not seeing a plot, but it's great... just need the plot...

moosey

I really liked it. Can't wait to read wht happends next.

I like the story especialy with the Linkin Park lyric bits, they seem to belong there, good job.

i like you're writing so very much! its very deep. keep on writing!

Good job, very deep. Not the typical Riddick reverie, but very well written. Write more :)

Hmmmmmm, this could really go somewhere! I urge you to continue and find a good plot. Keep writing!

Very nice insite into Riddick. You did good on this one, but it is crying out for a sequal!

Aww that was so heart wrenching. I thought it very well written and bittersweet. Hmm. I think that's a great add there of Jack kind of revering Fry more so than Riddick. Blaming him and such. Great writing of Riddick's thoughts and perhaps why Jack's words hurt him so much is because maybe he feels the same?

Fav. lines:

"You gave me back the humanity I lost so many years ago and now it’s killing me, it’s eating me from the inside out!” the fury and anguish in my voice is no longer surprising to me, it’s there every time I talk to you."

Odd how it's humanity eating him away while the 'animal' inside him sort of filled him. I think those are the perfect lines to describe how he must be feeling.

I hope you plan on a sequel because I like this story very much :) I would love to post it on my site : . It's for Fry fics and I'd love for it to be there :)

Thanks,

af :)