I am glad to read a story in which Lucius actually loved Narcissa, and your portrayal of her is heartbreaking. For how long will it be on hiatus or is this the end? Nonetheless, it was good.

Great story! You should upload more! :D

Please write more soon, I really want to find out what happens.

I'd also really like to find out what would happen if Bellatrix or Druella came to see Narcissa. I think that would be a really good part of the story.

Update Please!

Narcissa's guilt and the way she blames herself for everything is so sad and I really feel for her. The part at the very end about Lucius holding her hand was very sweet though.

I thought the part about the chocolate pudding was a sweet little touch and I like how Lucius feels at a loss about to help her. It really drives home the contrast between the way he feels about her and the attacker. The description of the attack seemed so real that it was genuinely scary.

I thought the description of Narcissa feeling unclean was excellent and evoked sympathy for her brilliantly. All her thoughts and feelings throughout the chapter were realistic and very well described. I did think though that Alyssa and Destinee seemed far too modern names for Narcissa's classmates, since this is taking place in the sixties and witches and wizards tend to have old-fashioned names anyway.

*noms virtual brownie*

I really liked the angel imagery you used here and the way Lucius seems almost intoxicated by Narcissa's beauty. There were a few little mistakes and typos, but overall it was very well written. His shock and desperation at the end were also conveyed very well.

awesome chapter! Please update soon!

You soo owe me two cookies. :P

I'm not one for abortion, even if it's rape, but you make this chapter really believable, and the emotions afterward mix in well with the story. Lucius supporting her, really helps out with the likeness of the story.

PLEASE UPDATE Asap.:p

Can I have a my cookie now? :P XD

Aw. This is really good. I esp love your metaphors. update soon!

I feel so bad for Narcissa; what happened to her was just awful. I had guessed that it might be something like that from the shower comment though. I really like this story and it is definately a valid entry. Well done. I'm going to keep reading this and I can't wait for the next update.

Those girls were so mean, and it's even worse because they've made Narcissa think that about Lucius. Will Lucius have to start everything all over again so that she will trust that he doesn't just want sex? What actually happened to her when she left? Why did she need to wash herself? Was it just Lucius or did something else happen? Was she attacked?

I can't wait to find out more.

I've just seen your post and had a look at this story. Is this the one you meant?

I've just read the first two paragraphs, so here are my comments so far:

Your obviously a good writer because the starting paragraphs are well written and draw the reader (a.k.a. me) in. Your description of Narcissa is really good - naturally beautiful. You make Lucius sound human and yet he still sounds like himself. Being bored by flirty, make-up clad girls is an attribute that I can see him having.

Okay so now I've read the rest of the chapter. It's quite a dramatic turn of events. What's happened to Narcissa? I hope she will be okay. Lucius really seems to care about her.

awesome! i hope i get to read more! please update!

The way you described Cissy's personality is exactly how I imagine her in my mind.

That being said, onto the actual fic. This was beautiful. Haunting and tragic, but so utterly amazing. Poor Narcissa. I can't wait to see where this goes.

Keep the brownie. I want virtual gummy bears.