A decade has passed and im still hopeful for closure.

Well, as it has been said, you could probably use a beta reader just for grammar. That... that's really the only complaint I had about the story, that it was a little hard to read at times due to punctuation or missing words. Other than that, I loved the concept. Are you going to continue this story, or is it pretty much dead? I can understand if you don't plan on continuing it, there seems to be a lot of hate for this pairing for some reason. Ah well, just wanted to let you that I enjoyed it, and if you do write more on it, then I'm interested.

apparently, i just made this account and just join a few days ago. so that might be impossible

and one more thing... if you cant take critics, then its not my fault. i mean. i did say, ill stop reading it. and yeah, i know you wrote that 2005 way back before, why? does that mean we cant leave comments. i also recall to say sorry, but i will stop reading this. dont take all the blames to one people who has an account. at least im straight forward to tell you that i dont like it, and i dont need to hide by being anonymous. so ciao! i cant stop my flames and opinion apparently. freedom of speech! and yeah, i got to agree again to those who flame you! the pairing sucks! either shampoo should be with mousse and love ranma, and you cant do anything about it! its in the anime and in the manga.

Hello all, Demino here.

I'm sorry to say that I will not remove this story despite teh hard work by a lameass troll to convice me otherwise with his preschool grammer and ALL CAPS reviews.

Really, did you think using a different username each time and sticking to Anonymous Reviews would convince me otherwise, In fact, I'd liek to use this time urge everyone to write a small Ryoga and Shampoo story and post it here on since Yuck likes them so much he feels he has to review it so often under so many names.

And Yuck, Calilo, Reported and Disgustingpairever, go dunk your head in a used toilet.

PS.

I've turned Anonymous Reviews off just for you.

umm just receive your reply.. and you closed your private message, first of all, i happened to just stumble here just yesterday, and im new at fanfic, most of all, i know this ranma 1/2 since i 1994, so the title of your story is correct, its very unlikely and odd.. and if you read the manga, or the anime, you must even be dreaming to make some fanfic about them,and i have a life not to send those spam reviews, cause seriously, i just agreed to those who reviewed them. and that is why i will not read this kind of fic anymore. dont be a sore loser, cause its just my flames. i dont like your pairing that is all. i agree with the other reviews. oh, before you accused that i send those, apparently i didnt send those, as you can see, i dont even know that i can leave a review even if i wasnt log in. and i did find out earlier i can. its not my fault those rants were being thrown to you, maybe because it does really sucks.

shampoo is much better with mousse, or taro, not with him.. sorry.. not my liking.. i will stop reading it... worse and odd pair

Although not often matched your pairing of Shampoo and Ryoga was comical and a delight to read. I regret the fact that you have not had the time to complete the entire story arch, but I am appreciative of what I was allowed to read. Thank you.

I did enjoy this story as I tend to like oddball pairings and I would very much like to see you finish it.

That being said, my only gripe with the story is I still cringe periodically when I catch a spelling error or a grammatical error.

That's just the way I am, sorry.

Chapter 1

the boy rolled over in the chair

[and fell out of it?]

Ryouga Hibiki, also know as the eternally

[Spelling: known]

and hugged the dog tightly

[Missing closing period.]

“It good to see you again girl”

[Spelling/punctuation: It's, missing period following 'girl'.]

Getting a happy woof in return Ryouga

[Missing comma after 'return']

Rolling over she sat up in the bed

[Missing comma after 'over']

through her thruoth

[Spelling: throat. Missing closing period.]

“Shampoo no feel so good”

[Missing closing period.]

look around the hallway

[Missing closing period.]

“Aiya Where is Shampoo!”

[Punctuation: missing exclamation point before 'Where', and missing a question mark (which interrogatives generally need to end with).]

through her head “Shampoo, stop yelling now”

[Missing closing periods in both sentences.]

and shook his head “hmm…

[Missing closing period after 'head'.]

Guess she finally woke up”

[Missing closing period.]

on the floor and smiled

[Missing closing period.]

until our guest comes down”

[Missing closing period.]

and get her so we can eat”

[Missing closing question mark – this is an interrogative.]

Barking in relay Shirokuro

[in _reply_]

Turning back Around

[Capitalization: around. Missing comma after 'around'.]

“Hiya”

[Missing closing punctuation.]

as her stress level rose again

[Missing closing period.]

Stop that, let go of my sleeve!

[Missing quote marks.]

“Shirokuro, stop it”

[Missing closing period.]

“What’s going on”

[Missing closing question mark.]

in the door opening

[Missing closing period.]

Yes? Shampoo didn’t even notice

[Missing quotation marks.]

sat down to look at her

[Missing closing period.]

“Look if you don’t

[Missing comma after 'Look']

Why should I do that?

[Missing quotation marks.]

away a few of her dirty bangs

[Missing closing period.]

to replace what you have lost”

[Missing closing period.]

Looking at the cup he moved it away

[Missing closing period.]

A Minute later her eyes

[Capitalization: minute]

the table at Ryouga

[Missing closing period.]

Crossing her arms Shampoo snorted

[Missing commas after 'arms', 'snorted'.]

“Shampoo no need your… growl … well maybe just a little”

[Missing closing period. But still funny.]

stomach protested against her

[Missing closing period.]

“Pig-boy no smirk at Shampoo”

[Missing closing period.]

table he looked back up her

[Missing closing period.]

“Ryouga, my name is Ryouga”

[Missing closing period.]

Shampoo rasp berried him as

[I think the gesture is called a rasberry, either that 'raspberry' without the space.]

he stared up at her

[Missing closing period.]

what ever Shampoo want”

[Missing closing period.]

Part II

didn’t want to stay in her stomach

[Missing closing period.]

“Shampoo need go bathroom”

[Missing closing period.]

and up the stairs

[Missing closing period.]

from upstairs came the sound

[Capitalization: From]

Ryouga shook his head

[Missing closing period.]

“Guess break fest is over for now.

[Spelling: breakfast]

I better clean the dishes”

[Missing closing period.]

and smiled gently

[Missing closing period.]

at least you like my food”

[Missing closing period.]

Sighing Ryouga pattered her and stood up

[Missing closing period.]

her face as moaned

[Missing comma after 'moaned']

“Shampoo no feel so good”

[Missing closing period.]

Holding a hand over her mount

[A mount is something ridden – generally equines (horses). Is this misspelling for 'mouth'?]

make it up to being his fault

[Missing closing period.]

“Shampoo no need help”

[Missing closing period.]

Kneeling down in front of her Ryouga

[Missing comma after 'her']

put his hand on her for-head

[Spelling: forehead. Missing closing period.]

looked into her eyes and hummed

[Missing closing comma]

Shampoo knocked his hand away

[Missing closing period]

Amazon no get sick so easy”

[Missing closing period]

Humping,

[Spelling: humphing]

and looked at her “Fine be that way”

[Missing closing periods after 'her', 'way']

staring right back at her

[Missing closing period.]

seen dog like you before”

[Missing closing period.]

she could would just a little and she go back to the…

[she could what?]

Slowly a great tear form in her eye

[Don't use bad grammar in the narrative, just in her dialog. 'Formed' maintains your story verb tense.]

and went into a cramp,

[Missing closing period.]

stiffing a yelp from the sudden pain shooting through,

[Spelling: stifling, missing 'her' after 'through']

just like Shampoo”

[Missing closing period.]

Shampoo looked up happy

[Missing comma after 'up']

as Ryouga left the room

[Missing closing period.]

of my cousins clothes

[Punctuation: cousin's]

you look to be about the same size”

[Missing closing period.]

and replaced by a cold edge unsettled Shampoo

[edge _that_ unsettled]

Ten the anger of someone

[Spelling: Then]

her purple hair covering her face and confusion she was having

[Missing closing period. And bad grammar – to the point of obfuscated sentence.]

I never care for him, He just

[If it's not following a period, 'he' isn't capitalized]

get violent girl away from Arien”

[Missing closing period.]

dirt and grime smeared over it

[Missing closing period.]

stopped outside the guestroom

[Missing closing period.]

everything’s changed, somehow

[Due to the separation of idea, a stronger separator than a comma is needed.]

Ranma this is all your fault”

[Missing closing period.]

better clean it up before someone drops by”

[Missing closing period. I also want to point out that this is an abrupt departure of his goal to find clothes from his cousin for Shampoo, which he then goes straight back to doing. This might be better cut.]

like it would fit Shampoo

[Missing closing period.]

that will have to do for now”

[Missing closing period.]

by going trough his house

[Missing closing period.]

“I brought some clothes for you”

[Missing closing period.]

door Ryouga turned to leave

[Missing comma after 'door', and closing period]

anything I’m downstairs”

[Missing closing period.]

pills she had taken earlier was working

[Maintain number: were]

the Kodak moment sitting on the porch

[Missing closing period.]

“Shampoo have question for lost boy”

[Missing closing period.]

the uncertainty in her eyes

[Missing closing period.]

in his eyes as he regarded her

[Missing closing period.]

other when they need it”

[Spelling: others. Missing closing period]

beside he did think off her as a friend,

[Spelling: besides]

purple hair cover her face

[Missing closing period.]

“Is not allowed to help outcast”

[Missing closing period.]

word then he looked at her

[Missing comma after 'word', closing period]

and hid her face

[Missing closing period.]

fail in marrying male Ranma”

[Missing closing period.]

hard enough to draw blood

[Missing closing period.]

to be Amazon anymore”

[Missing closing period.]

To bad Ryouga is not of them.

[Spelling: Too]

banging him with a mini umbrella

[Missing closing period.]

a plan that would give her an honorable death at least

[Missing closing period.]

Amazon’s have great pride,

[Punctuation: Amazons]

Ryouga shook his head

[Missing closing period.]

No one got in the way of her,

[Repetition of sentence structure – besides being bad grammar. 'No one got in her way']

Ryouga looked at her calmly

[Missing closing period.]

I wasn’t so popular when I woke up”

[Missing closing period.]

men in jeeps waving around guns

[Missing closing period.]

drinking is not the answer”

[Missing closing period.]

forget she failure to village”

[Missing closing period.]

deep red color

[Missing comma after 'color']

she pulled out her bonboris

[Look up 'bonbori' on .com or wikipedia, it's a paper lantern. The solid-sphere maces that Shampoo uses are called 'chúi', or you can just refer to them as maces to avoid any confusion.]

forget she ever come to Nerima”

[Missing closing period.]

like they could hurt if they hit

[Missing closing period.]

and slowly backed up

[Missing closing period.]

Shampoo fight till death”

[Missing closing period.]

do something and very fast

[Missing closing period.]

Part I

the other end of the city part.

[Wow. Bad grammar.]

as a boy stormed right through it,

['stormed' implies slower movement, not the sudden burst that sprinting would have and seems to better belong in this instance.]

Some, Shirokuro had the feeling

[Somehow?]

No matter where A Hibiki went,

[Capitalization: a]

into a one more insane and unlike thing after another.

[Extraneous 'a'. The 'and unlike' is also superfluous.]

through another wall

[Missing closing period.]

and threw her bonboris aside

[Missing closing period.]

“No talk, fight or die”

[Missing closing period.]

Ryouga gulped as Shampoo pulled out a sword from nowhere, a very large sword.

[If you're going to attempt to elaborate ('a very large sword') you might as well give some more information. Based on the few times I've seen it, I'd say that her blade is probably a crescent sword (think a glaive, just with a shorter handle and heavier blade).]

Mousse had been grinning like an insane

[Wow, more horrible grammar/word choice. 'like a madman' would be correct.]

and she still hadn’t cooled off

[Missing closing period.]

in 100 operation condition.

[QuickEdit eats mathematical operators like the percent sign. And shouldn't that say 'operational'?]

and stared at Ryouga

[Missing closing period.]

“That family hair loom, you no get away with braking”

[Missing closing period. Spelling: heirloom, breaking]

as he felt a migraine forming

[Missing closing period.]

“Look will you forget about the sword”

[Missing closing question mark.]

had always gotten the lost boy angry

[Interrogative missing its question mark.]

Her voice sound a little to high and the

[Missing the rest of the sentence.]

could have just left you”

[Missing closing punctuation.]

pulled out from pocket space

[Missing closing punctuation.]

Ryouga nearly cried in frustration “what is

[Missing closing/transitioning punctuation. Capitalization.]

your problem. I only

[A question mark should follow 'problem'.]

and you try to kill me”

[Missing closing punctuation.]

“if you didn’t want to answer

[Capitalization]

all you had to do was say so”

[Missing closing punctuation.]

Ryouga took a step back

[Missing closing punctuation.]

I’m going home”

[Missing closing punctuation.]

and half turned to face her

[Missing closing punctuation.]

“As I said, I’m going home”

[Missing closing punctuation.]

Shampoo lowered her weapon

[Missing closing punctuation.]

spoke in a calm voice

[Missing closing punctuation.]

honor tells me not to fight girls”

[Missing closing punctuation.]

and covered her eye

[What, she only has one eye?]

before sopping loudly and painfully

[Spelling: sobbing. Also missing closing punctuation.]

just like rest of Tribe”

[Missing closing punctuation.]

longer wearing the bandanna

[Missing closing punctuation.]

“Shampoo…Sorry”

[Missing closing punctuation.]

Totally unprepared

[She already broke down crying, how is it a surprise that she keeps crying?]

while he was making shooting sounds.

[Ryouga's not particularly skilled in social interactions, and even if he could think to make _soothing_ sounds I doubt he'd be assertive enough to do so. He's already being potentially out of character by reaching out to touch her.]

blood under Ryouga’s nose

[Missing closing punctuation.]

“Silly Ryouga”

[Missing closing punctuation.]

Standing on a rooftop Mousse

[Missing comma for the transition between 'rooftop and 'Mousse'.]

carry Ryouga so gently

['so gently' is superfluous. There's also no closing punctuation.]

No one”

[Missing closing punctuation.]

and just how id that

[did]

Ryouga boy get involved in all this”

[Missing closing punctuation.]

held in Shampoo’s arms

[Missing closing punctuation.]

of that, thank you”

[Missing closing punctuation.]

she moved up behind Mousse

[Missing closing punctuation.]

towards the one who had spoken

[Missing closing punctuation.]

“Stay out of this”

[Missing closing punctuation.]

Growling as Cologne deflected

[The verb tense doesn't match – either use present tense (-ing) or past tense (-ed), not both.]

caught it on the way down

[Missing closing punctuation.]

stick and twirled it in the air

[Missing closing punctuation.]

Mousse growled and dropped the knife onto the roof

[Why is he throwing away a perfectly good weapon he has control of? That's not his pattern, he'd sheathe it and plan to use it later. Also missing closing punctuation.]

to stop me for ever”

[Missing closing punctuation.]

Shampoo will be mine”

[Missing closing punctuation.]

OMFG! *.* please hurry up!

i love it

i love it

i love it

i love it

i love it

i love it

i love it

i love it

i love it

i love it

i love it

I like this so far, and everyone is believaable, with one exception: Mousse knows better than to directly defy Cologne.

Love it, keep Ryouga be visiting the springs agin?

Nice story, i like it. hope you update it soon

oh she got drunk? now that's funny!