So, this is a good wrap-up. Mainly I have to give you praise for making the voice of chapter 27 recognizably different from that of the rest of "Ancient Memories"; besides being vital to writing an entry from Chris, it's a testimony to how well you've handled Zero's voice. I think Chris ought to have said a bit more, but you can't accuse the entry of overdramatizing things.

One notable typo: "to let the final chapter of my father's life to go unrecorded."

I like the way you handled Zero's return better than in the original. It feels a lot more real, and there's enough detail for this to be a satisfying resolution. The closing lines are effective as well.

Now, as a final assessment of this fic, I think the journal format worked all right for me, though I fear someone unfamiliar with the original work is likely to have a more negative view of it. For me, this is an alternate way of looking at the events of "It's Not Over Not by a Long Shot", and the effectiveness with which you write Zero's perspective often makes up for the dreary bits. A new reader might just see it as a poor way of telling a story, but I couldn't say - so hopefully someone else will review! At any rate, I leave you with that thought, and congrats on completing another fic; 80% of authorship is finishing what you start.

This is actually an okay bunch of chapters, despite most of the elements being stuff I've said either doesn't work well in the journal format or isn't interesting to begin with. There's enough swapping between scene types to keep any one scene from getting boring, and it all builds up tension towards the conclusion. The attempted spire takedown is interesting, too.

Oh, and no conspicuous typos this time, either. :)

Obviously this being a journal makes the climax awkward, but you've played it so there's excitement around the final battle without leading us to expect we'll actually see it happen. It works.

Interesting about your getting Lina's ending instead of Serene's; the same thing happened to me on my second playthrough. I'll read the wrap-up soon. Kind of sad that I'll only be caught up after the fic is finished, but oh well.

To be honest, I found these three entries a bit dry. The opening paragraph is a good review of Serene and Jack's relationship, and I like the line "A life is still a life, no matter how much it pisses you off." The rest feels too heavy on combat analysis, though, which feels a bit extraneous at this point since there haven't been any significant fight scenes for some time.

The other development re: Serene and Jack is good, in part because of Zero's oddly disinterested perspective on it, which fits well with his extensive background and doesn't really take away from the intensity of Serene's feelings. The hot springs stuff isn't as interesting, though.

Found a couple typos of note: "She an also actually hit me with" and "a roe both of us have been forced to fill".

It'll probably be a while before my next review due to stuff going on for the rest of this week, but at least I'm much closer to being caught up now. Still looking forward to future entries.

I still find it funny just how many scenes from the original "It's Not Over" have remained in my memory after all these years. It's a good sign; while I remember there were several scenes I really didn't like in the original, it's only scenes that I liked which I've been remembering.

I like the introduction of the Serene and Jack thing better than I did in the original. It's interesting to think of the others trying to set the two of them up for pragmatic reasons. Rather creepy, obviously, but understandable in its way, and a good lead-in to the body snatcher incident.

On that note, I feel uncertain about Ein and Fia not being able to kill the body snacher. They've taken on Ledah, after all, and it's not as though either of them were particularly close to Leon. Besides, exorcising lost souls isn't exactly new to them. Other than that, though, it's a good scene. The aftermath is nicely written, too, even if the journal format means it lacks mood.

Anyway, I'm still planning on catching up, so keep writing!

Oy, I guess I spoke too soon when I said my internet troubles were over. My computer has been entirely out of order for a whole month, and I've been struggling to at least somewhat keep up with things using my old failing laptop. I'm sorry that my problems have affected my reviewing of your work, which deserves better.

Indeed, this set of entries is the strongest yet, such that I don't see any major cause for complaint. Even the journal format feels pretty natural for this part of the story. And entry 13's description of the soul invasion procedure and its risks makes for very interesting and believable reading. Some of your best bits of humor are here, with "Ok then, project 'Get Leon Murdered' is a go" being both characteristic of your style and an especially chuckle-inducing line.

Your handling of Leon's death is thoroughly effective. Even entry 15, with its consise, poetically formatted expression of Zero's reaction, comes off as genuine and cathartic. You haven't overdone any of the resultant grief, nor glossed it over. Zero makes a good narrator for it all, with his emotional detachment allowing him to comment on other characters' grief as well as his own.

The paragraph where Zero explains why he isn't talking to Serene about it is especially poignant. There's a wonderful starkness to each statement that makes the emotion of the situation all the more strongly felt. Simple assessments like "It's not like I'm a paragon of knowledge when it comes to dealing with grief. I'm not doing all that great myself." become powerful through their distinctive phrasing.

I'm well behind on all of my fan fiction reviewing now, but rest assured that I'll get to every chapter of this eventually.

Sorry for the late review; my internet hasn't been up for over a week. Anyway, this is a usual mixed bag of entries, but the high points are higher than usual.

A couple typos of note: "Then the it was time for introductions." and "a bit of a letch."

It's fun to see Nardi again; I vaguely remember quite enjoying his scenes in "It's Still Not Over". Too bad we don't see much of him in these chapters. Funnily enough, even though she's long dead, I find Seight to be a compelling character as well. She's not the perfect wife and mother you'd expect from this sort of story, but a basically caring person with a few battle scars.

I somehow don't remember Jack/Scath's story being told in this level of detail before, and I think it's an interesting read. The manner of his possession isn't original, of course, but there's a good level of detail to Leon's family and Zero's relationship with them.

The battle with Matok is well-designed, but too lacking in detail. Again, I suspect this is the curse of the journal format, but I'm mentioning it for what it's worth. Still enjoying this overall; I only hope that I can catch up to the current chapter soon.

A decent set of entries, though the journal format really doesn't work well for the action sequences. Without the spice and danger of immediacy, they come out rather flat. On the plus side, I am interested in the alternate course you're setting for Zero and Cierra's interactions. I don't see him ever coming to tolerate her airheadedness (even if she is in essence a very smart lady), so I suspect there's more heartache coming by this route. At the least, it allows for an amusing sort of relationship to exist between the two of them.

The character humor in chapter 9 is quite good, understated but playing well off of each aspect of Zero's personality. Though I have to note, the line "we might get to see some seriously awesome teamwork." just isn't right. I can't imagine Zero saying something like that.

Chapter 10 has a lot of typos, e.g. "Serene quite the trooper herself." There are even two double-typos in the same paragraph, both mis-capitalizations with inappropriate apostrophes: "Angel's" and "God's".

I saw the explanation as forced before reading your final note, but it really is good to have it out there, at least. Will catch up to the next three entries soon.

Generally a good chapter, though one thing I really noticed here is heavy usage of ellipses and sentence fragments in ways that don't fit with this being a journal entry, e.g. "I... The first village had a barrier... I had to- Sieght was", "They... They made her destroy the village", "I... I'm rambling." These all sound rather funny in the context of a journal.

The humor is still solid, even if there are no bits that particularly made me laugh. The added history of the Holy Wars is appreciated too, though there is far too little explanation about the source of the Fallen Ones.

Romance is hard to get through in journal format, but at least Serene and Leon's whirlwind relationship comes off as more believable this way. Or maybe it's just that I saw "The Terminator" for the first time two days ago and thus have a fresh appreciation for how being constantly in mortal danger can accelerate a romance.

These are a nice set of entries. I'm glad to see that you're putting more humor back into the saga; I particularly chuckled at some of Zero's descriptions of the Riviera cast. "...I don't know how she apparently hurls spears but whatever." is a great one.

Also, the fleshing out of Zero's relationship woes is nicely done. I've begun noticing that Zero seems less apathetic in general than he was "It isn't Over Not by a Long Shot", though of course he might have been feigning. At any rate, this different tone doesn't feel out-of-character.

On the down side, I see you using bolded text in a couple of parts, which is frowned upon in the fiction world, chiefly because it's never necessary.

Still not at all sure that the formal journal format is working out for this, but for one who has enjoyed your work in the past, it makes an interesting reimagining.

So, not too bad thus far. I'm surprised to find I'm actually remembering a number of scenes from "It Isn't Over Not by a Long Shot" after all these years. The references to Zero's past are rather tough to keep straight, probably all the more so for new readers who have no frame of reference, but otherwise the plot retains the same positive and negative qualities of the original.

Zero's perspective is delivered fairly and consistently, but the tone is of course quite formal and I'm doubtful that you'll be able to retain interest in the journal format for long. Even when the narrator is of a more lively personality than Zero, the journal format is difficult to get good prose out of.