THAT WAS SOOO SWEET! So Noel DOES have a loving side.. I love the way he treasures Serah and all that cuddling and kissing just makes them... OMG I'm out of words.. THIS IS GOOD.. SO SO GOOD..
Any sequel? :D

This is beautiful...

After reading this, I made the loudest "AWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!" sound ever

This was really cute

I don't think this had poor language at all! The language was what caught my attention at first. Some words, I'll admit, I didn't quite understand. This type of writing style is exactly what I want to achieve. This story will serve as inspiration. Thank you for writing such a great piece :)

This really was a joy to read.

You almost had me crying (in a good way! Don't worry!) because I just loved everything about this. I hope you keep on writing, it's really, really good!

So damn adorable! _

Hey! So, here I am, as per request.

The feeling behind this is obvious - you really care about what happens to these characters and their romance! You brought the drama too, with Serah's forgetting who Lightning was. That was something I haven't seen before. It struck me as very creative.

Mechanically, this wasn't doing it for me. I found that there was an excess of adjectives and adverbs, and word choice was awkward at times. This hindered the flow of story for me. The feeling or action you are trying to bring across can just as easily be described in fewer words, in a more natural manner.

That said, you've got their characterizations down fairly well. Noel really does care deeply for Serah, and Serah clinging to the notion of marrying Snow out of her own fear seems very realistic. They got a tad dramatic at times for me, but then again, the subject of love is a dramatic one, huh? Haha. Good thing you brought in Mog to lighten things up! That was very cute, by the way.

Best of luck in your future writing endeavors!

you can't possibly imagine how much i enjoyed reading this ~

thank you so much for posting this, it made my day! (: