather, she learnt genjutsu on her own. How? She said that she used this nice thingy inside of her and made it come out to hide the extent of te damage.

At three years old, she was almost as quick as Kakuzu. Two months later, she was on par with Pein himself. How she did this was rather amazing. She had gotten Konan to buy weights that were about five hundred kilograms for each of her limbs and one for her waist. She ran five hundred laps around the base each day, in the morning and at night.

At four years old, she had demanded for two swords that were larger than Samehada, two katanas, two long swords and one huge battleaxe that were made of solid chakra. It cost about, ninety lives.

When she was refused, again, -gee, don't they ever learn?- she had grabbed Samehada and had taken it out on each of the Akatsuki members until she got her way. If she did not their base would most likely be a mess of broken rock or something.

When she finally received wat she wanted, she gave them a huge innocent smile, all the while thanking them for getting it for her, and that they really didn't need to, and then she cackled and went of to train.

It took her a year to master all her weapons. But whe she as finished, she could turn them into weights or tattoos.

At five, she discovered Kisame's secret stash of Sake and had finished them all without getting drunk. That was about... a hundred or so bottles, each of them forty percent and more.

Luckier still, she never got a hangover. Kisame was so jealous, he turned purple... sort of... he was busy moaning over his alcohol.

At six, she discovered that Orochimaru was a real asshole and messed up his life as much
as she ould. She and Sasori worked together to make him miserable. She got Sasori to teach her how to use chakra strings. Chaos ensued wile that happened. She swung herself all over the place. Messed everything up, she even messed Sasori up like crazy.

They discovered that she was immune to poison. They discovered that after she swallowed Sasori's 'cute pink and purple drink' and she should have been dead in the next hour. But she had been busy running around sayin that Hidan was dying cause he had drunk it as well. Why? Because Sakura did and she was fine.

Silly Hidan, so because of him she had to find an antidote. Easy, memorise a encyclopedia of poisons in thirty minutes. She did it. It was impossible. But she did it.

And so she was now an expert on poisons and antidotes. That drove Sasori mad. But he still took her in as an apprentice.

At seven, she was way too bloodthirsty but had perfect chakra control. She hung out with Hidan and Kisame way too much! She even got Zetsu to teach her how to run around and go through walls. And by run around, she means teleport way too far to be possible for anyone except Zetsu and Pein. She still succeeded.

She made Zetsu teach her whatever he knew about medical jutsu. She even used chakra strings to sew Hidan up once.

She made Konan teach her whatever she knew about medic jutsu and her paper things. Even... things she really should only know when she was fifteen, or eighteen.

She got Kisame to train her in swordsmanship. She beat him after three weeks of training.

She had finally gained control of whatever it was that ate chakra, she could turn it off, on, and what kind of chakra to eat. She kept eating a certain snake-bastards chakra.

As for Orochimaru... well... he was leaving soon... how did she know? She listened in on Pein-tou-san's conversations with a weird new member called Tobi. Oviously, he was faking the sweetness and cuteness, but he was okay...

Eigt years old, she had to go to some place called Konohagakure... WHAT THE FUCK? Yes, she also now had a seriously glittery and colourful mouth.

Why? She hung out with Hidan and some pro brat was coming to Akatsuki. He massacred his family... oh well... poor thing... he traumatised? Nah... She was going to meet him, for sure! Heheheeh...

His name was Uchiha Itachi... Uchiha huh? Would she be able to fight the Sharingan? She'd have to check if he could train her in genjutsu someday...

I shall be honest here, Sakura's a MAJOR sue here. She's too strong and smart for a child her age. No one could be that strong at such a young age, even Itachi. To be that strong, she must have started training when she first started to crawl. Even if she was that strong, she would have to give up something in exchange. Like maybe she has horrible socializing skills. And maybe she does not get that much of a childhood. Remember the law of alchemy, to get something, you have to give something in exchange.

I would like to note on something else on the other characters too. Genma isn't really the type to be perverted and all that horny. He can be perverted, just tone it down. Maybe he could be a messy person with Sakura cleaning up after him. Or maybe he just has some secret fetish.
About Hotori Hyuuga, I'm not sure if people like that exist. Calling sone random stranger a freak just because they did not let you walk first seems pretty dumb. And Hyuugas, from what we've seen, are stoic, calm and standoffish people. They do have their pride, but the're not that arrogant.
So, all in all, this story has potential if you go through some more planning and think out the story even more.
On the bright side though, it's not as bad as My Immortal. :)
Good day :)

wooaah... to the super defensive person who says its not flaming and is constructive riticsm... THANKS... oky...but no need to get defensive.. ur helpful and im grateful... but seriously... be alittle nicer and no need to be a bitch... ps.. can u put in quotes or something. pm me. that wld be helpful. thanks hun

I like the plot, but you put in waaaaay too many of the three period thingys. Fer seriously. Try reading it over, and you'll see how irritating it is. Please fix this.

Twitch..twitch...
This is an... Interesting story...
The story plot is normal, your writing could use more description, your characters less ococ. But your major, major flaw with this story is Sakura.
Yeah, Sakura.
I don't want to elaborate on the long list of problems with Sakura, so I'll just get straight to the point.
She's a Mary sue. The biggest I've seen in a long time. She over powered, everyone loves her, she's stronger than the AKATSUKI at age 7 and being quite a.. Not very nice person. I know some will say, oh, but she's such a wimp in the anime, I'm giving her a backbone. No, just no.
If you want to give her a backbone, it's fine and welcome. But, if you make her act like a bitch then that's a different story.
Remember, no bitchiness. It's annoying and really ooc.
I know I've mention this, but the characters are very ooc. I mean, HIDAN got sad when he saw Sakura cry? Really? Hidan, from what I observe, isn't exactly someone who is sympathetic. The entire Akatsuki, drinks more than Kisame? No, no.
I know I'm not the best writer out there, but I'm just trying to help your story. If you don't want the help, fine by me, just don't come crying when someone flames you.
And I've seen some very nasty flames before.
And lastly, this isn't a flame, it's something called constructive criticism.

love it

Good story,continue please

ITS... I have no idea? Lol! I vote Neji! Lol sorry I had to put that! I love this story thought it really good! :)

I think it is Kisame's chakra that she felt. I live the story I

really can't wait for the next chapter please up date soon