I really love reading this and hoping there is more I saw chamber of secrets on your page and am going to go read that now! Really hope you keep going with all the books!

Great job with this! It was really good. Whitney’s character did seem a bit wimpy at first but it did improve towards the end. While it followed the original storyline of Harry Potter, it did have an unique twist. I just hope Whitney’s friendship with Hermione improves.

There is obvious deficit of kids storries, which you can read them in the evening. I am not kid for long long time, but I've read your story and added it to follow list :) So, I guess that it says something :) However, try to move as far as possible from JKR books. Your set of relations should already make a lot of differences. Thanks and good-luck :)

Just 3 things. Ok not rlly relating to the story. Why is some books say philosiphers stone. But some are sorcuers /sry if i spell wrong/ And pl Make more of thissss. One final thing. I love Whitney but Will she when she is nervous and when shd talks will she be less stumbley. Im not ttying to like... But im jusy ask
.Me

Very good try. I hope that you had some strengths to go through all years, as well as to change much from fundamentals.

HG behavior is mostly defenceive in the situation, when she got to know about magic so short time ago. So, that is not much about moment, when she almost died. She just was accepted.

It goes well. Reaction of NL a bit too much, but axpectable.

I am just guessing, is HG a boy? :)

At least it starts quite interesting. Maybe not much text in text, but defenitely it has the thought.

you are referring to the troll in the bathroom yes

no one should get left behind

why not just take her to Hogwarts ahead of time, you saw how bad her home life is.

you're going to be getting that a lot my dear

if I could get a hold of those horrid people there wouldn't be enough of them left to fill a thimble

some people don't need to procreate