I sent my review for chapter 34 prematurely by mistake. What I was to say is you hit bullseye with Gohan and Jae's reconcile in the way you wanted the scene to play out. I like that the attack on Earth made Gohan realize that Jae was better served to be trained up so she could defend herself and her loved ones and she was now apart of his world. Also great work on this chapter as well. I hope at some point Goku might be brought back to life.

Great work on this story. I liked the way you did Jae's character and how she had developed from an angry person to how her heart was slowly thawed as the story moved along and she began to open up to Gohan.

What I liked best about this story is how you had Jae and Gohan reconcile. Actually the relationship conflict did not feel like it was just for the sake of drama, because Gohan had real reason to push Jae away to protect her from being pulled into the life of being one of Earth's protectors. And their eventual reconcile

Hu? This is chapter 36, now xD

Great job with the story so far, I really like the changes you made so far! The explanation about the attack and the- relics? Stones? Keys? It was very interesting and creative. Well done, I cant wait to read more about it!

Also! I once thought on the idea that all the other Saiyans would have ended up in Hell right? If not all, then sone would be in heaven too, right? They're never shown or spoken about further in the manga or anime... will you be doing anything in that regard, especially with the whole 'invading Earth' thing?

O.M. G... Was that a Harry Potter reference that I just found?! o. O (between Videl and Jae)

Nice xD

Ah, okay, I'm glad you added that bit about Jae's power surge here. Nice change xD

Okay, re-reading your story so it can make sense again- and I see how you added that bit about bringing people back from the dead with Jae here. Is this foreshadow for the future, after Goku is brought back and Jae learns of the Dragonballs?

I just finished my re-read and therefore a little addition regarding the latest changes you made in the story especially the fight between Gohan and Vegeta becuase it was the most noticeable.

First off to the other changes. The only thing I can mention here is that it is rather difficult to say whether the previous or the current version is better because your writing is still outstanding so I think it depends more or less on the personal taste of each individual reader.

Now to the fight between Gohan and Vegeta. In my opinion this version is better not only because it is longer and has for example the typical power clash between two ki attacks but also uses more descriptive words/phrases like sweating, to catch my breath, etc.
Thanks to all of that the fight feels far more lively. Further it is nice to see that the fight itself was far more closer than it was before so Vegeta got the attention that he deserves.
The end is probably the best because even though Gohan was still trying to outsmart Vegeta the fight itself was decided by Gohan's anger evoked by Vegeta saying that he is a disgrace to his father. It is nice to see that you went this way so that we don't forget that Gohan isn't always the nice and caring guy he is normally.

I am looking forward for what you have planed for the future and I can calm your worries about being awful at writing fight scenes how you said yourself because you are not awful writing them at all :)

If you follow down the line of this fight or the fight between Jea and Needo you won't have to worry in the future as well.

I just finished the story and well, what can I say?

It's actually my first fanfiction story for the DB-Universe and in my opinion I hit the jackpot right away.

I like the way how you introduced Jae and the "new" version of Gohan in this story. Furthermore it is nice to see how your other OC's manage to show us readers new sides of Gohan and the background and feelings of Jae without taking to much focus for themselves.

Since it's a story about OCxGohan I really don't mind that the other cannon characters like Vegeta, Krillin and so on where more or less just "there" and didn't have any significant role until now. I think it would have even seemed forced in the story so far if they were more than "there" and also to much too because of Vince and the others.

During their short appearances they fulfilled their role like teasing our poor Gohan perfectly without appearing out of character even though I have to admit it was kinda weird to see Vegeta more or less getting his ass handed to him by Gohan. Regardless in my opinion you did a pretty good job balancing the cannon characters with your own.

I seriously don't know where to start praising you when it comes to the core, the story between Jae and Gohan, because I kinda love everything about it. From the start when they were still at each other throats, than starting to understand each other and slowly becoming friends, than best friends only to realise that they want even more. Especially in the last parts I have to admit even though I am a male I was like 'Kyahhh they are going to kiss' or 'Damn you idiots, kiss already!'.

I think it is just a proof that you are pretty damn good at writing if you get your readers to feel like that and while I am at it I have to say your ability to describe a scene is amazing. It was always easy to imagine the scene they were right now, whether they were in the wildlands training or at school debatting.
Further is your writing most of the time easy to unterstand and to follow even if English isn't your native language just how it is the case with myself but I have to admit that I had to ask Google this time more often for some translation help because I couldn't translate the word from the situation. I was more like 'The fuck!? What the heck ist that? Is that even a word?' It didn't help much either that Google said that there is no fitting word, term or phrase for that in German or it was simply the same. It would have been the only little speck of criticism I found while reading the story but I just realised that it mostly happend when it was Gohan's turn in the story. If my memory serves me right I think Jae herself mentioned once something like: "If I am going to stick around with you I will need a dictionary".

If that's the case than the only criticism I have is a positive point as well because it is a fitting character treat for Gohan since he wants to be a scholar and should use from time to time an "advanced" language. In other words if it is a lucky coincidence I hope these will keep coming in the future and if you do it on purpose... well... did I told you that you are pretty damn good at writing?

Also I like the pacing of your story. I have red stories in which I got the "movie feeling". In other words after the first 10 minutes of the story/movie it was already like "You are the love of my life, please marry me" and the couple has more or less just been introduced to each other. I personally don't like that very much because it feels forced and in my opinion is pretty annoying.

While I red your story I didn't get this feeling once. The development of the relationship between Jae and Gohan is not to slow that I got the feeling that they where somehow stuck and not to fast that the mentioned movie feeling appeard so one more reason why I love the story so far.

All in all i can only say that your story is awesome. Here some more reasons that just popped up in my mind for that.

I can't say if that was your intention or not but after finishing the story in less than 4 days I got the feeling that the role between Jae and Gohan are currently reversed. In other words Jae was the first one who was crushed by her past, well her past that she is aware of, and Gohan was the one helping her out of it and now it's kinda the other way around. So to say Gohan is now haunted more than ever from the ghosts of his past and Jae will have to take his hand to pull him out of the hole he is currently in or slap him straight across the face since just taking his hand is probably not enough concerning he is quite the thick head.
Also somehow it feels like the entire story so far was more or less something like an introduction for what is to come in the future.

During my time with mangas and animes I develeoped the habit of introducing my OC's and story parts into the ones I was reading/watching at that time in my mind. For DB it is the same and since I started reading your story my OC has throttled Jae and Gohan already more than once for various reasons :D
In other words you did an amazing job while creating her as an character and I am kinda sad that she exists only in this fanfiction and not in the original story as well.

I am exited to see what will happen in the future arcs for example the Buu sage if you are intending to go there.

In the end i can just repeat myself: "Your story is awesome".

I read "Get back in the kitchen!" and I knew I was downloading this story, lol

The story and writing is pretty nice, but you degraded dbz universe way too much but i know it was necessary for the story so I'll just go on with it.
I think you are really underpowering all the characters. i mean trunks and goten should be super saiyan and in last previous chapter you just ignored Trunks made him hide. You know only Gohan hates his saiyan side while goten and trunks love it and they enjoy it. Also no one taught goten how to fly so there's that. I think by focussing too much on Gohan and his human friends you turned this story to an high school drama.
Story as i said is good but you have got to keep characters a bit cannon.
And i think you are forgetting all the Z fighters. Unlike Gohan's freinds they will come as soon as they saw the mayhem and will provide a lot of help.
Story is pretty nice just stick to a bit dbz theme while in fights and you know that Gohan's ascended form should be close to useless because he hasn't honed it properly for more than half a decade so you can't just make him the strongest z fighter now, i mean you can its your Story but it would be just tooo much then.
Again nice story but just don't ignore and degrade the role of all the z fighters as they are just as important as gohan goku and Vegeta.
Update soon

I thought you were dead!

Good call on getting to the action already. Slice of life is nice and all but I feel like we've had a bunch already and too much would probably drag the pacing more than it should. Looking forward to seeing more angry Gohan!

Thank you for the update! I'm glad you decided to go right into the action. I think there's been a good amount of downtime already so moving the plot along was the best choice.

I love this so much please continue

Ahh they're so cute. I love that Gohan is finally opening up like this.