A short and sweet look of Neal from Elizabeth's point of view, in those first few moments when they met.

I nice story, I enjoyed it.

A few typos, but nice little scene

Great story.

Loved the insight into El's thoughts, it seems so true to character!

Congratulations on posting your first story! I like hearing El's viewpoint, and seeing Neal's introduction to Satchmo.

Areas for improvement: a little fact checking is in order: Neal's last name is "Caffrey", and it was a bond, not a manuscript. Also, at the end of a quote, if the sentence continues, and the quote doesn't end in a question mark or exclamation point, then there should be a comma inside the quote. Example: "Thank you," he said.

Congratulations on taking that first great step into the world of writing. You are to be commended on stepping out into the unknowen. That takes courage and you did it.

I liked that you gave us El's perpective of Neal, it cetrtainly was original. I hope you continue to write.

Thank you for sharing your story! You've written a very nice piece here. I like the view into Elizabeth's feelings on Neal before she met him. I'm not entirely sure, but I'm thinking that the Burke's house is within Neal's radius, from what I've seen on the show. That is all.

For a first story, I commend you; first on your bravery, and second on your excellent grammar and style. If I were to offer any suggestions on how to improve, it would be only to continue to refine the vividness of your writing. I think it's very good to begin with; I'm just being really nit-picky. :)

Cute story.

nice!

Nice story. It's a great episode tag. There's nothing to improve in your writin. It's absolutely great.