I hope you will continue someday this story really caught my attention and I hope to see it concluded

can't wait for the next chapter things are just getting good I'm looking forward to seeing what happens next

I have to say, that I really love this story. I find it a fascinating and a great concept to send Hope back in the time, so that he accidentally meets the Vanille from the past who actually doesn't know him. It was interesting to read how he stood with his real interests in conflict, because on the one hand, I think he was very happy to see Vanille again after a long time, even if she's not actually exactly the Vanille he knows. But on the other hand he was forced to keep a certain emotional distance to her, because of the worry that it could change the future if he would divulge too much, while she got more and more interested in him by time. This was one thing I find good about that story there are still so much other things I could name now, but that would be too much I think.
So, thank you for writing that story it was a great job :D

/Fast forwards to the latest chapter to avoid spamming your inbox.

Good lord, I'm amused how it's Vanille's insatiable curiosity - something she has in common with Serah - that leads them to travelling together for three whole weeks! And how they both know it's a Terrible Idea but. can't. help. themselves; the chemistry and longing is too irresistible XD

Mmm I can't say I care for the bolded dialogue. It's too distracting and unconventional. Maybe it makes it easier for you whilst writing, but as a reader? Doesn't help one bit. Especially when you don't start a new paragraph every time a different character speaks.

Hope and Vanille's bantering is ace. Glad Hope is trying to not let any *more* sensitive details slip; got to keep up the suspense after all.

The tension between Fang and Vanille is engaging; how long does she think she can hide it from Fang, anyway? (Vanille never seems to learn from her lessons, sigh.) I wonder what will be the tipping point for the inevitable confrontation between the two. Or maybe you'll continue your streak of less-dramatic-than-expected-yet-still-effective moments. But with the way Fang's been reacting...I doubt it. Anyway, I love Fang, and the way you've portray her actions/thoughts has been exciting to read.

"Have a wife?" VANILLE, oh you. And pffft Hope; I see what you did there XD But shouldn't he be 27? You've mentioned being he's 24 several times throughout the fic and...I know him being 27 increases their age difference but I don't think Hope would lie about it. I mean this isn't his Vanille exactly (so what does it matter if she thinks he's too old), and the Vanille who woke up in 500 AF would be more accepting, right?

Finally! Hope is getting serious about the artefact hunt. And it only took him what 3-4 weeks, story-wise? He's been slacking haha. Or too distracted. Btw what did they even do for three whole weeks!? How did they make it past all those monsters given that Hope's missing his boomerang and presumably hiding his magic abilities? And neither of them have any l'Cie attributes.

P.S. Dajh is cute. P.P.S. Will you try your hand at any battle scenes in the future? You keep avoiding/transitioning away from them so...

I feel like some of the section breaks here are unnecessary... I understand you're switching between perspectives but since you continue straight from the previous scene, it'd be fine to merge them together - that way you wouldn't be disrupting the flow. (Or you could rewrite some parts so they fit seamlessly.)

Anyway, moving on:

"You're going to let me go now…aren't you?" Hope asked solemnly as he brushed past her on his way over to the lifeless Leyak; picking it up gently by the wings he handed it over to the Pulsian.
This part wounded me. And then the following exchange was like a OHKO, ouch.

The first scene with Noel and Sazh is fantastic. Having Dajh run in and deliver the news is an effective use of his character *thumbs up*. Also, it reminds me of his Focus/"l'Cie abilities" from the first game.

I like how Noel and Sazh are aware that even THEY could disappear from existence/the timeline. It's not something I recall many writers including in post FF13-2 fics, especially where Noel is concerned. More often the characters seem infalliable (more like ignorant) or the writers are too attached to Noel lol.

Mmm your story makes me crave for more fics where Vanille and Hope are in charge and drive the story. More adventure/fantasy/supernatural fics, because they can definitely hold their own.

Vanille's waking up and reunion scene is so underwhelming in a good way. No need for dramatics, just cute chocobo interactions. I'm certain canon states that Fang and Vanille know about Lightning's disappearance on multiple occasions. But I can suspend disbelief here :P

"'Wait... what am I thinking! I couldn't actually sleep with him around.'" D'aww, Vanille.

Fang and Vanille's interactions in the beginning come off as nice and authentic. However, I doubt the expectations on hunting/gathering were that strict in Oerba because it seemed to be a tight-knit, accepting community. But Vanille's acting *is* adorable.

"[..] after all it wasn't everyday a Cacoonian showed up in the Steppe. At least alive." Typos/errors aside, this is an interesting thought. Sazh tells us in Ch4 of FFXIII that no Pulsians ever made it to Cocoon during the War of Transgression. While this could be Sanctum propaganda, if we assume it's true then that would mean most if not all of the fighting took place on Gran Pulse. And the Steppe would make a good battlefield. But seeing a lone Cocoonian, on the other hand, was probably a rare occurrence.

"Finally breaking their gaze Vanille placed her free hand on her hip in defeat as the name spun off her lips like it had all those years ago during the purge [..]" I really like this sentence; vivid and exemplary character portrayal. And Vanille observing the make of Hope's clothing is brilliant (because it hints at her creative/crafty side). Definitely more interesting than if she only noticed how different they looked.

Ohhh, your Hope is so socially inept, poor thing lol. (I love it btw. Though he seems to stutter too much imo.) And finally, the ending is really cute.

Aojiroiemura, you've got good timing! I started rereading your fic yesterday morning, stopped and then surprise surprise, saw a notification in my inbox! So glad you're still writing. Anyway, let's see how many chapters I can R&R before I knock myself out XD

Your plot-line is one of a kind in this fandom, there's no doubt about it. I adore your characterisations; you've got a great handle on all the ones I've seen (up to where I stopped reading). Love the references to the first two chapters of the original game. And Vanille's "initial" distrust, her reaction to him yesss. Their whole exchange basically.

Now, I don't want to focus on all the typos, grammatical errors, redundancies/unnecessary repetitions, etc. because honestly, I found too many. It'd be fantastic to see this story be polished or fully edited one day, but I imagine you're more concerned with finishing it.

What I WILL highlight, because I came across it in later chs and it bugs me, is the whole emphasis on Vanille's accent? Not necessary. Hope commenting on it the first time was fine, sweet even. Australian English is hardly different from British or US English so unless it's something like slang or somehow plot-related, stressing the difference in pronunciation is jarring (for me) to read. P.S. The game doesn't do this (most if not all of VanilleFang's lines are subtitled normally) and if you capture her dialogue/thoughts well enough (which you do), readers should be able to hear Georgia's voice without noticing the difference.

I have more thoughts/questions about the first chapter, but they'd be better sent via a pm/ask (if you care to hear them lol).

Minor spelling errors, major enjoyment. All in all, a very good chapter! Can't wait to see what happens next!

Love love it, it's awesome, your an amazing
Writer! Please update soon :D

Omg omg omg omg! Finally an update!

This was a pretty good chapter, it had a nice flow to it, even with transitioning from one era to another. I squeed at Vanille and Hope's banter, and omg, I'm on the edge of my seat waiting to find out what happens next! So Hope is gonna take Vanille with him now? Omg, I mean, it's not like he could ever say no to Vanille in the past, but this is just like asmfjfjjsjaj! I neeeeed to know what's going to happen next, and how this is all going to get resolved! Please update soon! Pretty please! I can't wait for the next chapter!

I am ready for chapter 10! :)

Oh no! Hope got caught T,T I cant wait to read what's next. Update soon please :]

The heck how did hope get caught?

Yay! You updated! I don't usually ship Vanille/Hope, but I do like the matchup. It's much more believable than Light/Hope, I'll admit, but I ship that one anyway :D
Update again soon!

0yF