Well done... again...

It's well-written and the... constant thought process portrayed how confused and betrayed he felt, wanting to forgive and yet take vengeance upon them. A beautiful piece of work :)

nice.

Are you sure this is the first time you wrote something in English? Cause this sure as hell is almost perfect! Please don't stop writing!

interesting story

Wow! This is great! Great job on your first fanfic in English. I love this. Really interesting to see Shu's thoughts on the loss of his arm and betrayal. You actually did well in writing him. If there was anything out of character, nothing huge stuck out to me. It's human nature to wish someone dead if they did something that bad to you.

I really love how you portray Shu's growing up and interaction with people, makes it really realistic.

Good fanfiction :D

I really like this, but I think the setting might have been wrong for some of the ideas you wanted to utilize.

For instance - Shu lamenting the loss of his arm. Great idea, and while I know that the series doesn't give you much room to groove with this idea since he pretty much sprouts another in the next episode, I think that the timing on this feels off. In intense situations like this one (ep 18? Correct me if I'm wrong), Shu was in a huge battle, that ended in the amputation of his arm. His adrenaline is going to be jacked through the roof for the next week. He's not going to be sleeping maybe passing out from blood loss, but not sleeping.

I also really like the idea of the conflict between Shu and Inori about the potential that one may or may not just see the other for their power. While this really isn't the case with Inori (see episode 21? Inori's confession of her feelings for Shu to Gai.) and though I don't think it's ever really stated so plainly I don't think it's the case for Shu either. However, it's a conceivable issue in the long term between the two. For instance episode 16 or 17 where Inori attempts to refuse Shu the use of her void, that would be a great place for this idea to come out, in my opinion.

I like the idea of Shu thinking that he should find an alternate means to defeat Gai, that would be an interesting deviation in the story if you wanted to put those ideas together.

I really like your Shu/Inori interactions for the most part, they are always the hardest thing for me to write. They seem to have a strange unspoken codependent relationship, so everytime they interact I feel like I'm having to force it. I don't know if that's the same for you or not, but if it is it doesn't show in your writing.

I definitely would like to see more of this idea in the future (hopefully from you). Good story!

For a German with supposedly poor English, your story hardly has any mistakes, unlike some native speakers here. Interesting story, hope to see more from you, it would be a pity if this promising story was cut short.

I liked this, it was pretty good. Although, there are a few things that could have been improved:

1) I know this was aimed at looking at Shu's point of view and his thoughts on how he was betrayed, but I think you make him focus a little too much on his arm. Sure, it's bad that he lost it, but there are worse problems.

2) The conversation between Shu and Inori (While they were eating) seems like something that would happen if they were not in this crisis. That may be an opinion of mine but I just feel that. I thought there would be more silence, but still...

3) I don't know whether or not Inori was actually concerned about Shu using her just for her void but it seemed pretty pointless to add it in there since Shu's past actions towards Inori have sort of proved that to be false. However, if she has just said that to make him feel better then I'll put my hands down and forget about this improvement.

4) Shu did seem a bit out of character. You made it seem like he put a lot of thought into him being angry but I doubt he would be that angry since he was seriously confused at what had just happened (His friend coming back to life and suddenly betraying him)

I'm pretty sure there are other small improvements that could be made, but I won't point them out. But, don't worry: Nothing is perfect. There will always be a need for improvements.

This is the first fanfic I have read ever since I joind and I have to say, it has really pulled me into reading more fanfics. It was a good fanfic and a good basis to build it on.

I do agree with you when you say they didn't focus enough attention on Shu's anger at Gai and Arisa. So, well done. Favourited.

Great story, i really love it :)