Noooooooo you have messed up the balance of KATAANG

Holy crap you know burn notice. That alone made my day thank you for writing this

hhhd

govo o o ood ch p

very clean writing style
i like it a lot

1. Nobody says "zagal"
2. It would be better to use "Viajero del Espejo" or "Caminante del espejo" as it is backwards in Spanish
3. I have no idea what you meant by "without contract escapes Jose Gonzales" if you meant something along the lines of "no matter where, nobody under the contract escapes Gonzalez" it should be "no importa donde estén, nadie dentro del contrato escapa José Gonzalez"

All understandable mistakes if you used google translate

Can you make him bend a non-bendable element like light or shadows

Look man I give up you make up a good character you have great dialogue but all your doing is retailing the actual story of avatar with a snarky character who doesn't do anything to change the story I could literally just be watching the show if you're not gonna change anything what's the point of even writing this

If Tom beat up all the Yu Yan archers then who captured Aang. If you were gonna have Tom fight the yu yan archers then you should have changed it so that Aang never got captured. Now you're stuck with maybe there were more archers which is just dumb

I'm gonna be honest this was the second most bullshit chapter so far you talked in chapter 3 how you were gonna have the MC start making more changes in the story but he's literally not changed a single thing since then this would have been a good time to start he should have told Aang about the fish would have prevented this entire sequence and you still could have had him having his little moment of clarity where he realize he's not taking his training seriously this is just a bunch of b*******

What do you mean it doesn't matter if the fire nation gets the war balloon that's super important if there was one thing just one thing I was gonna change in all of avatar it would be the fire nation getting that God damn balloon

Wait so he didn't quench his sword that means the metal didnt harden properly which means that sword can't maintain an edge and is worthless

your grammar is good your conversations flow natural all in all i'd say your a good writer. so ofc your plot absolutely sucks, seems like a running theme amongst writers

oh no were do i start with fire bending. its not like there was this whole episode were the dragons told aang and zuko what the key was and that basicly the whole fire nation does it wrong...

no way your plot revolves around a fire bender from another world who can bend without instruction. truly amazing plot line totally unexpected