I like your poem.

This is great! you should write a sequel!

HAHA. The guard ghost. He cracked me up. He probably shouldn't have, but he was just such an obsessive ghost. You're our new prisoners. So matter of fact, too!

Yay! Danny reveal! So great and funny and dramatic. But he saved her and then she accepted him so it was all great.

D'awwww. This was such a great episode- I CANNOT wait to see the rest of the story and how all of these sneak peek episodes fit together for you world traveling epic. :)

And Thankyouthankyouthankyou for this. It's the most awesome Christmas present everrr. Really, I am beyond thrilled. This has had me excited for the past WEEK. XD

And again, sorry that I wasn't able to get to it right away like I would have liked, but I'm just sneaking a few minutes now to tell you how incredibly awesome and wonderful this is.

THANK YOU! A million times over. And Merry Christmas to YOU!

Sapphireswimming

Haha. I LOVE how people here were more observant than they are back in Amity. That totally made me crack up, because their 'cartoonitis' is sooooo incredibly terrible.

Getting their picture was fun and so was the tour, although his zoning out wasn't the best... because it meant he didn't notice the ghost until it was too late! Almost. Eek. That was a problem. I didn't quite know which ghost it was or why they targeted Avilia, but that wasn't good. Nope. Not good at all.

What WAS good is that she can swim. YAY SWIMMING REFERENCE. hehe.

And into Alcatraz they go...

Sapphireswimming

Hehehe. I love Avilia and her Mom. You really managed to capture them both quite quickly with little narration. So funny.

Her advice giving was so great. She's so open and trusting and wise and knowledgeable and oh look, Penguins! Umm... how old are you exactly?

XD

And their conversation was so deep and interesting. I love how Danny was finally able to come to terms with who and what he is. It's about time! :D

Sapphireswimming

So... now that I've finally had time to get to this lovely fic... it's fabulous! So great. :D

I really love how you fashioned this episode to flow like an episode, with the theme song at the beginning and everything! And it didn't sound cheesy either. But it was really funny when Danny paused in his narration to ask if it was a fun song. XD

The first person narration was really interesting. And it worked well. It definitely wasn't stilted which is great because I think it's really hard to pull of first person.

There were a couple typos, but it's such a great beginning, that I barely noticed.

Sapphireswimming

Oh my goodness! Adorable story! Please being back Aviliva in another story!