wow 10 years later and everyone still wants it continued so, please do

p.s DONKEY

larder to latter

Good story but it’s dead so that is sad

interesting but sad its dead

I can't wait to read more! So awesome and I love your idea! :D

please update. this is a great story

Comtinuala esta buena

Oml finish the story please.

nice I love the omakes keep it up

Pls continue

I'm loving this story too bad that it hasn't been updated in 3 (soon to be 4) years now

I just doesn't feel right to just hand over the power or to use such absolutes. Or at least it doesn't like the best when written out like that. It sounds like a bad tutorial from an old game. I would prefer that he said 'you might as well be immune to all poisons.' And that it they worked like vaccines. Say he at a nightshade berry, he'd have a lesser version of the symptoms for a short time before his body adapts builds a resistance that quickly becomes immunity after several doses. Chemicals can still hurt Alex but without being specially made for him he just adapts and when they are he adapts.

Chakra ain't got jack to do with life, if there's chakra for the four elements and combinations of those four than no chakra is not just for the living. Futhermore, he's not dead, he's neither but still has the qualities necessary to generate chakra. He probably consumed someone and took their chakra coils. Would be interesting if he had to develop someway of manipulating chakra coils themselves to stop them from getting messed up after consuming someone. He should also have a huge amount of chakra considering his mental powers and physical prowess.

While I agree that Alex Mercer would definitely have a large amount of chakra, if for no other reason than consuming others but would he enough to count as a bijou(a being made of pure chakra)? I'm gonna lean towards no, but he'll be the largest humanoid. Furthermore I don't doubt he couldn't become as powerful but it can wait for further into the story.

That is a good question, why the hell did they show favoritism to their children? And why didn't he seal the yang half of Kurama into Naruto, and why didn't he die using the shiki fujin(Think that's the name) you literally trade your soul to use it. Also I love how a character that has yet to do anything and is and have such little air time talk about how it's always about her and not her brother. Irony!

Alright, now I see where the brother relationship comes in. Ha, Naruto's the runt.

See, this is why Ninja keep to such small groups, the truth is the inverse ninja laws are still in effect and the lethality of a ninja drops the more comrades a ninja has initially going into a battle.

Also these ninja suck at their job, the guy has two giant claws for hands, why the hell did you get anywhere near the bastard!

two element jutsu seems a bit extreme for someone with no training other than walking on trees. And if you have to say that he had training from school than you failed at get this across in story as such a 'plothole' should have to be fixed by WoG.

The entire second paragraph is a mess, a giant mess. It's also weak reasoning for him to like Naruto. It's counterproductive to call someone special without showing anything resembling them being special.

Show don't tell, what are they doing that gives them a brotherly relationship? And the mess continues past the second paragraph.

Oh, for a second there I thought you were shipping him with fem!sasuke. Also Sasuke didn't become a jerk until after getting mindfucked by Itachi but as an older brother I think I'll allow it this one time.

You don't need to tell us it's a dream, you could transition by having Naruto closing his eyes, than going straight to the dream or having the dream all in Italic or something. A dream sequence can be gleaned from context prior to falling asleep to the contents of the dream being so crazy and out of place that they can't be anything but.

C'mon! He was already an orphan in canon, you don't give him his parents back just to make him be act like an orphan on the street. And has no one ever seen him with his parents before? Even if he is overshadowed by his sister they have to know him for the sake of comparison between the two. They can't go about saying how great she is compared to him while also not knowing of him. And is there no Hokage family seal that can be used to get help in times of crisis or a single Anbu watching over him for the sole purpose so his parents wouldn't have to? A jounin? Chunin? Genin troupe? C'mon! And I thought it was an compound not a house. Can none of the other Uzumaki or Namikaze open the door? Paid labour? The paid labour are well known for taking pity on the forgotten child of the village/kingdom/empire/etc's leader.

Well, it didn't take long for him to mention killing his father. The scene with promise to Satsuki could have really be saved for later, maybe after Alex and Naruto got to know each other more or when Naruto mentions he want's to go back to the hidden leaf.

Dude... I'm at a lost on what to say to that. A month on the road and he's ready to give him the virus, something he is only just now mentioning. And he is only just now mentioning he's technically dead.(That's not actually the case, as a virus is considered neither dead nor alive and Alex Mercer isn't actually Alex Mercer he's the blacklight virus that took a dead man's name, face, family, and sins. So it's more he's beyond life and death, like he specifically said.) And if he's not willing to say it as it is (that it's a virus not a bloodline) than I don't think he's ready to give the virus to Naruto.

And the mist is? The land of the mist? Right outside the misty moors? Beyond the mist that separates the two worlds? To quote GCN, "Details, they are important."

You know I would say something about Naruto not saying anything about his abilities but almost all of his abilities, when written out are pretty par for the course in the Naruto-verse.

Failure on the Prototype Mythos, Alex didn't work on Project Redlight, which was the project based on targeting specific race types, project blacklight was an effort to, "engineer a version that could copy and combine genetic traits: to re-write living creatures." And that was a resound success wasn't it, Alex.

And Blackwatch was out to kill them because they feared an information leak while Gentek was being investigated.

Details, important, remember.

He's pretty blase about consuming in front of someone who's opinion matters to him. He didn't particularly like it when Dana didn't take well. And he sounds less like Mercer and more like Tom Cruise if Castaway was much darker.

He was already pacing and audience of two?

Did Alex seriously say he was gonna get dizzy? The dude runs faster than a speeding car and walking in a circle makes him dizzy? I think we're talking about two different Mercer's.

I don't think he would like Naruto if he was the kind of person that didn't bat an eyelash at cannibalism.

And just like that, he's fine with it. Practically a vampire and he agrees the first time he's asked, than again after dropping something like this you probably aren't getting a second chance, at anything. Choices aside, you could have gone about this in a much smoother fashion. This is throwing a kid into the deep end hoping he'll comeback up. And would have most definitely scared almost anyone worth giving it too off. The more effective way would have been easing into it, give Naruto information overtime before asking. Have scenes where they get ambushed by bandits and Alex dispatches them with great ease. This is when you say it's a bloodline, when trust is there but not at amazing levels. Have certain days when Alex leaves Naruto at camp and Naruto is scared of the sounds he's hearing in the dead of night. Have Alex having to stop so that Naruto can catch up. Have Naruto notice things that don't sit just right like how Alex goes a long while without blinking or how he forgets to breathe sometimes or his aversion to water. After a while and they've shared enough about each other to fully trust each other, by the time Naruto already knows the basics of his past, that he's from a land at war far away, full of demons or something that had been led by an evil queen. How he has a sister that got hurt during an ambush, that he was on neither side as the monsters existed on both sides. This would be the time that Alex offers his power, after giving the full details of his past and the pros and cons, Naruto agrees, knowing fully what he's getting into. Not the best idea to give such power to a, seven year old? Eh, par for the course.

Self loathing, self hatred, depression, all much more appropriate and grammatically correct than self anger, which isn't a thing.

Go ahead and try and rationalize your neglect, if it was just the neglect from chapter one you might have covered your ass but you repeatedly locking him out to go to parties and you hitting him for learning chakra ain't getting explained away. It's not dangerous enough that you needed to hit and scold him for using it and have no right to do either after you refused to teach him while paradoxically teaching your daughter.

Now using the glass to convey something ominous, alright all for it! Going on to explain that it's ominous right after it happening. Idiot! The point of breaking the glass was for symbolism, the point of which is to get information across without explicitly stating it. Using symbolism is like telling a joke, explaining it kills the joke/symbolism.

As Minato put the photo down a crack hit the air, the glass covering the picture was shattered a spiderweb of cracks covering the pane, and in the center of the web was Naruto. Minato's eyes widen and gaze toward the city limits with a worried look. "Naruto..." he whispered to himself.

He's the fucking heir to their clan and he get's pushed to the side? What the fucking hell? The Uzumaki are all but extinct and they just let their heir to go without any training to prepare him for the political world? The only thing they could've done to push naruto closer to pulling a hamlet is to make him memorize the damn play.

... ... ... ... I don't approve of Hitomi in the least. Her first action of as a character was to act self entitled and show jealousy and anger that Naruto learned something that she didn't. She who has had their parents undivided attention for practically her entire life. Than you tried to switch the character and making her caring sister even though none of them cared a bit in the last four years or so. Now you're trying to push that she has a legitimate connection to him powerful enough to cause her to fall unconscious. No, not buying it. You started her off as a Dudley and tried to change that with little to no effort on anyone's part. No. Even if you didn't have her be a spoiled brat in the beginning, nothing before hand said anything like this was a thing. No intuition to know when he's feeling sad. No completing each other's sentences. No conjoined twins separated at birth. From what you've shown they have little to no actual connection and I'm just not buying a connection like this ever existed let alone exist after he was shunned by everyone. Considering she was only just deciding that maybe she could possibly show Naruto a thing or two, maybe, that until you forced them to, she didn't care about him. So you can take this bullshit cause no one's take'n.

Also, what's with breaking causality? Did the universe really not account for Blacklight? Tsk, tsk, tsk universe, you should've learned from Blackwatch.

Alright, I can see where Naruto is coming from, not wanting to look like Minato but I think it would've been more powerful if it was his own choice and not something out of his control.

All in all, they don't have a strong enough connection for any of this across miles backlash shit, the prophecy isn't an excuse for neglecting your child or preparing your heir for the political landscape that would have eaten him alive if he had been thrust into. You can't say you wanted him to learn about chakra is school when you spend almost every minute with your other child teaching them about chakra. Even the universe isn't prepared for Alex Mercer, Sasuke 'can't help' being a dick and I still say you should have given the choice to Naruto. No I'm not gonna take any, 'he did it subconsciously,' bull. For all intents and purposes he didn't make that choice and should have been saved for after Naruto learns how to control his powers.

Okay, so... was the character assassination necessary? Showing favoritism, okay I can believe it, I guess. Being neglectful past the point of child abuse? You lost me. Utterly lost me. I cannot believe there was no other way for Naruto to end up in the hands of Alex Mercer. I can think of plenty that don't involve any character assassination.

Alex could have been passing through the village and was interested in Naruto since everyone seems to hate the kid even though he's not doing anything. He sees a kindred spirit and saves him from a group of Anbu who go rogue and kidnap him so they could punish him for what the nine tails did. Naruto goes back to the village only slightly traumatized, overhears how people are sullen that he's still around, and like that the village is dead to him. Depression onsets, Naruto is sitting on top of the mountain, looking out at the village, he get's closer to the edge, Alex comes in, talks him down and they leave the village together.

Or going from after he's been captured, they try to kill him, the nine tails attacks killing them, Alex walks in while he's still in fox mode and holds him down until he calms down. Naruto thinks he's a monster Alex goes on about being a monster isn't bad, shows off what he is, Naruto get's scared when Alex senses that the nin sent to rescue him are coming Alex offers to take him with him and they ride off to have adventures.

Alex could be hiding as some nin, moves to Konoha, and formally takes him on as his apprentice.

Alex could've walked in during the bridge arc, kills Zabuza, and after going back to Konoha with them, stays for a while, see's how Naruto is treated, and decides to take him out of there, thinking that the treatment would ruin him.

Alex, being from before Kaguya, is searching for the reincarnation of his old friend Indra and intends to stop Black Zetsu from pitting him and Asura's reincarnation against one another once more.

There were plenty of different options. Furthermore, if you're going to make them terrible parents, at least have keep to your guns it instead of making a one eighty AFTER he decides to leave. And Hitomi's gonna have to suffer several punches of humility to the face before I start to care about the spoiled brat, right after Minoto and Kushina get torn holes bigger than the ones that killed them in canon from someone. Preferably by Hiruzen. Then move on to Jiraya and Tsunade. And I see you didn't mention the third. I would not be giving this any chance if Hiruzen was portrayed neglecting Naruto. You can go fuck yourself if that's the case. The village really didn't have any reason to treat the kid as an outcast. Would they have treated him as well as the prodigy Jinchuuriki that saved them? Hell no, but the fact that he isn't her wouldn't mean they ostracize him. The fact that his parents do it is SoD breaking enough, an entire village of people for the same exact reasons? That fall flat fast than Mercer doing a bullet dive. And for someone who only know the basics, he sure outsmart his father, who was one of the greatest users of fuinjutsu ever.

You've probably heard this before but: Show Don't Tell. Where you are describing an important scene you could have been showing us this scene. Telling is talking about how something is going on, showing is showing it going on. You told us that Naruto is forgotten at the side, where you could have shown us Naruto standing in the background during one of Hitomi's lessons internally screaming about how he wanted to do that too but couldn't because Kushina and Minoto told him in stereo not to interrupt her lessons. Or how after a lesson they all go to Ichiraku's to celebrate but leave Naruto out, hiding their neglect behind the excuse that he didn't like ramen. Also, is a seven year old really complaining about how unhealthy ramen is? Really? Or using the word sodium over the word salt?

So all in all, I don't think you needed to give Naruto parents just to make them terrible people, or a sister to give him insecurities. These village people are bigger dicks than canon as they have no reason to hate Naruto this time round. It's latter not larder, they don't celebrate christmas as far as we can tell, and if Hiruzen is his grandfathery self this entire world could burn for all I care.

update please