Can't stop reading and it's late! Love your portrayal of all the guys! Ps Kai is great. Yay for a short guy with a tall girl! I'm short myself, but I have many tall friends that would appreciate that!

Great start! I love the attention you've given each of the four girls. Elli is such a sweetheart! I have portrayed her as not so good either in one story, but in another she's great. I also like how Karen isn't a mega bitch. (At least from what I've read.) Definitely and interesting beginning. Will stop bombing you with reviews now! Lol

Like the setup here so far. I'm glad I'm not the only one who see's Sasha as kind of a bitch. I also love your depiction of Mary. Going to keep reading now. But this is a great start.

Aaaawsome! I really like the ending of this one, and how you described Stu (he reminds me of my brother when he was little).
And what's with Carter's tattoos? I'm really curious- wait. Is he a baddie?!

I'm so glad you've updated again! This is one of my favorite fanfictions! Your character portrayal is always spot-on and I love the way you've made Harvest Moon your own without taking away the feel of it from the story. I can't wait for your next update!

This fic is really interesting. Please continue! I'm curious with the boys' role in this fic.

Haha, I never imagined Popuri to be so tall XD
This chapter was awesome!

I'm wriggling in my seat right now, I loved it so much.

There are nowhere near enough harvest moon adventure stories out there and this one is so well written. I can tell it's going to be a real treasure to read _

I'm glad to see you're updating again! I've missed reading your story quite a bit! This installment was fantastic (as usual). I love how you portray the characters and all the things you put into your writing. :) It still retains the Harvest Moon feel but it completely unique as well :D Keep up the awesome work!

This most likely goes without saying but, yes. Yes, that long guest review is mine. xD

Sorry about that! Also, I only read through it a few times so if some things aren't clear please let me know. I'd be happy to clarify.

Warning: this review is going to be a lot more constructive than my usual ones. I still love your story and have praises for this chapter at the end of the review. But first:
The writing for this chapter was repetitive, bland and seemed far closer to an outline than a finished chapter. (I apologize for being blunt. This review is simply too long to ease into saying it.)
One of the main contributors for this is that you only 'told' the story. Elli did this, Karen did that and oh, hey Popuri was there too and she did this. I agree that there is a certain extent to which action scenes need to be quick to continue momentum and make the reader 'feel in the moment' (as well as add to the contrast to Mary's last planned attack) but you paid a heavy cost with no little profits in this situation. Your battles (especially the first four) lacked reader presence.
This probably stems from your writing style often mimicking that of a comic book, which is great in moderation. However if you aren't careful it's chapters like these where it starts to lose novelty and comes of poorly written. Be careful to add comic book flare only as a stylistic tool.
Also consider your blocking more seriously. Show where the girls are and get in their heads, even if it's momentarily. What does it feel like for Elli when she's steel and pelted with bullets? Are they like pin pricks or can she not feel it at all and just hears the bullets reflecting. Does the steel still make her hold her breath? Does the idea of throwing herself in-front of a motorcycle make her nervous, does she act against instinct? The list could go on and on but the point is you need to put the reader in the moment. A battle is not simply the stating blow by blows while writing. It is also the reactions, the pain of a hit, endurance and the quick thoughts one has while in battle. Focus on those more.
Similarly a conversation isn't just the dialog and facts. Luke's description of thinking of the Siren's as ghosts, for example, was wonderful but now good enough. What did that moment right then look like? How did the girls look in person? Is it different than he pictured. What did that specific roof top look like? Were the girls dusted up from the previous battle, were they breathing heavy? Paint the picture better!
Most importantly you NEED to work on your pacing. Not just the balance of description and action or showing and telling (although though those too) but your PACING. I may have touched on this in reviews past, but your chapters are consistently all action or all reflection (this chapter in contrast to the one where you introduced the costumes for example) and nothing in-between. I mean FOUR sections of this chapter were basically the same battle! Never-mind that I don't even know how the girls got to all these battles (on opposite sides of town) they were repetitive and therefore boring. I don't know the Reapers names, they all could've been the same men to me. Nothing stuck out as different in four battles. Each time the Reapers hardly put up a fight, the police were useless and gaping and the girls were snarky every, single, time. Did these battles even need to be shown?
Had I wrote this chapter I would have said that yes, these battles were necessary BUT, off screen. The purpose of these battles (correct me if I'm wrong) was not defeating the Reaper's. But were actually about setting up Luke's internet presentation of the girls and his working relationship with them.
I think, (had I tried to approach this chapter) I would've kept the scene on the roof. (Where the girls pulled in Luke.) Then after that I would have cut it. Maybe I'd consider keeping that first bit of Elli walking out between the cars toward the Reapers for dramatic flair, but then I would've cut it and not shown the battle. This would add suspense instead of subtracting it and keep up Brodick's threat.
The battles could then be told in retrospective commentary and most importantly by Luke. Instead of telling us Luke was filming from the side lines, dive the reader right in and show them what he'd done. I already assume your going to do this and had you set it up this way it wouldn't be repetitive like it likely will when you do it now.
The next scene could have been back in Mineral Town with Karen look at his website coverage. You could still have the dramatic features of the girls that you showed in the battle but 'edited' by Luke they would come of less cheesy, more dramatic and most importantly they would do this while advancing the plot. They could also prompt the flashback to Karen's battle which seemed pertinent. (She was totally checking out Gill! EEEP!) I'll admit it could prove problematic for your ending kumbaya over Mary's plans but I think it would be worth it. You could have that conversation later in retrospect. For example as the girls watch the footage they could comment on the dramatic difference in their successes. Or maybe not.
Really what 'I' would do isn't important. I do know that. My point more so is that I think you should be more aware of pacing. Experiment with it some I think it'd make reading more interesting. Every important point in this chapter could have been hit in half or even a third of the space and left more room for character development or better plot advancement. So in conclusion, take a look at in moment descriptions and your pacing, pacing, pacing!
On a quicker note, when Elli first showed up a Reaper said this:
"It's her!" Butcher said. "It's HER!"
You then followed up immediately with this:
NOT remembering the last time they tangled with Elli clearly in the midst of their crime, they swung their guns around and began wildly firing,
You contradicted yourself. I think you meant they didn't specifically remember her powers, but recognized her as a Siren. However I had to read the sentence several times to get that. Perhaps if they shouted it was a 'Siren' or 'them' instead of specifically 'her' it would help. Or maybe just not shout at all. Or something, I don't know just take a look at it.
Also (this is just a word of caution) you were very 'bitch' heavy in your descriptions of the Sirens this chapter. I understand the Reapers are harsh men and a few curses to the wind are character development. They probably /are/ that simple minded and this would be their first thought seeing the girls. But I'd be careful to use it too often. It goes back to being repetitive.
I know I harped heavily on the battles at the beginning of this chapter. But casting that aside momentarily I do want to praise that the last 'battle'. (With Maurder) Which was very well done. That introduction was very nice and very iconic. One of the moments where being similar to a comic book ENHANCED the description.
This section where you commented that the cheers were the most adoration Karen had ever received and it's throw back to Popuri was great. Both thoughtful and insightful to Karen's character, very nice!
I very much enjoyed your exploration of Mayor Gill and his relationship with the Reapers in this chapter. I wondered how they interacted and I thought it was interesting. Such a huge slant in the politics seems necessary in the town so run with crime but it's secret makes it suspenseful and also sets up Gill as a stronger villain. However, with Karen's interest in Gill I do wonder if knowing his slant is too much information too soon. There is a suspense it knowing but there is also a shock in later betrayal. Either way though it's a great set up and I can't wait to read more of it!
Now speculations: I wonder if Luke working so close with them will backfire. Will the public eventually use this to claim a skewed slant toward the girls? Will it endanger Luke?
And... A crush on GILL! AHHHHHHH! The possibilities. AHHHHHHH! (Clearly I've just lost all coherence. xD)

This story is awesome!

So I'm sorry it's taken so long for me to post. When you first uploaded this chapter I had written my usual novel review and then lost it when my computer unexpectedly restarted. It's hard to go back and remember everything I had written and I'm sure I missing things but I wanted to get this up before your next chapter. (Which I'm excited to read of course!)

So first thing first, I want to compliment your decision to make Takakura a detective. You consistently have so many fun Easter egg characters and I can often only catch a hand-full of them because of my limited game play. (For example, I'm sure Toby is a shout out but I couldn't tell you where from.) I think casting Takakura as an old and hardened detective is wonderful.
My only concern about this decision is the current state of the city, which is pretty much in shambles. (I mean after this chapter it's clear that the criminals don't end at the Reaper's crew.) I worry that without more explanation this conflicts with Takakura's description. Wouldn't how rapid crime is in this city reflect badly on a detective like Takakura? When things are this bad in a city I can't help but imagine that law enforcement is being questioned and blamed for it's state. So if Takakura is so old and clearly incompetent with technology why is he still on the force when officials are most likely searching so hard for an escape goat?
Perhaps this is what you wanted and it will play into the plot in the future. If not though I'd be curious to hear a little more on Takakura's past. Just a little reasoning, like perhaps he came out of retirement to help. Maybe he was the best of the best in his day and when things got bad he was asked to return. Or maybe I'm just thinking on it too much, that's always a possibility.

Reading through the con and then as the battle started, the several mentions of cameras made me excited for the future chapters. Mary said it herself, after this battle there will be no going back. They're going to be splashed all over the internet in seconds. (Helped along by Luke I'm sure. It was fun to see his instant reaction be filmming this all instead of running for cover.)
I thought that this battle addressed the girls lack of fighting experience very well. Yes, they now have super powers to give them an advantage, but they've still never fought before. Especially when put up-against people who do have experience (people who are trained fighters) their powers aren't necessarily going to protect them. They aren't invincible. I'll be curious to see how they work to fix this problem and if this realization will change any of their thoughts on being the Siren's. I mean before the battle even started Elli had already been having second thoughts of calling the police. This day in the city could easily be one of discouragement as it could be encouragement for the Sirens.

Karen turned well into the girls spokesperson while talking to Takakura and it's important to note she was the one who warranted enough attention to receive that mysterious note. (Which she didn't mention to the other girls... Ooo.) I've speculated about it before and I think it's coming true. Karen is quickly becoming the leader to the public's eye. Set aside whether she truly is or even if she is the best for the job. Mary impressed me though in how harshly she confronted Karen. As I think about it I don't believe I've ever see a depiction of Mary quite this determined and headstrong and I like it.

Lastly, could I suggest that you go back and edit the paragraph where the gun ships first start attacking? Just make it clearer that they aren't attacking the con. Both times I've read this I've become instantly confused as to why this clearly calculated attack was carried out on a convention center. The first clue you get that it isn't is when you mention a man who is wearing a lab coat, but even that is flimsy with all the costumes at Comic Con.

I have finally, finally gotten around to reading this story, and I am SO glad that I did. It is so imaginative, original, and different from any other harvest moon fanfic I have read. I love it, and it is inspiring. Great work, I can't wait to read your future updates. I am so excited to see this play out ! :D