The brainwashing thing is beyond bad and the story would be better served if you removed it and just had her panic about being stuck in a dark confined space.

This is going just a bit too far towards that flaming ball of negativity route normally you dont throw in a last boss level threat into a story this early. I'm just gonna stop here I really liked this novel till the whole 4000 birds attack thing.

M8 don't hate. Appreciate.

You waste three chapters for the event that should have ended in 15 minutes.

You write shit, you shouldn't write fanfiction

“Do you have a name little one?” YEAH, like a NEWBORN would have a name after she JUST HATCHED!

… did you just tell me that Pikachu tried to murder Ash (according to your rules)

… then again, he was an asshole.

"Even more birds!"

watch?vNR4iM8jriB0&t77s

I'm up from my nap lol

I went on a year long break from Pokemon fanfiction and this is the last story i read before that lol

I need MOAR

I like it without the text just slightly more and also love this i was worried it was abandoned

very good

I need a nap.

awesome

Thanks again for another awesome chapter. Man, Red's silent antics never get old do they (*Chuckle*). Lol. Good luck with your next chapter, and as always have fun writing.