that was smooth naruto

that was a cute story nice job
Draco122

Short but very cute Liked it a lot!

This is so beautiful (;w;) . I hope you write some other fics like this one

So sweet!

Aawwzz this made me all happy like inside..:D

Hmm I think her thumbs are an integral part of the story and the train is clearly envious of Hitnan. I wouldnt be surprised if the train turned out to be thomas the tank engine's evil nemesis (the black train with the angry face). Though, Im guessing the fat controller praised be his name would have a thing or two to say about the political burden placed upon naruto's back. My favourite character definitely has to be the Mr Abortionume, who's cameo appearance is just what this story needed to boost its credibility. Of course, whether Hitnan should have the abortion or not, is another matter. Of course, as a reader, you feel sorry for Hitnan because shes clearly ill, as shes always cold and coughing up black goo. But whether you like Hitnan or not, she is far too old to be sleeping around with young blond boys at menopause - she may be skilled with her fists, but she lacks the skill to settle down, which I think is a sad aspect you have excellently grafted into this story.

Nice plot...loved the fluff! :D...keep writing more naruhina!...

LOVE IT!

:X

xoxo

gigi

Awwww so cute! I really enjoyed reading this story. XD

Fave!

this is absolutely too cutee

cute story very detailed

Hey Doomie! (remember the nickname that never caught on? :P)

I really enjoyed this NaruHina one-shot. It's streets ahead of Mistletoe, and I loved that one as well!

I've given it another read through and I can't seem to find any typo's or mistakes to point out.

The only thing I spotted was you describing Naruto's eyes as having 'azure pupils'. The pupil is the black part of the eye; the coloured part is the iris.

Other than that minor gripe, great work, and I'm glad I could help out on the plotting :)

More NaruHina please, it's rapidly becoming my second favourite pairing after ShikaIno!

Reclamation

That was cute!

wonderful lots of fluff and you played the characters perfectly. this is definately a 10/10. i actually started to get bored with this cite what with all the Naru/Hina "vampire" and other very unoriginal fics, its nice to see something not only original but also good. its great fics like these that keep me on this cite :)