I know it has been a long time however I would like to know if there is any possibility that you can continue with this story it is really interesting how it could end.

Thank you for taking the time to write and I hope I can continue reading a little more of this incredible story about my favorite ship.

I'm dying for more of this AU. Your Jori stories are so good.

I loved this, I’m hoping you come back to update

I'd get married in my pajamas too Tori, picking an extravagant outfit to wear only once is so unnecessarily stressful. The time we spend in Tori's head during this chapter is so relatable. Her thought process about Jade liking her is one I've been down myself and is probably common among most people - not in the sense of a Vampire liking a Human, but relatable nonetheless. Her dad's reaction is also relatable and so classic "dad" to me. Also, the end of this chapter really had me thinking that Jade totally planned that entrance just to be a shit and I love it.

I've heard the three day wait thing too! Those three days really are torture haha. The stalker-ish first call is funny as hell to me, both Jade and Tori had very believable reactions in my opinion. The name calling was cute and informative in a way, it made me wonder what the modern "nightwalker" would be and why Tori only knew that one outdated term. Jade wanting to be alone with Tori had my heart doing weird things too, those subtle communications through tone really enrich their interactions. I'm excited to see a Blood Bar! And again, the lines with the moon are amazing. They make the moon a character all on her own and I love it.

I know I'm pretty scatterbrained in my reviews, sorry, but I hope they're decent despite that. I sorta just write my responses as I read honestly. Onwards!

This park scene got me curious about Jade - to look hurt at the Human stranger's response to her was interesting. It shows how Tori's treatment of her is very different from that of other Humans. Their conversation got me curious too, about Jade's age, her turning, her family, and so on. I like that we don't learn everything all at once, you have a great rate of reveal in your writing. Which brings me to the mention of the Immortalis, I think you did a good job reminding us that they're still out there without telling us what they're actually doing. Tori's reaction to Jade's dismissal was good too, it really cements the idea that there's really strong stigmas on both sides about the other (Humans and Vampires, I mean). Anyways, I think the park was a great setting for the conversation; the girls swinging allows for good imagery of physical responses and is also a familiar scene for most to imagine. The ending part about crossing lines is another thing I liked because it applies to both Tori and Jade, separately and together.

"But then you remember that Jade was not a smiley creature, let alone a nice one, and you're back in the present" - made me chuckle! The Changed professor was a nice inclusion, reminded me of the half black/half white kids from To Kill a Mockingbird that she doesn't fit in with either Mortals or Immortals. I also empathize with that college break feeling. Being back home definitely brings things back to the forefront of the mind. The way Tori reminisces about the incident is well written, I like that she really did try to find Jade for a bit. I also liked that she's not a typical "party teen", it was a nice way of characterizing her and having her meet Jade again. The bit where Jade hears Tori's heart is pretty great too, and I love that they both thought about each other. Her reaction to Tori's invitation reveals just the right amount of her emotions, and her verbal response definitely incites anxious anticipation.

That last line gave me chills! Can't pinpoint it, maybe my astrological relationship with the moon, but it reads as a really strong line. It's especially good that it ends the six month summary, a very portentous transition. I'm so curious about Jade! Her past with humans that makes her think they're selfish creatures, who she outlived and their relationship, etc. You definitely build up a lot of intrigue by describing her tone and expression's the way you do. Her goodbye to Tori really makes me want to know more because it implies that she really does want to see her again, but that she's still wary of befriending a Mortal.

Took a break for the holidays, but I'm back! Gotta say, I know Christopher is a more minor character, but I like him. He seems supportive of human-vampire relationships, which makes it fitting for him to work at a blood bank. I'm also glad to see Andre finally appear, interesting to have him in a "sheepdog" role, so to speak. I'm curious to see how his personality relates to his job. I also enjoyed seeing Tori follow through with her promise to come back, I figured it had to happen, but I enjoyed getting to read her thoughts on it beforehand. I also liked her musings on Changing, it's cool that we learn some but not all of the details because Tori doesn't know all of them. It gives depth to your world in a great way. I am curious about it though, the actual process of the Change itself. Every writer has their own ideas on it, and so far I've loved all of your ideas. I like that there's a governmental aspect to it though, it makes a lot of sense to me that Changing requires a lot of paperwork and approvals. Her decision to keep the life saving incident from her friends was cool too, I think it works with her character to keep it private from them - it definitely shows Tori's perspective on it.

"There's so much white in this room, you're starting to feel like you're on the inside of an egg" is such an interesting line. I feel like it's hinting at Tori's inexperience with the vampire world, maybe even a degree of naivete. It could also be referring to the relative safety of the blood bank because as soon as they're out they're in danger from the Immortalis and exposed to/under the Coexist's influence. I could be overanalyzing, but that line felt full of unsaid meaning. Also the way you've built Tori's character makes it seem like her promise to come back is natural and expected. Her courage and persistence is an interesting match to Jade's disposition and I love seeing that in their interactions. I totally empathize with Tori's immediate obsession, some girls just do that to you. I can't imagine how it would be with a vampire, so much worse I bet!

Your description of Jade's recovery is great, likening her to a sponge was funnily accurate. I'm glad to see her snark kick in as soon as she can talk haha. I also deeply appreciate Tori's choice about the whole life debt thing; again, it really fits with everything you've done to characterize her and I love her modest nobility during her request. It's an interesting angle that Beck is evil, so I can't wait to see him appear. I remember him being imposing and invasive during a later chapter, but not specifics. The whole human harvesting cult is a classic for vampires and I honestly love that you're using it as a contrast to the Coexist movement.

Me again! Yet another good chapter with character and world building for us lucky readers. I love the conversation between Tori and her mom - the lowkey/passive prejudice being called out was perfect and it really fits Tori's character in my opinion (the type of girl that stands up for others on principle). I also enjoyed the interaction between Christopher and Tori, it shows her willingness to learn and her innocent curiosity.

One discrepancy, and it's not something that detracts from the story, is a shift in POV from second to first person here: "He shifts the phone back to me, where I mumble a quick goodbye to my mother before hanging up". Not trying to be overly critical, just sharing an observation.

And the blood bars! That had me interested for sure. It reminded me a bit of true blood, and it's another thing that makes the vampires seem like they have an established culture. You do a really good job of sliding in world building during the inner monologue. It keeps it from feeling like an info dump and it also keeps the reader immersed in your world at the same time.

"the sky like a black velvet blanket tucking in the sun" this line was brilliant! It stuck out to me in a good way c:
Also, the very end bit was nice - how Tori would've stayed for a mortal so she would for a vampire too. It was a great way to characterize her through her actions.
I appreciate that you've built up a culture around the vampires too; mentioning actors and sports was a nice touch and it makes it feel like the Coexist movement is well established in the present of the narrative.

(I'm secretly hoping my reviews will lure you back to this story, but I also appreciate your writing and feel that you should know it. I literally searched for this out of the blue because I remembered it and just had to see if it was updated. I've read your other works too and I love your style!)

I really love that this is written in second person POV, there's not enough of it out there and this is done really well. The way you have Tori's thoughts mix with the narrative is really cool too, it definitely builds tension and puts the reader in her shoes. The moon motif is nice too, I love how it works as a bond between mortals and vampires. I do like this and hop it's something you plan on continuing!

rereading this and normally I am not a fan of second person(?) pov, but this is the incredible exception to the rule. Romantic and well written with excellent thrills. A pity that this hasn't been updated in quite some time. I feel like this would always be a story for the ages, especially when it comes time to introduce other species and how the business with Imortalis plays out