There were some definite errors ("sound asleep much to her delight since," "and, when it was finished, she said," etc.), but they were nicely balanced by deliberate deviations from strict English, such as the polysyndeton in "quietly got out of bed and carefully padded down the hall and..."
The use of Caragh in the creation of the AU was interesting, as McGonagall is usually seen/portrayed as a motherly figure without the credentials of motherhood. While the ending was a tad predictable, the overall construction was neat and reasonable.

Fandom half blind as I have seen the movies but not read the books.

Right off the bat with the first paragraph my heart is practically melting with the details on Caragh and Minerva sets the perfect line up and ropes in the kind on reader this seems to be intended for and makes them really want to keep on reading. I know I definitely want to.

Why did her father not want Caragh calling her though? Maybe I’ll find out soon but that alone really makes me curious. You have me at the edge of my seat here. Let’s keep reading then and hope you do not disappoint.

This conversation is going so lovely though. Certainly adds some nice depth to Minerva’s character. Some people don’t realize how much established canon characters could use some more building. Heck, Harry Potter can use some more depth.

Finally to wrap a lovely story they both lay in bed thinking about how wonderfully happy they are. However, we still don’t know why the father doesn’t want them talking. Caragh kept interrupting that she knew but we don’t and given that this is a one-shot that is incredibly annoying.

Aw! Yeah, I'm creeping on your profile reading all the short ones! But very cute and sweet.

Cute story, darkin! I loved Caragh! She seemed like a sweet little girl! I also really loved that she snuck out of bed so that she could talk to Minerva. It was adorable.

Admittedly, her being called Minerva and not McGonagall threw me for a loop, but that's only because she's always addressed by her surname in the books.

One thing I saw was that each time Minerva called Caragh something like honey or darling, it was capitalized. Not technically wrong, I don't think, but rather distracting. For me, at least.

I'm curious as to why Caragh's dad wouldn't let her see Minerva. It was clear that they loved each other. Was he a muggle? Sort of a Tom Riddle Sr. sort of thing?

SPAG:

"The truth was she'd go to the ends of the earth for that child." A nice line, but I think it could be improved by changing it to, "The truth was *that* she'd go to the ends of the earth for that child. Also, I think technically earth should be capitalized.

. Gift for Participating in the 2013 Reviewathon! .

Aww, awesome, a fic with little Caragh in it! :D I like how you've used 'daddy' and 'mummy' as opposed to 'mum' and 'dad' to give it a more childlike feel, as if it were from Caragh's own point of view. :) I like how the wording of the introduction is very simple yet engaging, as it keeps that childlike sound to it. :)

Aww, that line was really heartbreaking, when she asked her mum how much she loved her... I like how she took it from a book line though, since it's quite realistic because young children tend to mimic things often. I also found it so sweet for Min to think that she'd go to the end of the Earth and back for Caragh- it's as if she really was her real mother after all. :) I like how the 'I love you's at the end of the story are very simple and not made to sound overly grand or anything, since I think it makes it seem more like a realistic and genuine mother-daughter relationship. I think your ending was so sweet! I think it was lovely how Caragh felt like she was the luckiest girl in the world, and then Min also felt like she was the luckiest woman in the world.

A lovely story!

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Here is my critique and some suggestions for you, and if you would like me to clarify, feel free to ask! :)

. (do might be frowned upon.) I think that, to add some more tense consistency to it, you could even add a little extra to this part, but it's up to you. :)
[ do might have been frowned upon. ]

. (being sure to be ) With this line, I feel it may be clearer if 'being' were changed to 'making'. :)
[making sure to be ]

. (ends of the earth ) When referring to the planet, 'Earth' should be capitalised. :)
[ ends of the Earth]

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This was lovely! Your way of portraying parent-child relationships is great! Keep up the good work. :)

Okay... Sorry to say I didn't do your other stories... Well I know nothing about Seaquest. I don't even know if it's a game, TV show or a movie so you cannot rely on me when it comes to any meaningful comments about that.

On the other hand though, I think i can comment on Harry Potter even if my knowledge on that is only until the last movies. I never read the book...

I know I'm supposed to be reading your friend's story to understand this and i'm actually thinking of doing it soon. I'm interested to find out how Caragh's mother died. Also, I'd love to know how Minerva ended up being her mother figure so i would probably start on your friend's story after I get the chance to read Harry Potter.

I like how you were able to find different ways to write dialogues instead of the usual he said, she said. I actually find that really hard as a writer. Caragh's dialogue was one I'd expect for a child so good job keeping it like that. Sorry to nitpick though but I don't think Minerva would have said "got it" though, probably more of an "understand" I think this slip up though is kinda understandable since you also don't know much about the fandom.

Good job all in all _

That is completely adorable. I read that story to my kids when they were little. We still have a battered copy now my youngest is about to start University.

Everything from your cool cover pic to the very sweet last line was just perfect. A huggable story.

Although this story was shorter then what I would have liked it to be, I think you have done a really wonderful job. Not only is it short and sweet but I personally think you did a wonderful job with the description but the interactions between the characters as well. You’ve shown us a side of McGonagall not typically seen but one that I’d like to see more off, and you did a really good job explaining who Caragh is.

Overall I think you have done a fantastic job and you should be proud!

I can't believe I never reviewed this one. I read it a long time ago and absolutely loved it. I loved how in the beginning you captured the thoughts as a child would think it through. You kept that up through the entire story and it was so adorable! It really added to the amazingness of this piece. I really love the relationship between Minerva and Caragh. I know that you did this as a tribute for a birthday and another story, but you really kept that relationship there and made it beautiful. I think this is absolutely amazing. This story is well written and it makes me smile. Great job! Love this! Love you!

This is a very sweet story. I read your notes and I'm somewhat saddened by the fact that you don't know lots about Minerva McGonagall (She's an amazing character), but I'm glad you did your best to write your interpreation of her. It's nice to see that she has a sweet side to young kids.

It's a really simplistic and reminds you of a picture book. I wish you had the real story of the Nutbrown Hares though (I can imagine lots of bunnies and such). I also like the story title as expresses how much Minerva loves sweet little Caragh. Very fitting.

This is very sweet. Even though I haven't read Hannie J's story, I enjoyed this and figured out what was going on. XD It was fluffy, like, non-romance fluff if you know what I mean. I didn't see any SpAG stuff, although I might not have capitalized the 'Darling'. It wasn't an error, just a difference of writing style. Also, (and this is for Hannie J) I like the name Caragh, it's interesting. :)

Aww...such a sweet little one-shot! I'm a fan of Harry Potter and this is a side of Professor McGonagall that I don't think I've seen before (the caring for someone, even if it's for her daughter in an AU) and you've written this out in a way that makes Caragh just like any other child (what she did would be what someone else would do if they were missing their parent). No grammar mistakes found here, so great job with proofreading! I enjoyed reading and reviewing this sweet and cute one-shot, nice work! :)

Daw, geez...How sweet is this? When I saw the title, I was like "Yoink!" Of course, I'm looking at this as someone who doesn't know these characters, but honestly, it doesn't matter. This was still really good.
I have two daughters and this just warmed my heart, I must say.

I like the writing style - smooth and concise, and not too much detail. Perfect for the scenario you've got here.

This is a simple idea, but it's well done.

I adore the last line! I wasn't expecting it, but it's totally perfect.

I see this is about another author's OC? And based on her story? That's really nice! What a great compliment, for someone else to write about your story/character...
Nice work!

That was a really sweet story. I'm still not knowledgable in Harry Potter but I vividly remember Minerva from the movies. Everything was told very succinctly and realistically, and I loved both interpretations of the characters. The balance between dialogue and monologue was good as well. The last line was by far the best; it really defined the story. It's often that you'd see pieces like these, but this is definitely a standout piece. Good job!

This is adorable, and actually brought tears to my eye. I love the idea of Minerva having, even in a very loose sense, a daughter. Caragh is very sweet, and very cute! I love the song in the beginning, it sets the tone perfectly for your one-shot! What I loved specifically was how well I could tell that Minerva really loved Caragh through the dialog. In other words, I love this dialog. It's so tender between the two of them that my heart just melts.