Veri n1c3AZZst0rii1

I am knew to this fanfic site, but I really like you fanfic and would be really happy to see an continuation (I know it's 2 years already). It's a pretty nice read, but you will have to explain how and why Matsuri contacted and found them. Well, it's pretty good, hope you are still active and continou this even after 2 years :D

...just realized...im like the youngest T.T

Hey, I just realized that you should send me your first chapter (aka Prologue), since there are so many more details you can add.
And that giant paragraph... It's a bit headache-inducing. But I just realized how much I like the introductions of the characters! :3

Haha, chapter 3's review... There shouldn't be TOO many grammar mistakes...or I'd cry :(

1. Maybe, but Avery and Kevil are the two emotionally strongest people I have seen. Maybe they were just trying to keep it cool so the others wouldn't be afraid. That sounded like them. They know when it's time for fun and games, but they keep it together whenever their leadership is needed.

Awwww that's so sweet of you! Now I can actually tell my mom that I don't need to go into ASB or other leadership crap... :)

2. Like a month before all this happened, Kevil had stolen Avery's backpack and thrown it in the ditch. I had went to retrieve it only to return finding Kevil laying down in a corner, gasping for air.

Ahahahaha, I think that would actually happen one day when we're out of school... :)

3. After they finish playing, it looks as if they had come back from a hot spring.

LOLZ Do you know what people would do in hot springs? XD Take a guess You know me best; you can't get this one wrong!

Yayz, not a lot of grammar mistakes! :) *happy dance* I AM STILL AWESOME AT GRAMMAR! :3

You know, you should change your summary; it's not very...attractive... I suppose...

And my username is now "Averial Flames", fyi :)

Now for a very DETAILED review...as in, I'm reading every word while telling you my thoughts about it XD After all, I get 9999 words! :D

This is for Chapter 2 :)

1. One good thing about me is that I'm good at thinking in tough situations. Like I remember one time I had found a kitten drowning in a flowing river. I quickly jumped in and saved it. I had my phone, camera, and flashlight with me. Even though I knew they were going to get ruined I saved that kitten because a life is more precious than any amount of money in the world.

KYAHAHAHAHAHA! Lies, I tell you! You would NOT think like that! WAYYYYY too chivalrous for you! Meh, it's fun to read though XD

2. "Hear what?" Justin asked?

Please spot the mistake yourself. So damn obvious.

3. In an instant Avery performed what I would call "The Death Punch".

...do you really call it that? D: Now I fear I'm getting a BIT too violent...

4. Before we got to it one of the strangers said, "Don't bother it doesn't work.".

Double periods...suck :( In both ways.

5. We really were in Japan,...

Aren't we supposed to be in America? They do not have Yogurtland's in Japan...me thinks...

OMFJ OH NO YOU DIDN'T!

Inner Grammar Nazi: I did NOT just finish an epic chapter only to get pissed off when I see that second to last word... *eye twitch*

"I am Armelion and this is my groups story."

Can you see what's wrong? *evil glare* The first one should be obvious... "my group's story"! APOSTROPHE S!

And the second one... comma before "and"! Since in this case, "and" is a conjunction. Thus, you must add a comma to combine the sentences together! :(

Inner HOLIER-THAN-THOU: Change it. Soon, if not now.

lol i like adding "chan" after my name XD don't know why, but it sounds better LOLZ

hey, if you, me, and kevin have the "worst-nosebleeds-of-our-lives-that-are-not-caused-by-reading-porn", does that mean we're the main characters? :D

KYAHHHHH! So glad you actually POSTED THAT CHAPTED! :( took you a LONG while...

but that was pretty good :3 I have AWESOME editting skills... *basks in light*

remember to send me the next chap some time soon! :) maybe give it to me with the gaara thingy? *hopeful look*

but great chapter! I actually quite like the suspense and how ACCURATELY you got our characters; i could NEVER do that (as you have seen in my PKMN story)

... I am so lost O_O So I will go and look at other reviews before saying anything.

...

And no one else reviewed yet -.-

WELL THEN. I guess I'll just wait until the next chapter for an explanation... :/ Sorry "

ARMANNNNNNNNN WHY HAVE YOU NOT UPLOADED ANOTHER CHAPTER? D:

I like this. It's pretty good so far. I hope you update soon!

(p.s. I have an acount on here under the name 'Asuragetsfalconpunched', but I'm too lazy to log in. lol)

Seriously? Kevil?

nooooo where's the chapter i editted? D: post it up! i wanna read it again! D:

hey, let's reach 69 reviews ;)

Okay I just reread it, and you actually seem to have more grammar mistakes than I first took you for...

So therefore, your grammar sucks. :P I'm soooooo helpful :3

And don't put stuff in parentheses... I know I do that all the time, but you shouldn't, tis bad grammar.