Percy the assassin? HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

LLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMEEEEEEEEEEEEE

this story in two words: Acceleration YES

when your foreshadowing is a little to obvious

Meh. It’s rushed. There are no emotions. Real characters would make more emotional decisions.

You sure he’s not evil? Maybe make a prologue next time.

Percy being a son of Kronos did nothing for the story at all. It really didn't seem like his heritage made any big changes. Really, you could've just left that out and it wouldn't have had any impact. Even the assassin stuff did nothing. It's like you forgot what story you were writing halfway through so you decided to just rewrite the original Lightning Thief.

This story is really rushed, which is upsetting, because it could have been extremely good.

OMG YESSSSSS MY MOM IS EXACTLY LIKE THAT LIKE MAKE UP UR MIND MAN

Your story is really rushed

You don't have to rush to get to the guest. In the books, Percy doesn't even get the quest until about halfway.

The end felt rushed. Percy just runs away, jumps in a lake, finds a cave with magic armor, and immediately figures everything out. I feel like he should have been a bit more confused that he was the son of two immortals and a mortal. Overall though, it is a good idea and I feel like you just wanted to get the beginning out of the way.

Cringy as heck. The plot armor is thick with this one. A good concept, poorly executed however.

Good thinking bout god of message s

It feels rushed. The part where Percy finds the cave too fast perhaps hint of the cave on how he found it earlier or something

MOM FREAKING POWER!

i agree that happens tl me all the time